Did somebody say sugar skulls? It must be Día de Los Muertos (aka Day of the Dead)! From the history of the holiday to crafts, to food, and artisans to support, read on to get some inspiration for celebrating this important holiday with your family.

The Skull Truth: Día de Los Muertos Facts & History

Pixaby

Celebrated throughout the Americas, this tradition of Día de Los Muertos, or Day of the Dead, originated in Mexico. Kids will recognize the colorfully decorated sugar skull as the most common symbol. Your town or neighborhood may host a celebration, but not everyone knows the meaning behind it.

Did you know: 

The Dia de los Muertos holiday is actually two days, held consecutively: Nov. 1 is marked as a day to honor lost children, as well as any lost or forgotten souls. Nov. 2, Day of the Dead official, honors all lost ancestors and loved ones.

The week preceding (and sometimes longer) is spent in preparation for the big night which often culminates in a procession to the town cemetery or a central place where altars have been erected.

Loved ones are honored with offerings including the departed's favorite foods, drinks, and objects. 

Sugar skulls aren't necessarily to eat. 

Click here to learn even more about the significance of sugar skulls, why it's such an important holiday in Mexican culture, and how you can participate.  

Read a Day-of-the-Dead Inspired Story

Get ready for the holiday and inspiration for your own celebrations by reading books together. We love La Catrina: Emotions - Emociones, a sweet board book that uses beautiful imagery to help kids express emotions. For ages 4-8 we recommend the bilingual picture book, I Remember Abuelito: A Day of the Dead Story/Yo Recuerdo a Abuelito: Un Cuento Del Dia de Los Muertos

Support Latinx Artists

LaCatrinitaCrafts

Yes, we know you can get Day of the Dead decor at Target. But put some dollars into supporting Latinx artists to get your skeleton vibes and honor the roots of this holiday. 

Etsy shop MyCajitaCo goes beyond fair trade and cultivates items from Mexico-based artisans, like this incredible three-piece ofrenda set. And LaCatrinitaCrafts has hand-painted skeleton owls you will want next to you all the time. This Mama Muerte print from artist ScenicG is just one of his many gorgeous and unique pieces. 

Día de Los Muertos Recipes & Activity Kit

Día de Los Muertos activity for kids
Kidstir

Kidstir has a special Day of the Dead activity and recipe kit, aimed at getting kids into the kitchen to help celebrate the holiday. You'll receive three iconic recipes for Mexican dishes like quesadilla skulls, Mexican hot chocolate and Sopa de Fideo (classic tomato soup with fried pasta), along with activities, a cooking tool, stickers and more inspired by the holiday. 

You can purchase this activity kit on Kidstir.com.

Sweet Sugar Skull Crafts

Paula Bendfeldt-Diaz

Skulls and skeletons with flowers in their hair, hats, mustaches, suits, and more can be seen throughout the Day of the Dead holiday. Here are some sugar-skull-inspired crafts you can try at home with your kids this year. 

If you've always wanted to try making your own sugar skulls at home, check out this site to get supplies, decor, and tutorials.  

10 Recipes Perfect for Día de Los Muertos

day of the dead recipes
mangioeviaggiodasola.com

Because this is a time of celebration, feasting together, especially on your loved ones' favorite foods, is a significant part of the holiday. From Pan de Muerto—a sugar sprinkled yeast bread frequently placed on the altars to the dead—to traditional Mexican foods, check out these ten recipes to cook up something delicious. 

Photo: Tinkergarten

I can still remember not being able to sleep the night before the first day of school. The curiosity about my new teacher, the smell of fresh pencils and paper, and the excitement of being back among classmates—it all thrilled me. As a mom, I’d love to feel the same thrill for my own kids. Part of me does, but as the first day nears, that excitement is tinged with the realization that the pandemic is still in the mix.

And, I’m not alone, in a study this summer by JAMA pediatrics, 31% of parents were likely planning not to send their kids ages 5-12 to in-person schools, when only about 4% of school-eligible kids in the U.S. are typically homeschooled.

And our kids are likely worried, too.

