What parent hasn’t resorted to some Elmo or Bluey time when faced with a squirmy one-year-old on an airplane or waiting for a never-on-time pediatrician? It’s inevitable. But a study looking at the impact of screen time on sensory processing has found that less is more when it comes to little kids and screens. “[E]arly-life television or video exposure was associated with atypical sensory processing in low registration, sensation seeking, sensory sensitivity, and sensation avoiding,” according to JAMA Pediatrics.
The study followed 1,471 children, half male and half female, and measured their viewing of television or video at 12 months, 18 months, and 24 months of age. This was followed up with a measure of sensory processing at around 33 months, when caregivers filled out surveys about each toddler’s reaction to sensory inputs like lights, textures, and noises.
Babies who watched any television or videos at 12 months of age were twice as likely to experience challenges in processing sensory information appropriately, as compared with their peers. At 18 months, kids with higher levels of screen exposure were found to have both difficulties in processing sensory information as well as a higher motivation to avoid sensory exposure. By 24 months, the researchers saw higher screen time linked to sensation seeking, sensory sensitivity, and sensation-avoiding behaviors.
This comes on the heels of another recent study linking screen time to developmental delays in children. However, the causal relationship between screen time and these negative developmental and sensory outcomes can’t be proven at this time. “Further research is needed to understand the relationship between screen time and specific sensory-related developmental and behavioral outcomes, and whether minimizing early-life exposure can improve subsequent sensory-related outcomes,” says the JAMA Pediatrics study. It’s also important to gather more updated data, since this research started a decade ago when kids were more likely to be watching TV or DVDs rather than tablets or mom’s phone.
“Considering this link between high screen time and a growing list of developmental and behavioral problems, it may be beneficial for toddlers exhibiting these symptoms to undergo a period of screen time reduction, along with sensory processing practices delivered by occupational therapists,” lead author Dr. Karen Heffler, an associate professor of psychiatry in Drexel’s College of Medicine, said in a statement.
Now, we know what some of you may be thinking: Oh great, another study telling me I’m messing up and can’t rely on screen time? But even study researchers wouldn’t take that away from you. The bottom line is if you think you’re relying on TV time a bit too heavily, try to dial it back. And make sure you mix in lots of family time playing with your baby face to face, showing them lots of emotions and expressions, reading to them, and engaging with toys. It’s all about balance.
No parent has the time or energy to entertain their kids all the time—that’s a tall order, especially when you’re dealing with toddlers. That’s where movie nights (or mornings, or afternoons) come into play. And while the screen-time guilt is real, not all films are created equally, so we came up with a list of the best movies for toddlers that offer simple, valuable lessons about friendship, teamwork, and kindness. The plots are straightforward, and the visuals, dialogue, and songs are all engaging enough to hold your toddler’s limited attention. So throw on one of these family-friendly flicks and cuddle up with your budding cinephile (or use this time to get some chores done). We know they’ll be a hit. (Curious about which films to watch when they get a bit older? We’ve got those, too.)
Naked Mole Rat Gets Dressed: An Underground Rock Experience
Fashion has never been more fun, as an adorable mole rat named Wilbur discovers the joy of clothing, much to the dismay of his community who would never dare not to go bare. When his bandmates in the Mole-ing Stones discover his sartorial secret, they want to turn him over to authorities only to receive a surprising serving of justice.
Where it’s streaming: HBO Max
Why it’s great for toddlers: Aside from the catchy tunes to rock out to, kids will learn–and adults will be reminded–to embrace self-expression and the things they love, despite what others might say. The story telling is top notch as it’s penned by former Sesame Street writer Mo Willems.
Travel to Colombia and meet the Madrigals, a multi-generational family living in a magical home that bestows powers on all its inhabitants—well, everyone except Mirabel. Feeling lost and confused over not being blessed with a special gift, Mirabel searches for a purpose, and finds one after discovering that her familial home is in danger of losing its magic.
