With the constant stream of news feeds and uncertainty both in and outside the home, it’s pretty easy for parents to feel the brunt of some major stress. Now more than ever, take a minute (literally) to destress, anytime, anywhere. Scroll down for some super quick ways to find your inner zen—in 60 seconds or less.

Stop, Drop & Breathe

Max van den Oetelaar via Unsplash

When you start to get revved up, stress hormones flood your body and you go into fight or flight mode. According to renowned parenting expert and author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, Dr. Laura Markham, if you stop what you're doing and take a few deep breaths, it sends your body a message that it's not an emergency and you'll begin to calm down. For maximum effectiveness, she recommends practicing this technique regularly.

Top tip: Each time you inhale, breathe air right into your belly so that it expands.

Stick Your Hand Under the Faucet

Yoann Boyer via Unsplash

Yes, handwashing is uber-important now more than ever, but it's also a great way to soothe away stress. According to Dr. Markham, just as baths are great for calming kids and toddlers, the sound and sensation of running water over your hand can soothe away stress. Try these handwashing song-alternatives to know how long to do it.

Tip: It can also be helpful to splash cold water over your face as this will stimulate the vagus nerve, which will slow your heart rate down.

Hug It Out

Susn Matthiessen via Unsplash

Social distancing aside, if your kids are pushing your buttons and you're about ready to explode, hug your partner or even your dog. According to experts, hugging for at least 15 seconds triggers a release of oxytocin (known as "the love drug") in your brain, which makes you feel calmer, happier and more connected.

Obviously, because of the spread of Coronavirus, this one comes with a caveat. 

Reach for Some Calming Drops

Christin Hume via Unsplash

For fans of alternative medicine, there are plenty of calming drops out there that are designed to combat stress. Probably the most famous of them all is Bach Rescue Remedy, which was created by Dr. Bach to deal with emergencies and crises. Made from spring water infused with flowers and brandy, it is said to remove negative emotions and restore balance to the mind and body. The bottle is small so you can pop it in your handbag. When you next arrive late for a school concert and have to stand at the back of the auditorium, simply put a few drops under your tongue to restore your inner calm.

Scream into a Pillow

Teri via Unsplash

There are times when moms feel like screaming and that's okay. But, instead of screaming at someone, which will only make you, them and everyone else feel bad, head to the bedroom, plant your face on the closest pillow and scream, shout or curse as loud as you can. This is a great way of relieving tension and no one will hear you. This has become such a big thing that you can even buy scream pillows on Etsy.

Press on Your Pressure Points

Angelo Esslinger via Pixbay

Acupressure is a form of traditional Chinese medicine designed to promote healing and relaxation. Our bodies are covered in pressure points and some of them are associated with stress relief. When these pressure points are stimulated, it triggers the brain to release endorphins, increases blood circulation and relieves muscle tension. This is something you can easily do by yourself. There is one between your eyebrows and another on the fleshy area between your thumb and forefinger. All you need to do is press firmly or massage the area for several seconds to reduce stress. This is a good one when you're stuck in traffic and seething or sitting at your desk.

Come Up with a Mantra

Mark Adriane via Unsplash

When stress levels are high, many people swear by repeating mantras (or affirmation phrases) to rediscover their inner calm. While this method might sound a bit whacky, Dr. Markham suggests writing down a bunch of phrases on post-it notes and sticking them around the house to help you decide which one you are most comfortable with. Examples of stress-relieving mantras include "I can handle this", "It's not an emergency," or "He/she is acting like a child because he/she is a child."  

Dance Like No One's Watching

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Both listening to music and dancing are great ways to de-stress. Another top tip from Dr. Markham is to stop whatever is making you stressed, put on your favorite tunes and dance or jump around. Getting the kids to join in too is even better as this is also a great way for them to shake off any angst they have accumulated throughout the day.

