ML Interest Tag: individuality

8 Changes You Should Never Make for Your Partner

By Fairygodboss Georgene Huang & Romy Newman, Founders

Photo: Pixabay

Managing a relationship is tough work. Sometimes you find yourself looking in the mirror one day and you’ve suddenly become someone else. Someone different. Relationships change us, but they shouldn’t change who you are fundementally or physically unless those are changes that you want for yourself.

Here are some parts of you that you should NEVER change because of someone else, and how to tell if you already, so you can stop.

1. Your st‌yle.

If you find yourself standing in the dressing room, looking in the mirror and wondering if your partner will like what they see, you’re doing it wrong. Unless you are out shopping for a special occasion, buy what makes you happy. While it’s nice to feel “noticed,” it’s also nice to feel like your st‌yle matches your personality.

2. Your friends.

When you start cutting friends out because of your partner, it’s a sure-fire indicator that something isn’t right here. No one that loves you would expect you to cut people that have been supportive of you out of your life. Watch out for this serious red flag.

3. Your relationship with your family.

Similar with friends, your family is your blood. If you are finding yourself spending less time with your family because they don’t get along with your partner, or your partner doesn’t like them… RUN. And find yourself someone you can enjoy with the people you love.

4. Your individuality.

The early stages of a relationship can turn you into a meshed ball of love and lust where one of you ends and the other begins. You do everything together, you can’t live without each other, and you certainly can’t (and don’t want to) be alone. But those days should fade over time as you settle into your relationship, and finding your individuality again should be top priority. You can’t love someone else fully if you literally cannot be without them.

5. Your religious beliefs.

If you feel strongly about science, but your new beau is a devout Christian, there should be boundaries. There is no reason why anyone should have to change the core pieces of them to match someone else just because they are together. You can have different views and still love each other for those views, respectfully. But if you find yourself missing church every Sunday because your boyfriend doesn’t appreciate your religion, you either need to have a serious convo about those boundaries, or you need to find someone with the same devotion to your church as you.

6. Your body.

If you are with someone who wants to change the way you look… GET OUT. Unless you are making a vow to get healthy or lose a few pounds because it’s something you want to do for YOU, then there is no reason why you should have to change your physical appearance to match what someone else has in mind. It’s your body. You need to be comfortable in your own skin. And if you are? The people who love you should not be trying to change you.

7. Your quirks.

Do you have a weird pillow you sleep with at night? Do you need to check the garage door twice before you leave the house? Whatever it is, it’s part of YOU. It makes you more comfortable and it’s one of your “things.” If the person you are with wants you to stop doing something not because it’s unhealthy or dangerous but because it bothers them? Then you have some serious thinking to do. What other things will they want to see you change later?

8. Your relationship expectations.

If you have #relationshipgoals and the person you are with fits very few of them, keep looking. Don’t settle for less than what you feel you deserve, because you absolutely do deserve it all. And you’re only doing yourself a disservice by sticking it out in a relationship that doesn’t meet your realistic expectations of what your partner should be.

It’s easy to get lost in “love,” especially in the beginning when everything is new, fresh and exciting. But eventually you find your way back to you. And if you don’t, it might be time to find yourself someone to spend your life with that doesn’t make you change who you are fundamentally. It’s hard enough work  trying to make a relationship work. Doing it while trying to become someone you’re not is exhausting and unfair.

– Nicole Pecoraro for Fairygodboss

Fairygodboss Georgene Huang & Romy Newman, Founders
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

As the largest career community for women, Fairygodboss provides millions of women with career connections, community advice and the hard-to-find intel about how companies treat women.

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So, Your Kid Needs Glasses—Now What? 5 Things Every Parent Should Know

By Laura Harrison

So, you just found out your child needs glasses. Whether you noticed signs early on with your child having trouble reading their homework or with vision problems playing their favorite sport, finally hearing the words from your child’s physician could be overwhelming. Where do you go first? What is the next step?

While this new journey may feel nerve-wracking and the to-dos feel countless, this next phase of life can also be exciting and a chance to show your kiddo that they’re about to view the world in a new and improved way with the help of their glasses. To help calm a few of your nerves, I want to share a few tips to help you navigate the new world of glasses as a parent who has experienced this first-hand and share the steps that helped me.

1. Visit your child’s optometrist to get their prescription—but don’t feel pressured to buy their glasses on the spot.

When you first find out that your child needs some specs, it’s normal to want to buy the first pair you see. While the doctor has a variety of options, don’t forget that there are also convenient ways for them to try on a few frames at home, making the process more comfortable and natural—and taking some of the pressure off of you!

We offer home try-on kits through Jonas Paul Eyewear because as parents with a child who wears glasses, we know trying glasses on in a strange place can be stressful for your child and for you. Give yourself and your child permission to take time with this decision and select the frames that will be best for them.

2. Approach this as a new adventure for your child and let them know this is what makes them special—not different.

Getting used to wearing glasses can be a bit tricky for a child, as they may seem unsure or skeptical of this new life change. Always remember that as a parent, you have the influence to make your child feel cool with their new accessory by complimenting them, while reminding them how it makes their vision better too!