Where it’s streaming: Disney+
Why it’s great for toddlers: Colorful, musical and magical are just a few adjectives to describe this Disney instant classic. Be prepared to listen to pretty much every song on repeat (Lin-Manual Miranda's tunes have reached "Let It Go" status). Some themes might be a little tricky for young minds to grasp (namely feeling inadequate and like an outcast), but overall kids will learn to believe in themselves and their abilities and that families can work together to overcome obstacles.
When koala Buster Moon is faced with the deterioration of a theater he runs, he comes up with an ingenious idea, a singing competition. The competitors are all animals, each with their own personality and unique voice (think a stay-at-home pig who desperately needs something for herself, a stage-shy elephant with an incredible voice, and a gorilla hoping to make his own way in the world). The film’s characters are voiced by Matthew McConaughey, Reese Witherspoon, and Seth MacFarlane, among others.
Where is it streaming: Amazon Prime, Hulu (with Live TV)
Why it’s great for toddlers: Parents and kids will notice popular songs that are featured on playlists and the radio, and many toddlers may even be able to sing along with the adorable animal characters. Lessons on believing in yourself, the importance of friendly competition, and supporting others will please parents who can help younger viewers pick up on these themes throughout the film.
Your kids’ top rescue crew returns in this sequel to PAW Patrol: The Movie. This time around, a meteor crash lands in Adventure City and magically gives Chase and his friends superpowers. After learning that a meteor-obsessed mad scientist named Victoria Vance wants to steal their powers for villainous means, the crew jumps into action to do what they do best: save the day.
Where it’s streaming: Paramount+
Why it’s great for toddlers: It’s filled with a cast of familiar characters that your tot already loves, and stays true to the PAW Patrol formula. That being said, there are a lot of action sequences that result in loud noises and characters being in peril, so some children might find it distressing. In addition to themes of teamwork and perseverance, tiny patroller Skye shines as she reminds kids that even the smallest pups can make a huge difference.
When clownfish Marlin’s young son Nemo gets captured, he goes on an animated adventure across the ocean to find him. Marlin gets some help from absent-minded fish Dory, meets some laid-back turtles, and escapes the clutches of hungry seagulls in this well-loved film that debuted 20 years ago.
Where it's streaming: Disney+
Why it’s great for toddlers: Toddlers can learn about ocean life in a fun and colorful way, while also picking up positive lessons on friendship and the importance of family. Parents should note that some of the predator fish may frighten very young viewers.
In what feels like a magical mashup of Finding Nemo and The Little Mermaid, a five-year-old boy rescues Ponyo, a goldfish princess. Liam Neeson, Matt Damon, Tina Fey, and Betty White lend their voices to this animated fantasy film helmed by master filmmaker, Hayao Miyazaki.
Where it's streaming: HBO Max
Why it’s great for toddlers: The colorful and simplistic animation in the film will draw toddlers in and keep them captivated for the nearly two-hour runtime. Ecofriendly messages will also appeal to parents.
The famous and timeless bear goes on an unexpected adventure with his friends. They must rescue his human friend, Christopher Robin whom they believe has been taken by a horrible monster called the Backson.
Where it's streaming: Disney+, Amazon Prime
Why it’s great for toddlers: This timeless classic focuses on some of the sweetest and most caring bonds of friendship, and the Pooh gang are examples of positive role models who are selfless and kind. Young viewers will also delight in the songs and the simplicity of the story.
Everyone’s favorite Irish birds have finally soared to the big screen in this adventurous tale filled with the same level of charm the hit series is known for. With an ominous storm brewing off the coast of Puffin Rock, Oona, Baba and a flock of new friends race against time to find a missing puffling egg.
Where it’s streaming: Apple TV
Why it’s great for toddlers: Just like the series, important lessons are gently delivered for young minds so as not to overwhelm them. While the importance of teamwork to reach a goal is front and center, the topic of climate change and its ripple effect on communities is explored in a way that little minds can start to understand.