Step Outside

Radu Florin via Unsplash

Perhaps your kids are fighting yet again and your blood pressure is rising or you've got so much to do and don't know where to start. An easy solution to feeling less stressed and overwhelmed is to go outside. Close the door behind you, breathe in some fresh air, look up at the sky and all around. If there are any flowers, then smell them and listen for sounds such as birds tweeting. The simple act of getting outdoors and focusing on your senses will quickly distract your mind and help you to feel more relaxed and re-energized. 

Eat Chocolate

Alexander Stein via Pixabay

Despite what you might think, eating chocolate is not all bad. When your stress levels are at the max, eating a piece of dark chocolate can help. According to two recent studies at Loma Linda University, eating dark chocolate with a minimum of 70% cacao can reduce stress as well as improve memory, immunity and mood. The only challenge is to not eat the whole bar!

Strike a Pose

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By this we mean a yoga pose. Yoga is known to do wonders for calming the mind and body. It helps you slow down, clear your mind and focus on one thing, so you soon feel more relaxed. A really easy but effective pose that's great for reducing stress and anxiety is Child's Pose, also known at Balasana. This video on Yoga Journal shows you how to do it properly.

—Janine Clements

 

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Has my phone become an extension of my arm? Though I live in the jungle, we have wifi. Ordinarily, I’m fairly mindful of regular technology detoxes, but with a surplus of time at home right now, my use of devices has been magnified. A Facetime chat leads to an Instagram post, followed by a zoom call for work, then a photo texted to a friend, and, why not post that on Facebook too? Repeat. It’s an addictive hamster wheel.

The other day I noticed my 6-month-old son Zephyr watching me: fascinated with the device that consumes so much of my attention. If baby Zephyr could talk, he would probably ask, “Why can’t we just watch the trees? They’re far more interesting than that unnatural thing you’re always staring at.”  

Right on little dude, I have much to learn from you! I reach for my phone to add a note about baby wisdom to my stickies app. No!!! I catch myself—again. Mama instinct is slowly kicking in; something is off and balance definitely needs to be restored.  

Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for WIFI and my devices. Personally, they’re helping me stay connected with the people that I love during this unusual time. Professionally, technology has made all the difference in managing/marketing my jungle lodge, not to mention launching my new book, Wildpreneurs.

That said, my device usage and dependence are getting way out of control.

A few days ago, I stumbled upon the term “digital wellness” in a book called Breathe to Succeed, by Sandy Abrams. Synchronicity? Though our social calendars have cleared, our headspace is being filled with infinite virtual opportunities. This is a blessing and a real challenge. During this stay-at-home period of time, we’re all Wildpreneurs—we’re adapting to unknown territory and making decisions about how to manage our time personally and professionally. With this new “normal” how will we manage our relationships with our devices?

Baby Zephyr’s simple observation has inspired our family to make a few shifts at home. Do you feel like your brain is being invaded by chronic virtual stimulation? If so, here are Zephyr’s seven simple tips for digital wellness:

1. Have a destination but enjoy the journey. We’re all trying to survive through this unusual time, and devices can be a very effective way to pass the time and stay connected. But they’re also a numbing force that pulls us away from the “right here, right now.” Regardless of the challenge we’re all facing, let’s not forget to notice the simple pleasures and beauty of the world around us. Despite the circumstances, life is happening now—we don’t want to miss it.

2. Practice the “Tree & Breathe” visualization. Wherever you are, find a tree (your phone is not invited to join this activity). Look at the tree and imagine it exhaling as you inhale. Breathe deeply and intentionally. This is a powerful visualization exercise that offers instant revitalization. “Shallow breath leads to shallow results,” says author Sandy Abrams. The next time you’re looking at your device, notice your breath. Is it shallow? Half breaths quickly clog up the mind and body, triggering a spiral of negative side effects. When was the last time you took a really deep breath? There is much out of our control right now but we can control our breath. Zephyr says visit trees and practice this visualization often.

3. Take mini field trips without the phone. Go to the back yard, on a walk, or even just wander to another room in your house. Leave your phone behind. If you live in a small space you might have to get creative. How can you explore your home and find a new perspective? Can you imagine your home through baby Zephyr’s eyes?