As we adults are musing about the return to school, how are our kids doing? In any year, the transition back-to-school is exciting and disruptive.

This year, on top of the typical back-to-school anxiety, our perceptive kiddos are also likely sensing our COVID-inspired concern. Other adults around your kids may be expressing concern as well.

You may see all of this anxiety come out in different ways—for example, kids may cling to you more, cry more readily, seem more fidgety, complain of belly aches or express more negative thoughts or feelings than usual.

Luckily, no matter how you see your child responding, there are easy ways to help ground kids and reduce their anxiety. Learning these early arms them with a toolkit of ways to cultivate calm throughout their lives!

Head Outside

Studies and our own experiences show that when kids get outdoors, they enjoy reduced anxiety and enhanced mood. According to research, you only need two hours per week to start to feel the benefits, and the more the better!

Even though new fall schedules can feel full compared to the lazy days of summer, there are easy ways to build in more outside time. Turn meals and snacks into picnics. Make the most of morning and evening time, starting or ending your day with a walk or even just a glance up at the sky. Park a little farther away from the grocery store and enjoy the stroll.

If you can’t get outside as much as you’d like, bring the outside in! Gather up a few natural objects and offer them for play. Make the most of windows and natural light. Turn on nature sounds using apps on Google Play or the Apple App Store, search in Spotify, or listen for free online at Calmsounds. Get even more ideas for bringing nature into your home here.

Uncover “Hidden” Senses

While you’re outside, you can look for ways to balance your kids’ “hidden” senses to center and calm their bodies and minds. Even though we often think about our “5 senses” (sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch), there are others that help us to navigate the world and regulate ourselves. One of those hidden senses, proprioceptionis the sensing of pressure in the joints, ligaments and muscles of the body—what we feel when our body hits something and gets feedback—as when we jump, push or pull something heavy.

Proprioception helps our brains know where we are in space and gives us a literal feeling of being grounded. Without this input, our brain spends cycles trying to figure out where we are and this often comes out in behavior like tapping, fidgeting or general restlessness.

Young children get this from activities like chewing, jumping, stomping, crawling, climbing, dancing, rolling or stretching. There are so many ways to weave these movements in, and being outside often inspires them naturally.

Another sense that kids need to activate is their vestibular system. Located in the inner ear, it senses changes in the movement of our heads. If kids sit in one position all day long—something that tends to happen more in formal schools—they don’t get the vestibular input they need to feel centered and focused.

Kids can activate their vestibular systems by doing activities that change the position of their heads. Start by trading screen time for active time outside that includes looking up, down and all around, spinning, rolling, swinging and bending.

Practice Mindful Activities

Try one of these simple activities when you’re outside to cultivate extra calm.

  • Play with Shapes—Looking for shapes in nature or creating them using found objects gives kids a sense of order, calm and delight.
  • Spirals—There’s something extra special about spirals. Try these ways to create or move in spirals that are sure to calm your kids (and you).
  • Climb a Tree—Sometimes it’s hard to know how to help little kids climb trees. A few tips can help you manage the risks and help kids fall in love with climbing.
  • Mud Play—Our all-time favorite at Tinkergarten, the chance to dig, mix and create with mud fires multiple senses, gives kids a sense of creative freedom, and sparks tremendous joy—the perfect balance to worries! If mud is not a perfect fit for you or your kiddo, watch this quick video for alternatives!

Mindful Movement & Breath

We know that mind and body are closely connected, and when we combine certain movements with intentional thought, we can bring ourselves into the moment, strengthen our bodies and calm our minds. This is true for kids, too.

Teaching kids breathing exercises and poses inspired by the yoga tradition helps them regroup and calm themselves. These movements don’t eliminate big feelings or frustration but they help soften those rough moments.

Use stories or metaphors from real life to help kids learn movements and activate their imagination. At Tinkergarten, we move like animals, plants or natural phenomena to deepens kids’ connection to nature.

Find easy steps to help kids center themselves like a snake, stand still and strong like a mountain or summon and send out joy like a star.