Canine Blue gets her first feature-film musical adventure complete with song and dance numbers. Instead of placing Blue in an animated world, as the television series does, the film finds Blue and her human companion Josh in a very real and vibrant New York City. They are heading to an audition for a Broadway show and need help from passersby and viewers when they get lost.
Where it's streaming: Paramount+
Why it’s great for toddlers: The songs are engaging, and toddlers will want to dance and sing along. With the same format as the television show, young viewers can follow the paw print clues right along with Blue and Josh, involving toddlers in the journey. Parents will also enjoy the message that dreams can come true and may find seeing previous hosts Steve and Joe a nostalgic bonus.
Flipping the tale of Bigfoot around, this flick sees a lovable yeti named Migo come face-to-face with the mythical creature Smallfoot, aka a human. Unfortunately, no one believes him. So with his friends by his side, Migo leaves the grounds of his village to see what other wonders might exist in the world.
Where it’s streaming: HBO Max
Why it’s great for toddlers: Simply said, yetis are cool! And Channing Tatum does a great job making Migo so likable that you can’t help but root for him. That being said, just a head’s up that there is some tension and mild fighting between humans and yetis whenever they meet. Oh, and the soundtrack is also stacked with sing-along friendly tunes by Zendaya and James Cordon.
Pixar’s uplifting adventure tale is still flying high 15 years after its initial release. After making a promise to his late wife, elderly widower Carl ties thousands of balloons to his house in order to fly to South America. En route, he discovers an adorable stowaway, nine-year-old Russell, a young "Wilderness Explorer" scout who has come along for the ride. The unlikely travel buddies meet a cast of colorful characters along their journey as they work together to overcome some dubious forces that threaten to keep them from reaching their final destination.
Where it’s streaming: Disney+
Why is it great for toddlers? They’ll learn to embrace new adventures from Carl and Russell and you’ll be reminded how much this movie makes you cry. While the film deals with grief and loss, the non-stop action and silly moments are enough to entertain your kiddo if you’re not ready to or have other plans to broach this subject.
The Daniel Tiger Movie: Won't You Be Our Neighbor
PBS
Daniel and the whole Tiger clan welcome a new family to the neighborhood with the hopes of making them feel welcome. Daniel hopes to find a new friend. If kids like this movie, they can also watch Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood: Tiger Family Trip
Where it's streaming: Amazon Prime
Why it’s great for toddlers: Based on the characters from the PBS television series, Daniel Tiger is a positive role model who provides kids with a fun way to learn some valuable lessons surrounding friendship and kindness. He also teaches young kids basic social skills and problem-solving with simple language in terms they can understand. Daniel also speaks directly to kids.
A flashy new toy space ranger named Buzz threatens old-school cowboy action figure Woody, who fears the young boy whose bedroom he shares no longer wants him. This film, the first in the iconic franchise, features several toys like Mr. Potato Head, toy soldiers, and a piggy bank coming to life when the child who owns them isn’t around.
Where is it streaming: Disney+
Why it’s great for toddlers: Parents can share some of their own childhood memories through the cast of classic toy characters they may have played with growing up, including a toy tape recorder, an Etch A Sketch, a barrel of monkeys, a troll doll, and the Magic 8Ball. Toddlers will also delight in the idea of toys magically coming to life. Parents should know that some words may not be suitable for toddlers, including ‘shut up’ and ‘idiot.’ There are also some darker moments where toys get hurt or do mildly scary things to protect themselves.
Things get interesting at Mossy Bottom Farm when a space alien shows up, but she isn’t there to take over the world. Will Shaun and the gang be able to get her back to her own planet before she is captured by a nefarious organization?
Where is it streaming: Netflix
Why it’s great for toddlers: Young viewers will delight at the simplicity of the dialogue, which is just a series of expressive sounds. Parents will appreciate the lessons surrounding inclusion and friendship that they can share with their kids as they watch.