4. Recharge your device, recharge yourself. When you plug in your phone for a charge, use this as a prompt to take a mindfulness pause. Arianna Huffington, co-founder of the Huffington Post, suggests treating our bodies as we do our cell phones. “We’re all exquisitely aware of the recharging routine of our phones…And yet, on the flip side, with our bodies and our minds and our souls, we’ll run them right into the ground until the shutdown.” How do you recharge? Why not try a project/activity that is non-technology based…maybe spring cleaning or yoga?

5. Pick up an old fashioned pen and paper. Devices typically offer convenience for on the go. No need for that while we’re stuck in the house, we have plenty of time to do things the old-fashioned way. Why not revert to via pen and paper? What about a wall calendar or agenda book? Dust off your old journal and dive in.

6. Create a technology-free zone in the house. Zephyr has designated a specific area of our living room as a technology-free zone. This is Zephyr’s main play area—no devices allowed, presence, and mindful playtime only.

7. Do a digital detox for half the day. We originally tried to put our devices aside for a whole day and found that to be a bit tricky. Half-day digital detoxes are perfect for us and we’re making them a priority. Baby Zephyr loves it!!!!

My computer battery is running low and Zephyr is just waking up from his nap. It’s time to shut down, plug in my device, roll out my yoga mat, and practice happy baby pose with Zephyr as we look up at the trees. We’re sending jungle health (mind and body) your way!

Known as “The Jungle Mama”, Tamara Jacobi is the author of Wildpreneurs:A Guide for Turning Passion into Business (HarperCollins Leadership, Feb. 2020) and founder of the Tailwind Jungle Lodge on the Mexican Pacific. Tamara is loving the adventure of motherhood! Her son Zephyr was born on Oct, 2019. 

Elmo’s dad has a message for parents everywhere. Sesame Street knows how much hard work is going into working from home and helping with distance learning. They made a new PSA to remind parents to take a moment for themselves. 

The PSA, which is part of Sesame Workshop’s new Caring for Each Other initiative, features Elmo’s dad, Louie. Elmo is in the background asking to build a pillow fort, but Louie needs to take a moment to himself. He says, “It is wonderful to be able to spend so much time with our children, but it can also be a bit overwhelming. So I just wanted to say, parents, you’re doing an amazing job. Remember though, it’s important to take some time for yourself. Take care of you. Listen to your favorite song, stretch, or just take a moment to breathe.”

Sesame Workshop’s new Caring for Each Other initiative includes resources for families to help them with distance learning and creating new routines for children to follow. Free eBooks and other downloadable materials are currently available as well.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: Sesame Street via YouTube

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One moment your kid is laughing and having fun, and the next she’s overcome with fear (maybe when leaving the house or faced with an unknown situation). Anxiety, especially separation anxiety, is a normal childhood stage, but some kids need a little more help to manage their fears. Luckily there are plenty of techniques to help a kid manage these feelings. We asked around and got experts to weigh in on what (and what not!) to do. Keep reading to find out more.

Pexels

1. Don't reassure your kid that everything is fine. While you may know that's the reality of the situation, your anxious little one won't be able to understand the verbal platitudes. Resist the urge to reassure and instead show empathy. Tell your kiddo that you understand how she feels, and show her that you'll listen to her fears.

2. Get your child to relax before you talk. According to this NPR article, upset kids won't even be able to listen to your words until they're calm. Consider implementing yoga practices like deep breathing. These five yoga habits were developed by a kids' yoga instructor to promote calm and change the mood.

istock

3. Help your child learn how to manage anxiety. Anxious kids tend to get stuck on the overwhelming feeling of fear. Instead of trying to eliminate the problem, Dr. Clark Goldstein, a child and adolescent psychologist, suggests helping your child learn how to manage it. He says "the best way to help kids overcome anxiety isn’t to try to remove stressors that trigger it. It’s to help them learn to tolerate their anxiety and function as well as they can, even when they’re anxious. And as a byproduct of that, the anxiety will decrease or fall away over time."