Lessons Last a Lifetime

At the end of the day, being able to calm one’s body and mind engenders a lasting sense of empowerment and resilience in kids. Knowing ways to help kids regain their calm can make both teaching and parenting smoother. Cultivating calming techniques teaches them how to weather whatever life sends their way.

This post originally appeared on Tinkergarten.

After 18 years as an educator, curriculum developer and school leader, Meghan has her dream gig—an entrepreneur/educator/mom who helps families everywhere, including hers, learn outside. Today, Meghan serves as co-founder and Chief Learning Officer of Tinkergarten, the national leader in outdoor play-based learning. 

The beloved blue steam engine is rolling to a screen near you very soon! Thomas & Friends: All Engines Go premieres September 13 on Cartoonito, a new preschool block from Cartoon Network. And we have an exclusive new clip to get your kids even more excited. 

It’s rocket launch day and Thomas is ready to go! Of course, big days are a little more fun with friends involved. You’ll get a sneak peek at Percy, Nia, Diesel and Kana, plus the vibrant 2D animation, in this brand new clip.

 

The series follows the adventures of Thomas as he dreams of being the Number One Tank Engine. There’s plenty of trial, error and fun involved. Along the way, it showcases 26 social-emotional, cognitive and physical life lessons for young viewers. It’s produced by Mattel Television and reimagines the classic train franchise, with all the friends as kids, played by kid actors. 

“We can’t wait for the next generation of fans to meet Thomas and his friends. In Thomas & Friends: All Engines Go, we aim for audiences to have fun as we expand the world of Sodor in new and exciting ways,” said Christopher Keenan, Senior Vice President, Global Content & Executive Producer, Mattel Television.

Gather the gang and get ready to watch next Monday, September 13! The Cartoonito preschool block runs from 6 a.m. to 2 p.m. every day. After the season premiere, new episodes will come out every Monday. And if you’re looking for more fun ways to jump into the world of Thomas, check out the Thomas & Friends Storytime podcast, with 70 episodes available by the end of 2021. It can be found on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and wherever else families listen to podcasts.

—Sarah Shebek

Featured image courtesy of Mattel

 

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You’ve caught yourself humming the PAW Patrol theme song enough to know it’s one of your kiddo’s favorite shows. Now, for the first time EVER, Ryder and his gang of pups are heading out of Adventure Bay and taking to the big screen! Get your pup packs ready and head to your local theater to catch PAW Patrol: The Movie on August 20! Read on to get the scoop.

 

Head Beyond the Bay

Follow your favorite furry friends outside of their beloved Adventure Bay into the big, busy Adventure City where their arch-rival, Humdinger, has been elected mayor to disastrous results. But luckily, the PAW Patrol is on a roll, and they work together with a new pal Liberty—the city-savvy dachshund— to put things right.

 

Name That Pup

Chase, Marshall, Rubble, Skye, Rocky and Zuma are joined by their new pal, Liberty, and an outstanding new cast of supporting canine characters. Listen closely and see if you can recognize the celebs behind the voices, including Yara Shahidi, Kim Kardashian, Tyler Perry, Jimmy Kimmel, Randall Park and Dax Shepherd. In addition, you’ll find a star-studded soundtrack by artists including Adam Levine and Alessia Cara.

 

Chase Is on the Case

To coincide with the movie premiere, Paramount is launching some paw-some new features for families! You’ll find coloring and activity sheets and even a way to get a personalized message for your kids from Chase

 

Better Than Ever

On air since 2013, with nearly 200 episodes (most of which we’re betting your kids have seen more than once), PAW Patrol: The Movie will thrill fans of the show in new ways while holding on to that core mission of the pups—do good, and be kind.

 

PAW It Forward

Just like the pups do, you can PAW It Forward! Parents, kids, and fans alike are talking about different ways they can pay it forward in their own community, whether at home, in the classroom, or with friends and neighbors.  

PAW Patrol: The Movie is premiering on August 20 in theaters and on Paramount+, so book your seats and be there on the double!