Young bee Barry B. Benson, who just graduated college, wants to do more than become a part of the hive in this comedy starring Jerry Seinfeld. He befriends a human and realizes he may have a great purpose other than honey-making. Some A-list stars lend their voices to the film including Oprah Winfrey, Chris Rock, and Kathy Bates.
Where it's streaming: Netflix
Why it’s great for toddlers: This family friendly movie lets parents enjoy the comedy of Jerry Seinfeld while their toddlers can easily follow the story. The movie also has great lessons about teamwork and unique relationships, like the one between Barry and Vanessa. After watching the film, parents can follow up with an educational lesson on how bees really make honey.
With all his friends in the Hundred Acre Wood busy preparing for winter, a lonely Tigger decides to go on an epic journey to find members in his family tree. After a few roadblocks along the way, his search comes to a surprising and heartfelt end as Pooh, Roo, Piglet and co. rally around their bouncy friend to remind him of the true meaning of family.
Where it’s streaming: Disney+
Why it’s great for toddlers: Youngsters will learn that families come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and how true friends will be there for you no matter what. Parents will also love the nostalgia of seeing A.A. Milne’s iconic characters up to their old tricks.
With a modern look, the Peanuts gang gets its very own film. Parents will enjoy seeing the loveable characters from their youth embark on new adventures as Charlie Brown tries to go from a loveable loser to someone who can impress the new girl.
Where it's streaming: Disney+
Why it’s great for toddlers: The movie clocks in with a runtime of just 93 minutes, making it short enough to sustain young viewers' attention. It also touches on important themes like friendship and self-esteem, and almost all of the characters are voiced by actual child actors instead of adult Hollywood stars.
This '90s film will bring many parents back to childhood. Babe, the title character, proves he is more than just an average pig (His talents include the ability to herd sheep.). This children’s classic won an Academy Award and garnered multiple nominations, including one for Best Picture.
Where is it streaming: Amazon Prime, Apple TV
Why it’s great for toddlers: Young viewers will enjoy the various farm animal characters, especially the tiny mouse chorus, which adds a musical element to the film. It also gives kids a chance to see farm life from the perspective of the animals.
PAW Patrol: The Movie
Courtesy Spin Master
Ryder and his crew must step up when infamous cat-lover and troublemaker Mayor Humdinger causes chaos in Adventure City. The rescue pups even have a new friend, Liberty, a delightful dachshund.
Where is it streaming: Paramount+
Why it’s great for toddlers: Toddlers will be excited to see their favorite pups from the television series in this animated feature-length adventure. The engaging storyline and introduction of new vehicles and rescues will keep them on the edge of their seats.
In this 2006 film, race car superstar Lightning McQueen gets sidelined in the small community of Radiator Springs while on his way to a big event. While not happy about it at first, Lightning begins to realize that there is more to life than racing and stardom, and he may have found it in the small town with its eclectic cast of characters. Young viewers can catch Cars 2 and Cars 3 if they love the first film.
Where it's streaming: Disney+
Why it’s great for toddlers: The lessons surrounding winning and the value of friendship are important ones that parents can explore with their kids as they watch the film. The colorful animation and cast of characters will keep even the youngest viewers entertained. Parents should note that there is some mild language in the film such as hell.
After a loud noise rocks the Hundred Acre Wood, Pooh and friends go in search of the culprit. After learning that it might have been caused by a heffalump–a “dangerous” creature–the crew decides to try and catch one. After being left behind, Roo goes on his own adventure and comes across an adorable heffalump called Lumpy. They band together to prove to everyone that the heffalumps don't deserve their bad reputation.
Where it’s streaming: Disney+
Why it’s great for toddlers: It’s been nearly 20 years since this movie hit the big screen and sadly its lessons are still needed today, namely never to judge a book by its cover. Apart from teachings on friendship and acceptance, kids will love its adventurous nature and sweet characters.