3. Show them examples of some of their heroes, favorite characters or family members they look up to rocking the glasses look.

While many children may be questioning what glasses mean for them, you can remind your kiddo of all their heroes who wear them too! Maybe they want to be just like their favorite aunt or Harry Potter. Reminding them of this can boost their self-esteem and make them more excited to rock their new look!

4. Encourage your little ones to express their individuality with the frames and st‌yle they choose.

We know that giving your kids the autonomy to decide how they’d like to dress is such an empowering tool.  Just like we, as adults, have our own st‌yle, our kids do too! Motivating your little one to choose the st‌yle or color of glasses that makes them feel more comfortable or fashionable will not only boost their confidence but will also give them a chance to express their individuality.

5. Work with your child to create a new routine with their new glasses.

This new pair of glasses will need to be incorporated into your child’s morning and bedtime routine—and even more activities if they play a sport. If you’re having troubles with your kiddo remembering or wanting to put on their new glasses, find fun ways to integrate it into their routines.

Maybe you can sing a fun song together every morning about brushing your teeth, combing your hair and putting on your glasses—or maybe it’s just about finding or DIYing a special case just for their awesome new glasses. This will not only encourage and your remind your kids to wear their glasses, but will help associate a fun routine to putting them on every day.

Finally, always remember to encourage yourself too! While this is a big change in your child’s life, they couldn’t do it without you, your encouragement and your guidance. Once they get used to wearing glasses, you will be able to look back at what a formative time this was for them with you right by their side.

Laura, co-founder and COO of Jonas Paul Eyewear, started the brand with her husband shortly after their first child, Jonas, was born with a rare-eye condition. From there, Jonas Paul Eyewear was created with the mission of creating stylish eyewear and providing sight to children in need with every purchase.

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My Rule for Raising Siblings: What You Do For One, You Do for the Other

By Courtney Myers

On any given day, my son has about four little nail marks on his cheek. They’re given to him by his sister, older by 23 months. She, likewise, has a tiny scratch on her chin from the day last week that she tried to take away his beloved stuffed bird but he was quicker. They spat like cats and dogs but melt into a giant hug puddle immediately afterward, making my heart do the very same thing.

I wasn’t sure how I’d manage having two so close in age, but it’s ended up being the sweetest journey. As I tend to do, I’ve looked to my own mama for examples, advice and wisdom along the way. She raised three kids who all, somehow, ended up not only loving each other, but really liking each other, too. We all live within a three-mile radius and see each other at least a few times a week.

When I asked my mom how she did it, she looked at me and replied simply, “I always followed one rule: What you do for one, you do for the other.”

Looking back, I can see where that lesson was applied throughout my entire life. I rarely received a compliment from her that wasn’t followed by a praise for my brother and sister as well. If one of us got new school shoes, the whole gang did. If one of us was allowed to bring a friend to the beach, we ended up bringing three friends total. There was never any rivalry or competition for her and dad’s attention. They gave it to us freely, equally.

So, I’ve been trying to implement the same practice with my own two, young children. My son just turned two years old last month. We threw him a very small, modest backyard cookout with family and a few close friends. My daughter, on the other hand, is turning four this year and is really into outer space.

I spent hours researching themed birthday parties online, pinned to a million inspiration boards and heavily considered renting a space-themed bounce house for her big celebration. Then, I remembered my son’s birthday party, where we just cooked hot dogs and ate cupcakes under the shade trees, and how it would pale in comparison to her extravaganza.

In the end, I decided to nix the grand affair and keep hers simple as well. Maybe next year we’ll bust out the pinatas for both parties, buy a bunch of swag, and hire two magicians or something crazy like that.

For now, I’m sticking close to the idea that raising assured, confidence siblings starts with not making either of them fight for your attention or devotion. That means I often have to stop myself when I start to say things like “Look at how good your brother is eating. Why can’t you do that?” or “Your sister knows her ABCs. When will you learn yours?” They’ll come around on their own time, in their own unique way that’s unlike anyone else.

As their mother, it’s not my job to encourage them to be like each other. I have two wildly different, incredibly special kids and I want to foster that individuality as much as I can.

My main job, as I parent them through toddlerhood, adolescence and beyond, is to remind them that regardless of their differences, irrespective of everything that separates them or drives them away from each other, there’s one uniting force that’s stronger than any dissimilarity: their mama’s unconditional, undying, all-encompassing love.
Featured Photo Courtesy: Eye for Ebony via Unsplash

Hi, y'all! I'm Courtney. I'm a mama of two, married to my high-school sweetheart and making a life in the little town I grew up in. I'm a writer by trade, but a mama by heart. I love chocolate and I love family. Let's navigate this crazy, messy, blessed journey together! 

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Target’s Opalhouse Lookbook Is Finally Here & All We Can Say Is, WOW

by Erica Loop

As if you weren’t already excited enough for the grand debut of this new home décor line, Target’s new Opalhouse lookbook is out—and you’re going to loooooove it! Opalhouse, Target’s new home brand, is set to launch Apr. 8. And with more than 1,300 pieces, this line is something that you absolutely, positively cannot miss.