 

—Amber Guetebier

Photo: Juicy Juice via JuicyJuice.com

Whether you’re prepared, scared, or maybe in denial, there’s no denying that the new school year is here. Although that may look different for families all over the country, with some opting into in-person learning, staying remote, a combination of both, or maybe even still unsure, we’re all in this together. I don’t need to tell you this school year will be unlike any other, you already know that. Instead, I’m using my years of experience as both a mom and a primary educator to provide some simple tips to help balance a new routine and tackle the new year feeling confident and empowered to make this the best year yet for your little learners. If nothing else, just remember you got this.  

1.  Use all the resources available to you. As a kindergarten teacher and mom of two littles, I’m always looking for ways to take some tasks off of my plate. We started to use grocery drop off/pick up services to save a little time. Also, everyone in the family is taking on more of an active role. We’ve also leaned on our family and friends in ways that we have not in the past. This can be difficult for so many parents that feel like we have to do it all….use your village! 

2. Give your children more control during a time when they might feel out of control. I love the word “yes.” When my children ask to do something, wear something, or play something…if it’s in my power to say “yes,” then I do! I want them to feel like they have some control when the world seems to be changing daily. For me, that means letting them select their own clothes or even giving them a little more control in their daily schedule. My children also learned how to pack their own lunches during quarantine so they can keep this up whether they are at home for distance learning or back in the classroom. We decided to put their lunch items, snacks, and juice boxes in places that are accessible for their tiny hands.

3. Support your kids by supporting their teachers. This is near to me since I hold space as a veteran teacher and concerned parent. I understand what it means to deal with distance learning at home or send my child into a school that I’m not allowed to step foot into. It’s tough stuff! On the other hand, I know what it is to be the teacher under pressure—especially during this unprecedented time. When it comes to your children’s’ teachers: assume the best intentions, be understanding. This is new for everyone. Be flexible and remember—the whole world is going through this. We are winning with each passing day!

4. Take care of yourself. Self-care is critical. Self-care is proactive. Self-care is so much deeper than a relaxing bubble bath. For me personally, self-care is even cleaning the bathtub after the relaxing bubble bath because I know that a dirty space might be a trigger for stress later. In a world that is ever connected, it’s also easy to compare yourself to others. Don’t! This is one of the fast ways to trigger stress and anxiety—and for me, that is the opposite of self-care. We are all on our own journey. Remember social media is a highlight reel and if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of anyone else.

Amber Kemp-Gerstel
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Amber Kemp-Gerstel is the host of Disney Family Sundays on Disney+ and founder of Damask Love, a creative blog all about DIY. Amber received her Ph.D. in Clinical Child Psychology from Vanderbilt University and practiced as a pediatric psychologist for many years before shifting careers to pursue her passion for creativity. 

Understatement of the year: Parenting while struggling with your own mental health is challenging. The truth is, as much as we don’t like to hear it, the ways we manage our own anxiety and stress—positive or negative—can impact our kids. But, before you can help your child, you have to learn to manage your own stress and anxiety in healthy ways.

All of us react poorly at times when we’re overwhelmed or frustrated. We raise our voices at our child when we shouldn’t or we let little things bother us that normally would not. It’s not until our child does the same thing two weeks later that we remember…those small, observant humans are always watching.

Kids observe us as parents because they are seeking information on how to interpret ambiguous situations. So, if you, the parent, seem worried, afraid, or anxious on a frequent or consistent basis, your child may conclude that certain scenarios are dangerous or triggering.

Having anxiety does not make you a bad parent. I cannot iterate this enough. 

Having anxiety as a parent just means that it’s especially important for you to learn stress management techniques and model this for your child. In fact, “A big part of treatment for children with anxiety is actually teaching parents stress tolerance. It’s a simultaneous process—it’s both directing the parent’s anxiety, and then how they also support and scaffold the child’s development of stress tolerance.”—Dr. Laura Kirmayer, a clinical psychologist.

As you learn and actively practice managing your own anxiety, you are paving a path for your child who is observing your behavior. From you, they are learning how to address situations of uncertainty or doubt. No pressure, right?

Here are some Child Mind Institute-approved ways we can positively model anxiety management for our kids.

First, explain your anxiety when your child sees it.