4. Shift the focus from What If to What Is. According to Renee Jain, the founder and chief storyteller of GoZen!, an online social and emotional learning platform for kids, shifting the mental focus from the future to the present can help to alleviate anxiety. Jain says, "Research shows that coming back to the present can help alleviate this tendency. One effective method of doing this is to practice mindfulness exercises. Mindfulness brings a child from what if to what is."

Librarian Avengers via Flickr

5. Enlist furry friends. Family pets and toys can go a long way to help your little one feel comforted and calm. Whether you have a family dog or cat, or your child has a favorite stuffed animal, encourage them to spend some time with their furry friends when they feel anxious.

6. Have goodbye rituals. Kids are creatures of habits, and while they may complain about keeping to a schedule, consistency goes a long way to help kids know what to expect and keep them calm. Having a goodbye ritual is extremely helpful if your kid suffers from separation anxiety. Keep to a regular routine of walking each other to the door, giving a kiss on the cheek and maybe saying a familiar phrase. This helps kids realize that just as the routine stays the same, so will mom or dad's return to them.

istock

7. Help your child pay attention to his or her body. Mindfulness guru Mallika Chopra has written two books on coping strategies for kids ages 8-12 (Just Breathe, Just Feel). She says, "When you are feeling anxious, you often feel it in your body. Perhaps butterflies in your stomach or stiffness in your neck, perhaps pain in your feet or buzzing in your head. For kids and parents, connecting with feelings in their body can help them feel more in control and release tension. Take another deep breath in, putting attention where you are feeling unease, and imagine releasing it as you breathe out."

8. Develop a consistent bedtime routine. There's something about the dark that brings out fear in lots of kids. One way to calm an anxious child at night is to create a bedtime routine and stick to it. This may include reading a story together, brushing teeth, curling up with a favorite stuffed friend and going to bed at the same time each night. The routine and knowing what to expect goes a long way to help calm an anxious child.

iStock

9. Channel the anxiety into physical activities. These activities are a great way of redirecting the feelings of stress into a physical outlet. Daily walks or bike rides around the neighborhood are good ideas. If your kid needs a little more of a release, try a team sport like soccer or join a YMCA and enroll in gymnastics or martial arts class.

10. Encourage kids to express their fear through drawing or writing in a journal. Sometimes getting our fears out of our heads and onto the paper is a helpful way to help kids face fears. Just the act of releasing the fear can help an anxious child feel calm.

11. Recognize their positive strides. Struggling with an anxiety disorder is extremely tough for kids. So when your little one does something that helps them overcome their fears—even the smallest of things—recognize their effort.

—Leah R. Singer

Featured image: iStock 

 

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Photo: Pixabay

If we think we know a thing or two about life and love going into parenting, we realize the moment our child first rests in our arms just how shallow our roots of understanding. Which makes sense because the greatest path to knowing self is by coming to know who we are as a part of someone else.

And as a mom, fusing ourselves to the heartbeat of our kiddos is indescribable. While we learn a whole lot of good about the true meaning of love, our children also have an uncanny ability to point out massive flaws in our character. Thank God. Really, God, thank you.

Our kin become a perpetual mirror for us to gaze upon as they reflect back what we like about our self along with what needs some finishing touches. Since I’ve somehow managed to log 23 years of parenting three kids in like 20 seconds of real time, the length of journey allows me to ponder all the lessons learned. And let me tell you, the instruction is kinda sorta picking up steam as I steward young adults in their 20s. Fair warning.

So here are 36 beautiful lessons—based in part from Robert Fulghum’s poem, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten—we can glean from our precious ones, split into Act 1(birth to 12) and Act 2 (13+) of child rearing. Act 1: All the Insight Needed to Become Selfless Your Young Kids Will Teach You

  1. Cherish everything.
  2. Fight fair.
  3. Don’t compare yourself to others.
  4. Put everything into perspective.
  5. Worry about your own mess.
  6. Don’t expect others to see things the way you do.
  7. Say I love you. Always.
  8. Count to ten before anything.
  9. Pray.
  10. Trials and struggles enlighten you.
  11. Live a grateful life.
  12. Trust more, think less.
  13. And love and hug and listen and laugh.
  14. Speak, but also be.
  15. Make some time for you every day.
  16. When you feel like you’re alone on an island, know a million other parents share the same shore.
  17. Communicate, then succeed and fail together.
  18. Become a child once again.