The beloved children’s book comes to life as the always-curious monkey George is taken from Africa to New York City for the adventure of a lifetime. Of course, your fave primate gets into a whole lot of mischievous behavior alongside his museum-employee pal, aka The Man With the Yellow Hat. After learning that the museum owner’s son wants to turn the educational building into a parking lot, the duo team up to do everything they can to stop that from happening.
Where it’s streaming: Hulu
Why it’s great for toddlers: Watching George being clumsy and silly always leads to laughs, while parents will enjoy hearing the familiar voices of comedy legends like Will Ferrell, Eugene Levy and Dick Van Dyke. And of course, at the heart of this film is the message to always embrace and explore curiosity, which is so important for developing minds.
One Big Ocean
Based on the educational PBS preschool series, the film features characters Splash and Bubbles leaving their home and heading out into the vast ocean. They meet many types of ocean creatures and explore a variety of topics.
Where is it streaming: Amazon Prime
Why it’s great for toddlers: Educational concepts such as biodiversity and migration are presented in a way that young viewers can understand. The colorful characters, ocean environment, and fun songs will keep toddlers entertained as they learn valuable lessons about unity and the importance of caring for our undersea world.
A rare macaw named Blu decides to leave behind the comfort of his Minnesota home and head to Rio de Janeiro after meeting Jewel. Jewel, another rare macaw, is different than the domesticated Blu. Their differences lead to adventures neither of them ever imagined. The film features the voices of Jesse Eisenberg, Anne Hathaway, and Neil Patrick Harris.
Where it's streaming: Hulu, Disney+
Why it’s great for toddlers: Rio is filled with vibrant colors, positive messages, and role models, including the independent female Jewel. The catchy music in the film will also hold the attention of toddlers. There is some mild language like ‘idiot’ and ‘shut up,’ a few scary characters, and some scantily-clad people at Carnival.
Remy, a rat, wants nothing more than to become a great chef. When he finds himself living under a fancy Parisian restaurant, the culinary scene will be forever changed. The characters are voiced by some of the funniest names in comedy including Patton Oswalt, Will Arnett, Brad Garrett, and Janeane Garofalo.
Where it's streaming: Disney+
Why it’s great for toddlers: With an interesting plot, plenty of humor, and colorful animation, the film will appeal to toddlers and parents. Parents should be aware that some scenes may be a bit intense for younger viewers, especially one featuring a gun-wielding granny.
The Muppets Take Manhattan
Sony Pictures
In this classic 1980s film featuring Jim Henson’s muppets, Kermit the Frog and his friends graduate from college and head to Manhattan to take Broadway by storm with their new show. Once they get to the Big Apple, they realize things aren’t so simple and showbiz is tougher than they could have imagined.
Where is it streaming: Paramount+, Amazon Prime
Why it’s great for toddlers: Young viewers will enjoy the cute and funny muppets, each with a unique personality. They will also love the musical dance numbers peppered throughout the film. Parents should know that the film does feature some adult humor and smoking.
You’re excited about your destination. The journey to get there—maybe not so much. But before you start writing preemptive apology letters to your fellow airplane passengers, try some of these genius airplane hacks to keep your brood calm, happy, and organized on even thelongest of flights. From where to sit on the plane to how to pack so you can whip out the right stuff at the right time (Hello, emergency lollipops!), here are the best travel and packing tips for your next flight.
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1. Get TSA PreCheck status to breeze through security. True, some airports will whisk families through security to help weary moms and dads get through the lines without having to tame tantrums or retrieve runaway kiddos—but it’s not a guarantee. To help make sure your wait in the security line is a quick one, apply for TSA PreCheck status, which lets you and your kids breeze through security a little faster (PreChecked travelers use a separate line and don’t need to remove their shoes or belts nor remove liquids, laptops or light jackets). Children under 13 can use the TSA PreCheck lane when traveling with a parent or guardian who has the indicator on their boarding pass. Even better? It only costs $85 for five years.