Let’s say, you lose your temper on bring-your-kid-to-work day because you’re running late for a meeting and traffic is terrible. Later in the day, when things calm down, it’s a good idea to address that moment with your child.

Do you remember when dad was angry in the car this morning? Well, I was feeling anxious because I was running late for a meeting and the way I managed my anxiety was by yelling at all of the other drivers on the road. But, there are other ways to manage anxiety. I will brainstorm some better ways that I can handle this situation next time so that I don’t let traffic ruin my morning or yours.

Second, talk openly about your anxiety.

This is important because it lets your kids know they have permission to feel stress but also that stress is manageable. You may not want your child to be the eye witness of your every anxious moment, but you also don’t have to hide your emotions.

It’s actually healthy for kids to observe how their parents cope with stress every now and then. When we keep our children from seeing us anxious, stressed, angry or sad 100% of the time, we inadvertently send the message that they do not have permission to feel those emotions and that, when they inevitably feel these emotions, there is no appropriate way to manage them.

Third, make a plan.

Be prepared to manage situations that trigger stress. If you know you have a day full of stressful meetings coming up, plan to step aside and take a few deep breaths in between each meeting. If you know your mother-in-law is staying at your place, plan your reaction when she asks why the house isn’t cleaner.

Fourth, know when to disengage.

If you know that a situation causes you a great deal of stress, figure out how to remove yourself from the situation. For example, if you have separation anxiety from dropping your kids off at soccer practice, try swapping carpool schedules with a parent. If they drop off, you’ll pick up. Of course you eventually want to be able to take your child to practice but, if you are still working through this, it’s okay to carpool. You want to avoid letting your tone or facial expressions lead your kids to believe there is something dangerous about being dropped off at practice.

Take some time for yourself to engage in a stress-relieving activity when you feel a bout of anxiety coming on in the presence of your child (even if it’s just taking a few deep breaths). This is way easier said than done, but can save you hardships in the long run.

And finally, find a support system. Like, actually do it.

Even if you’re a single parent, you really do not have to do it alone. Identify people in your life (text them right now or, if it’s late, tomorrow morning) who will help out when you feel overwhelmed or follow up with encouraging words when you need them. This could be your spouse, a therapist, another PTA parent, an in-person or virtual support group, etc.

You can also find support through social media, blogs, or other online forums. Lots of parents are passionate about mental health and parenting and they write about it publicly.

I leave you with this: You aren’t expected to manage your stress right every time. The cool thing about having a kid is that they force us to grow into the type of people we want to be because we, whether we choose to or not, lead by example. If you’re thinking that stress management is something you need to fix about yourself, reframe that. This is an opportunity to grow personally and to grow with your child.

To learn more about explaining anxiety to your kids, check out maro by BeforeWeBegin.

 

Works cited: Brigit Katz is a staff writer at Tina Brown Media’s Women in the World. Her writing has appeared on NYtimes.com, N. (2020, April 07). How to Avoid Passing Anxiety on to Your Kids.

Kenzie Butera Davis
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

maro helps parents navigate tough growing-up conversations with their kids: mental health, puberty, empathy & diversity.

Looking for some indoor activities for when the weather is too hot? LEGO to the rescue!

The brick maker has dropped a slew of new sets for all ages and stages. From darling DUPLO sets to a whole new range of Harry Potter scenes, there are tons of ways to get creative this summer. Keep scrolling to see some of our favorites.

Hogwarts Chamber of Secrets

$129.99

Hogsmeade Village Visit

$79.99

Hogwarts Wizard's Chess

$59.99

Hogwarts Fluffy Encounter

$39.99

Taj Mahal

$119.99

Belle and the Beast's Castle

$79.99

Available Aug. 1

Belle and Rapunzel's Royal Stables

$49.99

Heartlake City Grand Hotel

$99.99

Available Aug. 1

Adventures with Luigi Starter Course

$59.99

Available for pre-order, will ship Aug. 1

Minnie's House and Café

$49.99

Carnotaurus Dinosaur Chase

$49.99

––Karly Wood

All photos: Courtesy of LEGO

 

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Whether you’re looking for brand new ways to improve your family’s health or you’re already a healthy bunch, it’s never too early or too late to add some new ideas into your repertoire. Health is a journey, and different techniques will work for different people and families better than others. Whether you have little ones who are hardly old enough to toddle or you’re chasing after growing tweens and teens, getting healthy is all about finding the methods that work for all of you.