Act 2: All the Insight Needed for Authentic Freedom Your Teens Will Teach You

  1. Let go of almost everything.
  2. Give up the fight.
  3. Don’t take things personally.
  4. Change your perspective.
  5. Stop worrying.
  6. Try to see things as others do.
  7. Love. Everything. Always.
  8. Count your blessings daily.
  9. Pray. Pray. Pray.
  10. Let yourself unfold.
  11. Live simply and simply live.
  12. Be more open-minded.
  13. And observe and breathe and be and become.
  14. Project less.
  15. Love yourself each day.
  16. When you feel like you’ve done nothing right, pause and turn to God for His opinion.
  17. Communicate by listening first, speaking if necessary, extending Grace always.
  18. Embrace the dichotomy of life.

Witnessing the chaos, magnificence, unpredictability, grand metamorphoses of all things ‘growing up’ reminds us how much we need to unlearn as adults to become like little children once again.

The joys of motherhood speak for themselves, but it’s in the messy pile where we find our authentic self.

The gift of motherhood full of collateral beauty we never signed up for and receive anyway: freedom to unfold and become the best version of ourselves right alongside our kids.

What a blessing.

A self-described “sappy soul whisperer/sarcasm aficionado,” Shelby is a wife of 27 years & mom of three millennials. She co-authored How Are You Feeling, Momma? (You don't need to say, "I'm fine.") Her stories are in print at Guideposts, online at sites like Her View From Home and Parenting Teens & Tweens, and at shelbyspear.com. Get 3 FREE chapters of Shelby's book

With some schools closed for a few weeks and others till the end of the school year, kids are feeling completely out of sorts with any kind of normal routine. To ease the disruption and cultivate a sense of joy and calm within what is a chaotic time, what is helping in my house is meditation. While meditation for me looks like sitting with my eyes closed and focusing on my breath, it looks very different for my two and a half-year-old. While the benefits of meditation for children are similar in that it helps them to cultivate a focused attention, become more compassionate and kind to themselves and others, and helps regulate emotion, meditation practice for kids is different than for adults.

Here are a few meditation and mindfulness practices for different age groups that can help you and your children feel more relaxed during this time.

3 to 6-Year-Olds

Snail Breathing: Find a nice place to sit with your child. Make sure all distractions are put away. They can be next to you or seated on your lap. Show them your right hand, spreading out all five fingers. Begin by showing them the practice. The practice is tracing your right hand with the pointer finger of your left hand. You inhale as you go up to your thumb, exhale as you go down your thumb, inhale as you go up to your pointer finger, exhale as you go down your pointer finger … when you get to your pinky switch hands and do the same thing on the other side.

Counting Breaths: Lay down with your child or guide them through this exercise. Have them get comfortable and stretch out onto their backs. Close their eyes, let the body be limp, like a doll. Begin to count breaths. 1: breathe in, 2: breathe out, 3:breathe in, continue up to 10. If they are old enough ask them to do it again and count their breaths silently up to 10, and when they reach 10, to start again. If they lose track counting, start counting again, and begin at 1.

30 Second Meditation: Ask your child to run in place or do it with them for 30 seconds, then ask them to put their hands on their heart, noticing the speed of the beats.

Sound Meditation: Have your child close their eyes while you start playing musical instruments. Ask the child to open their eyes when they notice that the sound has gone and it’s silent.

Tingly Meditation: Have your child stand up and raise their arms above their heads. Ask them to shake their arms and hands really fast. Then say stop and have them put their attention on the sensation they feel in their arms and hands.