The Opalhouse lookbook includes everything from their Indochic French-Vietnamese fusion pieces that are awesomely elegant and packed with jewel tones, the organic look of Canyon Sunrise and the contrasting colors of Mallorca. The new line includes absolutely everything from bedding and bath items to furniture, home décor, kitchen/dining and patio/garden options.

Target’s executive vice president and chief merchandising officer, Mark Tritton, said in a press release, “Opalhouse is another perfect example of how Target offers guests incredible design and great quality at a truly unbeatable value. That’s something you can only find at Target.”

Tritton goes on to add, “With the addition of Opalhouse, out guests will have access to more aesthetics than ever, giving them the opportunity to discover items that reflect their individuality and style, bringing joy to their homes in an easy affordable way.”

Yay! We so can’t wait.

What’s your home décor style? Share your thoughts on design with us in the comments below.

—Erica Loop

Photos: Target

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Gwen Stefani & Nickelodeon Team Up to Create Kids’ Show “Kuu Kuu Harajuku”

by Red Tricycle

 

Photo: harajukuworld via Instagram

Musician and mother of three Gwen Stefani has collaborated with Nickelodeon to create Kuu Kuu Harajuku, an animated series focusing on a group of girls — Love, Angel, Music, Baby, and their leader G, and their adventures in the Harajuku world. “Partnering with Nickelodeon on Kuu Kuu Harajuku is a dream come true!” Gwen says to People Magazine. “I love that this is an animated series for young girls that celebrates creativity, imagination and individuality.”

Kuu Kuu Harajuku premieres on Nickelodeon Monday, Oct. 3, at 4 p.m. ET/PT.

Photo: Nick.com

Do you secretly want to watch Kuu Kuu Harajuku with your little? Let us know in the comments below!

H/T: People Magazine

 

 

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Buy Local: Handmade Gifts Made by Seattle’s Craftiest Moms

by Allison Sutcliffe

Pinterest revolutionized crafty pursuits for the masses. But these moms put the economics in Home Economics, by turning their talents into cottage industries that produce inspired products for moms and kids we adore. You know what else we love? When you shop with these moms you get the “think global, act local” seal of approval this holiday season (bye bye, big box stores!). So flip through to meet some of Seattle’s craftiest moms and get ready to shop, shop, shop!

Christina Collins-Pezner

It only took a trip to Italy (back in 2008) to convince Christina Collins-Pezner to try her hand at upcycled clothing for kids. A short time later, Ricicili (Italian for “recycle”) was born! Over the last 5 years, Christina has turned her idea into a full time at-home business that breathes new life into old clothes. Taking bits and pieces from used clothing found at thrift stores and textile salvaging programs, her creations are 99.9% recycled (even the buttons and lace come from old pieces!). And each piece promotes individuality 100% of the time. Most recently, Christina’s partnered with Eileen Fisher to design kid’s clothes for the new Green Eileen store in Columbia City (one of only two in the country!). This partnership is just another way Christina continues to uphold the values of downsizing, reusing and creating from something that would otherwise be lost. Three cheers for super adorable sustainability!

Find it: You can find Christina’s upcycled duds at the Urban Craft Uprising in December and at these Seattle area stores. Or find her on Facebook.

Can’t get enough hand-made crafts?
Be sure to check out the etsyRAIN Handmade Holiday Show the last weekend in November. Entrance is free and a few of our featured moms will be there. Then, head over to the Urban Craft Uprising the following weekend, at the Seattle Center Exhibition Hall, where you’ll see a few more of our featured moms, alongside 150 other local artists!

Looking for shops that carry locally made products?
Check out Nearby Registry, an awesome new site that launched in Seattle this summer. Nearby Registry highlights local, independent stores and non-profits that carry locally made crafts and products. What a great way to invest in our local Seattle community!

Do you know of a crafty mom who isn’t on our list? Let others know about her in a comment below.

–Allison Sutcliffe

Photos thanks to: Claudina Valcarlos, Jen Boyer, Claudia Cerrato, Chris Clark Photography, Katie Rust, Christina Collins-Pezner, and Leah Adams

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Perezitos: Celebs and Their Kids

by Erin Lem

Perez Hilton spawned a new website recently just in time to feed our need to see what all those celebs and their kids are up to. Perez’s new website, Perezitos is all about famous moms and dads plus their tots. The snarky comments have been mostly replaced with sweet comments and celebrity news. We like this new take on Celeb-mania, and the seemingly kinder, gentler Perez.

Perezitos goes hand in hand with the release in September of Perez Hilton’s first children’s book, The Boy With Pink Hair. This brightly illustrated children’s book celebrates individuality and self-acceptance, and is inspired by Hilton’s desire to promote equality in readers of all ages. Perez says, ” This story is about every kid that’s ever had a dream, felt excluded, wanted to belong, and hoped that one day they could do what they loved and make a difference.” Aww! We’re right there with you Perez!

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