There are so many health hacks out there for those interested in living a more conscious life, whatever that looks like in your household. While of course, if you find yourself or any of your kids in a medical quandary or serious emergency, you should head to the doctor’s office or hospital immediately, there’s no reason why you can’t use little tips and tricks to improve your health before that happens! If you’re on the hunt for the best hacks around, here are some amazing ways you can make room for a little more healthy living in your family.

1. Go On Walks Together

Going on walks is one of the best ways to get in a bit of exercise while you spend quality time together. Since it’s a fun and leisurely activity, you almost don’t think of it as exercise, even though it definitely is. While you give your mind a break, you can also move your body and get some sunlight.

2. Always Eat Breakfast

It can sometimes be tempting to skip breakfast, especially if you tend to be busy often and the whole family is running out the door in the mornings. However, eating breakfast can be more beneficial than meets the eye—in fact, eating a healthy breakfast encourages more balanced choices throughout the rest of the day. So even if you eat something small, this one is a hack that can go far.

3. Freeze Your Fruits & Veggies

For another money-saving and waste-cutting hack, this food trick is one of the best out there! If your family doesn’t always finish the foods you bring into the house, you don’t need to let them go to waste. In fact, you can simply save fresh produce for later by sticking them in the freezer. Simply cook up those veggies later and blend up the fruit for smoothies, and you can save both money and food!

4. Always Bring Snacks

Sometimes you don’t know when hunger is going to hit you, and that especially goes for kids! Rather than searching for junk food when you’re out and chowing down on snacks with sugar and preservatives, you can pack snacks to keep on you when you go out so you—and the kids—don’t go hungry or looking for junk food snacks.

5. Stay Hydrated

Just like keeping snacks on you so you and the kids don’t need to worry about finding junk food when you’re out, it’s also important to keep a water bottle on you so you can stay hydrated throughout the day. Water keeps you energized and feeling good in your body, so you shouldn’t forget to drink your water every day!

6. Make Time for Meditation

Meditation is a great way to take care of your mental health as a family. While some people do not realize that kids can meditate and benefit greatly from the process, teaching kids to meditate early on can aid in emotional development, communication and mental health—notably, the same benefits that most adults see, too. Even if you just carve out five minutes each day, meditating can be a great habit for your family.

8. Get On a Sleep Schedule

If you have kids in your house, you’re likely well aware of the kind of sleep that they need to grow and function. But everybody needs sleep—parents, kids and teens alike. Ideally, you should be getting at least eight hours of sleep each night, and one of the best ways to do that is by getting on a sleep schedule. Yes, a set bedtime for you and the kids!

Health Hacks for Your Family

There are so many ways to feel a bit healthier in your household, and it’s all about finding the ones that work with you and running with them. From freezing fruits and veggies to developing healthy sleep habits, there are so many choices for turning your home into a healthy space for everyone there. Do you have any favorite health tips you swear by?

RELATED:
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Moms, Here’s Why You’ll Want to Put the Kids to Bed Early Tonight––& Every Night

 

Kara Reynolds is the Editor-in-Chief and founder of Momish Magazine.  A mom of four and matriarch to her big blended family, Kara wants nothing more than to normalize differences in family structures.  She enjoys peeing alone, pancakes, and pinot noir - but not at the same time. 

Authors’s Note: The following article is about miscarriage. Currently, many who suffer miscarriages suffer alone and those who do share their stories often aren’t met with the support they need. This is a PSA as a voice to help shift the societal norm of not talking about pregnancy loss as well as to offer tips for how others can support a grieving couple.  

 

Miscarriage is unfair, terrible and painful.