The Balloon: Standing up in a relaxed way ask your child to think of their favorite color and picture a giant balloon of that color in their mind. Take a slow, deep inhale through the nose, filling up their bellies with air as if trying to blow up their giant balloon. Then on the next inhale, ask them to stretch their arms open and overhead to represent the big balloon. When their balloon is totally full, ask them to hold their breath at the top, and then you can “pop the balloon” for them (gesture finger to belly) and they can fall down as they exhale.

Back Meditation: Have your child lay on their tummy and you trace a letter on their back. Ask them what letter you’ve drawn. You can do this with shapes as well.

6 to 12-Year-Olds

Body Relaxation: Ask your child to lie on the floor and starting from their toes moving up to their head, have them tense their muscles for 5 seconds—squeezing as tightly as they can—before releasing again.

See, Hear, Smell: Encourage your child to tap into their senses by pausing for a moment and noticing exactly what they can see, hear and smell in that particular moment.

Mantra: Ask your child to pick a word and have them close their eyes and silently say the word over and over again. If they get distracted tell them to come back to the word. The word can be cat, dog, lion, etc.

Breathing Meditation: Have your child sit and ask them to put their attention on their breath, the inhale and the exhale. Ask them to identify where they feel the breath most clearly in the body (belly, chest, nose). Have that become their focus of attention. Saying to themselves, breathing in, breathing out. And when they get distracted, have them refocus back to their focus of attention and silently repeating breathing in, breathing out.

The beauty of meditation and mindfulness practice is that it is always available to you. There is nothing fancy you need to begin. All it takes is setting aside a few minutes within your children’s day to devote to one of the above activities. You could do snail breathing before breakfast, a body relaxation after lunch, or a back meditation before bed. Sharing these practices with your child will help you and them feel grounded in the present moment and more connected. For more inspiration, check out these meditation courses for parents.

Cynthia Kane is a certified meditation and mindfulness instructor and the founder of the Kane Intentional Communication Institute. She is the author of How to Communicate Like a BuddhistTalk to Yourself Like a Buddhist, and the upcoming book, How To Meditate Like A Buddhist

Having a baby in the NICU can be an emotional experience. Renata Freydin, a new mom who recently welcomed a son named Zayne at St. Peter’s University Hospital in New Brunswick, NJ, has been spending a lot of time in the NICU, bonding with her new baby. Freydin knew that her fiancé, David Caldwell, a preemie himself, was born in the same hospital in 1986, but she was shocked to find out that one of Zayne’s NICU nurses, Lissa McGowan, also took care of David 33 years ago.

In her now-viral Facebook post, Freydin wrote, “As many of you may know, our son was born 10 weeks early at St. Peter’s University Hospital and has been in the NICU ever since (he’s doing amazing, btw!). What some of you may not know is that his father — my amazing fiancé — was also born about six weeks early at the same hospital!”

NICU Nurse

Freydin and Caldwell were going through his old baby book to compare what he looked like as a baby to Zayne. As soon as Freydin saw the picture of McGowan, she recognized her immediately as one of her son’s nurses.

McGowan was amazed and surprised when Freydin brought the picture in to show her. They decided to recreate the photo to preserve this memory forever. Freydin wrote, “The past 2 weeks have been filled with worries and uncertainty but we can breathe easy knowing my lil nuggets nurse is the same one that helped the man I love when he was in the same situation.”

NICU Nurse

Freydin reports that Zayne is doing well and gaining weight. He is 5lbs 2oz now, and getting stronger day by day. 

—Jennifer Swartvagher

All photos courtesy of Renata Freydin

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With the birth of my second child, I thought I knew it all–I really thought that because I had done this before, I was going to be fine. 

But it wasn’t at all like going back and starting from the beginning. This time, mom guilt wasn’t about breastfeeding, it was about splitting my time between my two kids, my husband, and myself. I unexpectedly got hit with waves of sadness every time I went on social media that I stopped using it for eight months. My toddler entered a really challenging hitting phase and there were days when I felt like all I did was yell at him. 