Insider Tip: Make sure to apply for PreCheck status at least two weeks before your flight, then add your “Known Traveler Number” to your reservation.
2. Fly on a Tuesday or Wednesday. According to air travel experts, Tuesdays and Wednesdays are the least popular days to fly—which means not only could you get a better deal on your flight, but you may end up with a free seat next to you in the air. In contrast, Sundays are the most expensive, according to TravelFreak.com.
3. Pre-order meals and snacks. Every parent knows it takes something as simple as, “Sorry, we ran out of the Pirate’s Booty” to send a cranky kid into a hangry downward spiral. To avoid this in-air calamity, pre-order any onboard snacks (besides the ones you pack) ahead of time. Most airlines will let you do this within two weeks of your flight, allowing you to prepay for meals or snacks so that you’re guaranteed your food of choice even if you’re sitting in the last row to be served (most airlines even have kids meals, which reportedly taste way better than their grown-up counterparts).
Insider Tip: To reserve meals, go to the “Manage My Booking” section for your flight and find the option for meals and snacks.
4. Sit up front if you’re worried about motion sickness—and the back if you’re potty training. If you’ve got a kid who gets queasy easily, sitting at the front of the plane or between the wings is your best bet since this is the most stable part of the airplane. The back seats, by contrast, will be the bumpiest when the air gets choppy. That said, if you’ve got a kid who’s new to the potty, choose a seat in the back, so you’re close to the lavatory. Sitting in the rear of the aircraft also means you’re within easy reach of in-flight amenities (you can usually get cups of water or seconds on snacks), and you’ll have a bit of room to stretch your legs if you need to rock a nearly-snoozing child.
5. Use packing cubes to grab-and-go. When your wiggly tot needs to get to the bathroom, pronto, digging through your carry-on to find diapers and wipes need to be a lightning-fast feat. To prep for this inevitable moment, use a clear packing cube to make an easy-to-grab potty kit that you can whisk out of your carry-on the moment you see your wee one wiggling. Packing cubes are also great for separating snacks, spare clothes, toys, and other items you’ll need to grab at a moment’s notice. Try these EZPacking Cubes for clear plastic pouches or these compression mesh cubes that let you squish your stuff down to fit it all in.
Insider Tip: Bring extra Ziploc bags in case you need a place to put soiled or wet clothes.
6. Use a blow-up footrest to make naps happen.This blow-up footrest lets your little ones lay flat (if they’re small enough) or put their feet up to get cozy. It also works to keep toys and crayons from falling to the floor since it takes up almost all of the space in front of the seat. Blowing it up can be a little tedious—you use your mouth or a pump (sold separately)—but once it’s inflated, your tot will be the envy of your seatmates. Buy it here.
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7. Use a phone wallet for easy access to travel documents and credit cards. When you’re shuffling kids through security, keeping all of your travel documents easily accessible is a must. So carry your phone and your credit cards in one of these wearable “phone wallets” so you can whip out your tickets and pay for snacks without needing to open your purse. Not only that, but you’ll be able to quickly snap a photo or hand over Youtube Kids at a moment’s notice. Win-win!
8. Use busy boxes to keep kids entertained without screens. Sure, you can hand over your phone and let kids veg out the whole flight, but if your kids are too young for marathon TV sessions or you want to occupy them for a few minutes without a screen—airplane busy boxes are a fun way to pass the time. Make them yourself by filling a pencil case with a variety of small toys and games suitable for your child, or head to Etsy and buy one, made-to-order. Stellar seller 2Plus3EqualsWe makes magical ones that can be personalized with your child’s name.
Insider Tip: Don’t show them to your kids until you’re up in the air!
9. “Surprise Eggs” are your friends. If the wild success of YouTube channels like Ryan’s World is any indication, simply opening a toy is almost more fun than playing with it. So bring along wrapped or boxed toys that your child can “unbox” while in flight. It can be as simple as filling plastic Easter eggs with tiny toys from the Dollar Store or buying pre-made kits online, like this 30 toy-filled eggs set on Amazon. Our choice: “Surprise Balls” like Mini Brands Toys (which come with tiny replicas of popular toys and are gender-neutral) take at least 15-20 minutes to unwrap, open, and explore, and they’re relatively small to toss in your carry-on. Keep them a secret, then hand them over when your kids get fidgety.