It is one of those things that parents-to-be fear may happen to them. One of those things that unfortunately does occur to 1 in 4 women. And one of those things that is not talked about much, leading those going through it to feel mightily alone.

Miscarriage so often occurs that it is a common practice to avoid telling friends and loved ones about our pregnancies until after the 12-week mark, where the risk decreases significantly. The idea is that if we lose a baby in the early stages of pregnancy and have not told anyone yet, then we don’t have to go through the awkward and painful hassle of telling everyone that we are no longer pregnant. It sounds very practical. But, practical does not equal painless or healthy.

My concern about the common approach to pregnancy and pregnancy loss is that it has the potential to be even more painful. Often this grieving mama is left to suffer alone, retreating within, by not sharing about the miscarriage. There is this sense that sharing the news is “TMI” for others, too heavy, too personal, too negative. Or, if she does decide to share about it with her closest confidants, she is stressed about navigating how to broach the subject, which involves also telling them she was pregnant in the first place.

What’s more is that the accumulation of a society’s silent miscarriages leads many couples to feel alone in their loss. One of the best ways to process and heal from grief is to relate to others, feel their support and love, learn what helped them and express feelings. But, how can a mama find this from friends and family if she thinks she does not know anyone else who has gone through the same thing? The reality is, this mama most likely knows several women who have suffered, she just doesn’t know that she does.

This mama walks around, surrounded by others who have felt a similar pain, alone. She feels isolated in a sea of sisters. If only everyone had been open during their experience, she would have waves of support and love.

Another repercussion of the societal silence is that we aren’t practiced in how to offer help or support for a grieving mama. Don’t get me wrong, we try to do our best on the fly. We give sympathetic looks, we say “let me know if there anything I can do”, but we don’t know what to do and we move on, afraid of the uncomfortable conversation that is so often avoided.

In speaking with mom friends who have been there for a friend or who have suffered a miscarriage themselves, I have compiled a list of ways to support a grieving mama:

  1. Ask her how she’s doing and let her know that it’s okay to mourn.
  2. Don’t avoid the topic in fear of bringing up something that might make her sad. She already is sad. Show her you care. That said, if she doesn’t feel like talking after you’ve asked, respect that.
  3. Give her a hug—like a real hug. Hug her tight. Let her cry if she needs to.
  4. Make her something yummy to eat. It could be dinner, it could be dessert, it doesn’t matter. This not only shows love but saves her from having to plan and make food for herself when she might not have the drive to.
  5. If she is already a mom, offer to watch her kids. Give her a chance to grieve without having to tend to other little people. It will give her the rare opportunity to be able to put her needs and feelings first.
  6. If you feel close enough with the other parent or if your partner is, check in with them too. They may not have gone through the physical miscarriage, but they are still affected, hurt, sad and grieving too.
  7. If you have been through a miscarriage and feel comfortable sharing about it, relate with this mama. Let her know you’ve been there. Tell her what was helpful to you.
  8. Offer to do any of the above suggestions and see what resonates with her. Say “I want to help,” and tell her specifically the ways in which you can (such as the items above). Maybe she’ll pick what sounds best to her.
  9. If you don’t live near, send a card. Emily McDowell has several great cards for offering support.
  10. Lastly, if you are a friend or family member who is pregnant, please be thoughtful in the way you speak of your own pregnancy with or in front of this mama during this sensitive time.

I hope this societal norm shifts. I hope to see more families share about their pregnancy joys at the time that feels right to them and not just when miscarriage risk decreases. I hope the feelings of shame, embarrassment, isolation and fear that surround sharing about pregnancy loss fades. I hope mamas will look for and find solace and comfort in others should they need to.

And I hope we can learn how to be that solace and comfort in return.

Christina Furnival
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

I am a mom to two young kids, a licensed psychotherapist, and a children's book author. My passion is to help and empower moms and children to understand themselves better, navigate challenge confidently, and live the life they want. Visit me at ChristinaFurnival.com

My 6-year-old was excited to make a star out of sticks and string, but as the materials tangled, his frustration spiked. So we took a break and went on a walk together.