Instead of giving my body time and grace, I got sad and frustrated. Work-life balance wasn’t even on my radar, I was struggling with life-life balance. I didn’t know how to conceptualize the line between living for me versus living for my family. And I really struggled to be present. I constantly worried about what had not yet happened. Which just lead me to live and breathe in my own stress.  

I gave it my all. And I forgot to give to myself.

That year I went to the ER four times–I had “couldn’t walk, couldn’t talk” stomach pains. The doctors kept attributing the aches to food poisoning. But to get food poisoning four times in seven months…something wasn’t right.

During one of my visits, my doctor asked me if I was stressed. I said, “No, not really.” She looked at me and politely asked me again. I paused and said, “A little, I guess.” And then she just let the silence settle and continued to kindly stare at me. Finally, I blurted, “Yes, yes I’m really stressed” and as I said it, I couldn’t help it…I started crying.

And then she did what I thought was the kindest thing she could have ever done, she sat down next to me and said: “Tell me about it”.  And then she listened. She listened as I told her how much I was struggling to be back at work, how stressed I was trying to pick the “best” preschool for my son. I told her how I wasn’t connecting with my husband and how raising the second child was nothing at all like raising the first. 

After a few minutes, she gave me one of those motherly smiles. The kind of smile that is tender and kind but poignantly says, ‘Have you put two and two together yet?’ 

To realize that all of the stress that I was carrying was directly correlated to my stomach pains—the fact that my body was physically breaking down from stress, that was a turning point for me. That was when I truly realized that I couldn’t care for anyone unless I took care of myself.

After a bit of time and a decent amount of counseling, I started taking time for me. Some days it was a walk alone. Other days it was baking. And some days it was just a long shower. I also sought something that would strengthen my body. I was raised to believe that a healthy heart starts with a healthy gut. So I went back to my roots, and as my mom had taught me, just as her mom had taught her—I turned to classic Chinese adaptogen herbs for nourishment. 

The combination of the two worked. Not immediately, and certainly not without setbacks, but I almost emerged as a new person, and therefore as a new mom. With motherhood, perspective is half the battle and I felt like I was truly starting anew. 

Mamas, we are dealing with some heavy things after birth. It’s okay to not be okay. But you need to find your way out. You aren’t helping anyone, least of all your family, by carrying the stress around with you. I know all you want is to be a “good” mom. I do, too. But trust me when I say that you already are and that the best moms take care of themselves, too.

It took the support of my family, mom friends, mom strangers, and a lot of google searches to realize motherhood isn’t once and done, even though that’s how society can make it feel. Describing motherhood as a journey is so overused it has little impact anymore, but make no mistake about it—motherhood is a journey. And like any venture you embark on, you need to make sure you are ready—mentally, emotionally and physically.

Joanna is the Founder & CEO of Rae's Roots. She was inspired to launch her company after having a difficult postpartum after having her second child. "I learned the hard way that you can't care for others until you first care for yourself. That is the foundation Rae's Roots is built upon."

As a mom, it can be hard to find the time for self-care but it’s vital to your wellbeing. Barbie is betting that teaching the importance of emotional wellbeing from an early age is the key to a lifelong habit with the new Barbie Wellness collection.

The new line introduces girls to the benefits of self-care through play. The Barbie Fashionistas are getting some important me-time with new dolls that meditate and enjoy a spa day. Barbie has also partnered with Headspace, a meditation and mindfulness app, to create content like videos of wellness practices on the Barbie YouTube channel. Keep scrolling to get a peak at the new lineup.

Barbie Fashionista Breathe with me Barbie

The Barbie Fashionista Breathe with me Barbie is dressed in comfy clothes and comes with a puppy and four cloud emojis to guide meditation. A button on Barbie's necklace activates one of five guided meditation exercises that use light and sound effects to inspire their own practice.

$19.99

Barbie Spa Doll

The Barbie Spa Doll has Barbie relaxing away with spa and bath products like a box of bath bombs, a candle, a rubber duck, a magazine and a cucumber eye mask for her puppy. Dogs need self-care too.