“Do you remember when you were learning how to ride a bike?” I said. “You fell down a lot at first, and you got really frustrated sometimes, but you didn’t give up. Now you ride around like a pro. Everything new takes practice, but you always figure it out.”

Childhood is all about growing, on the outside and inside. Tasks adults take for granted—like buttoning a jacket—require practice to master. Every time our kids work through these big and small challenges, they are building their skills for resilience and perseverance. These aren’t fixed traits that kids are born with. Rather, they develop slowly through life experience, practice, and with the support of caring adults.

Donkey Hodie,” a new puppet series from PBS KIDS, draws its inspiration from Fred Rogers and his mission to help young viewers navigate the challenges of childhood. In each episode, characters set goals, encounter obstacles, explore and test solutions, experience failure, and persist toward their goal, asking for help as needed. While the show is set in the whimsical land of Someplace Else, it models a problem-solving process that kids and parents will readily recognize.

Here are 4 ways parents and caregivers can support this vital effort to help kids build perseverance and resilience.

1. Help Children Name Their Goals
Goals are powerful, even for kids. They want to learn how to tie their shoes, shoot a basket, buckle their seatbelt, write their name, cut with scissors, walk the dog, learn a new game, make a new friend, name all the dinosaurs, build a tower, and find ways to be helpful, and become contributing members of their families and classrooms.

When children can name a small goal they want to accomplish, it can help them focus their attention, explore strategies, and persist when things go wrong. And it helps us, as caregivers, celebrate their successes. “You did it! You learned how to zip up your coat all by yourself!”

2. Help Children Work through Tough Emotions
Sometimes, learning and growing can be really frustrating. A little empathy can go a long way in helping kids find the strength to try, try again. Try a simple phrase like this: “You spent a long time building that tower and then it fell. That’s super frustrating!”

Calming big emotions is a vital step that comes before problem-solving. In the story “Royal Sandcastle Builders,” Donkey, King Friday, and Purple Panda sing about the different ways they practiced calming down after getting frustrated at trying to build a sandcastle. And then they are able to try again! When kids are in the middle of an emotional storm, it’s unrealistic to expect them to brainstorm solutions! But when the storm passes, we can be there to help them think about what to do next.

3. Praise Children’s Efforts & Be Specific
Generic praise—such as “Wow!” or “Good work!” or “Nice!”—is warm and supportive. But descriptive praise is even more powerful because it’s specific and helps kids make the connection between what they are doing and what they are learning.

This language shift can be pretty simple. Just describe what you notice. “Good work” can become “Good work figuring out how to share with your sister.” “Nice!” can become “Nice! I like all the different colors you used in this picture.”

When we offer specific observations, we show our kids that we are paying attention to them. We see their effortAnd when it comes to building perseverance and resilience, effort matters more than the outcome.

4. Use Stories to Teach Them about “Yet.”
There’s a big difference, emotionally, between the phrase, “I can’t do it!” and “I can’t do it, yet.” The word “yet” is a bridge between present frustration and future possibility. Stories are a great tool for inspiring kids to persevere, especially when they hear and watch stories about characters who work through challenges. We can also tell children stories about themselves! My kids love hearing stories about how they turned a struggle into an achievement. It helps them feel proud and reminds them that they can do hard things.

Growing up is hard, amazing work. Kids deserve supportive adults by their side, offering encouragement and celebrating all the ways they are growing.

—By Deborah Farmer Kris
Deborah Farmer Kris is a writer, teacher, parent educator, and school administrator. She works on parenting projects for PBS KIDS for Parents and writes about education for MindShift, an NPR learning blog. Deborah has two kids who love to test every theory she’s ever had about child development! Mostly, she loves finding and sharing nuggets of practical wisdom that can help kids and families thrive — including her own. You can follow her on Twitter @dfkris.

This post originally appeared on PBS KIDS for Parents.

PBS KIDS believes the world is full of possibilities, and so is every child. As the number one educational media brand for kids, PBS KIDS helps children learn life lessons, explore their feelings and discover new adventures, while seeing themselves uniquely reflected and celebrated in lovable, diverse characters through television, digital media, and community-based programs.