$14.99

Barbie Spa Day Fitness Doll

Massages and facials aren't the only self-care you can do at the spa, however. The Barbie Spa Day Fitness Doll is ready for action in a colorful exercise outfit, dumbbells and yoga mat.

$14.99

Barbie Wellness Dream Doll

The Barbie Wellness Dream Doll is ready for a restful evening in. She has a dream pillow and sleep mask with a matching set for her pup, as well as a journal and cup of hot cocoa.

$14.99

Barbie Fizzy Bath Bathtub

The collection also features three new playsets. The Barbie Fizzy Bath Bathtub comes with everything you need to give Barbie a fizzy bath, including five fizzy glitter packs that make the water bubble up.

$19.99

Barbie Spa Day Face Mask

The Barbie Spa Day Face Mask playset includes everything you need to give Barbie a fresh face. Kids can use a special marker to create blemishes on her face. The set also comes with three tubs of dough to create a special mask on Barbie's face which will magically remove the blemishes.

$29.99

Barbie Mani and Pedi

With the Barbie Mani and Pedi playset you can give Barbie colorful nails with the swipe of a special sponge or help her enjoy a fizzy foot bath.

$19.99

The entire Barbie Wellness collection will be available for purchase in Spring 2020.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

All photos: Courtesy of Mattel

 

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Advice & Encouragement for Busy Moms

It might be a new year, but for most, the new year brings the same amount of busyness. Juggling family commitments is a challenge for parents everywhere, but even more so for working moms.

As a working mom myself (and now grandma) for more than 30 years, I’ve learned some tricks to manage the madness of having a full career and family life. These tips helped me raise three kids while climbing the corporate ranks of Alberto Culver (a large beauty product conglomerate) all the way up to the position of Executive Chair of the board. I am a strong advocate for the important understanding that it is possible for career growth to coexist with a full family life and that working moms make great employees.

MAKING CHOICES & LEARNING TO SAY NO

The top lesson I learned is that you need to be okay with saying “no.” Everybody wants a competent person to take on more, but even the strongest people can break. Learn to say “no” and feel okay with it. Prioritize your responsibilities and pass on or delegate the nonessentials. And in those moments where you are overwhelmed, take a moment, hang on and breathe. And remember that it’s perfectly okay to say, “I’m a little overwhelmed right now.”

ROOM MOM

As a working mom, I found that one fun way to be a part of my kids’ classrooms was to be a “room mom.” I could provide the games and treats and take a couple half-days off to partake in special classroom happenings. My kids loved helping make the party bags or plan classroom activities with me and, frankly, it was a fun way to be a part of their school life. Plus, it let me avoid the politics that I found in some other PTO committees.

A MOM’S LEGACY

A tough reality to accept: Being a working mom means you have to miss a lot. We can never be at every concert, game, or field trip. But perhaps we leave a greater legacy:

  • A working mom teaches her daughter every day that being feminine is a good thing, but so is strength, independence and self-worth.

  • We raise our sons with the understanding that women are equals, that a mom can be a great cook, a business person and a respected partner in life and work.

  • Working moms make America’s workplaces better for all of us. The environment is a little kinder and more values-based when we carry our family values into the office. Smart companies realize how these values build a better workforce and give a powerful boost to sales and profits each and every day.

  • The path we forge will, we hope, make it easier for our daughters and granddaughters and build a place where our sons can be better men.

I urge you to remember these legacies when you feel those pangs of guilt. Let go of the image of the “perfect mom” who crushes it at the office, keeps a spotless home and always has dinner on the table by 7 p.m. It’s a myth. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if your home is super clean. Do the best you can and show your kids you love them. My philosophy is, if you love your kids, they’ll be okay. Love is pretty magical stuff.

Carol Lavin Bernick
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Carol Lavin Bernick is a former executive chairman of Alberto Culver, civic leader, working mother and philanthropist. She is the author of Gather As You Go, a collection of short, digestible stories that offer powerful lessons, key insights and helpful tips based on her life experiences.