Insider Tip: Bring Play-Doh for kids to stick to the tray table—it works great for anchoring small toys in place!
10. Listen to Stories. There are only so many books you can bring to read to your child on a plane. So leave the storytelling to this genius little gadget that makes it easy for kids to listen to stories or songs without needing to know how to read the controls. All they have to do is slide the sturdy story card into the slot and push a button. Content cards range from Disney faves like Frozen and Spider-Man to kid-lit classics like The MagicTreehouse and Ramona Quimby. There are even cards that let you record your voice so you can read a story, sing a song, or just talk to your child and they can listen to your voice on demand.
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11. Bring triangular crayons. Coloring is a no-brainer way to help pass the time on a long flight. To keep crayons from slipping and sliding off of the fold-down tray, bring triangle-shaped ones that will lay flat.
12. Tether important toys. Your kid won’t travel without her favorite lovey, but you know that doll is bound to end up on the dirty airplane floor. What’s a parent to do? Strap one of these handy tethers onto your kids’ important items to keep them from falling onto the ground (or getting lost). Note: You can attach one end to your child’s wrist (or yours) if you can’t find any other place to loop it.
13. Check the car seat. Don’t feel like lugging your toddler’s car seat but need something more than the airplane seatbelt to keep your little wiggler in place? Try this airplane hack that uses a safety harness that straps onto the airplane seat to create the same sort of five-point harness your child is used to, without the bulk. Because it holds the child’s chest area as well as the waist—the same way a car seat seatbelt does—the FlySafe harness can help restless kids fall asleep more easily on a plane. It is designed for kids that weigh 22-44 pounds and is small enough to fit in your purse.
14. Use a folding travel desk to keep things within reach. If your child likes to draw or craft her way through a long flight, a fold-out desk like this one is the perfect way to keep all those art supplies within reach and off the airplane floor. There are pockets for all the things your child needs, and it folds up easily for easy carrying to and from your destination. It also works to cover that infamously dirty tray table.
15. Roll your child through the airport. When you’re rushing to make a flight and you don’t want to worry about your child toddling into restricted areas or making a beeline for the airport store, this strap-on child seat fits on the back of your rolling luggage and lets your kid cruise right along with your carry-on. It works with children up to 50 pounds and attaches to any 20-24″ rolling suitcase. Want something a little more sophisticated? Micro’s Luggage Eazy has a built-in kid seat on the top of its roller case so you can zip through the terminal in style.
16. Get a seat with a bassinet for long-haul flights. Did you know most international flights offer bassinets that attach to the wall of the front row in coach? It’s true… and it’s amazing! To secure one of the few seats on the plane that offer this perk, book your seats way ahead of time by calling the airline directly and requesting the bassinet seats. The bassinets make a great napping and tummy time space and are available for babies up to about a year (though age and weight limits vary per airline). Check out this post from FlyingwithaBaby, which compares bassinet seats (and rules for them) for almost all major airlines.
17. Bring pain relief, just in case. The last thing you want when you’ve just reached cruising altitude is to hear the sad wail from your little one that can only mean one thing: something hurts. To help any in-flight ouchies (such as ear pain, which is common during the winter when kids have constant stuffiness), bring a bottle of infant or child Tylenol or Advil (plus the measuring cup that comes with it), just in case.
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18. Use disposable mats on airplane trays. You don’t want to know what might be lurking on the tray table where your one-year-old just plopped his pacifier. One of our favorite airline hacks is to keep those yuckies covered with a disposable like this “Tray Mask.” That way, when your kids pour their pretzels out of the bags (because you know they will), you can rest assured knowing the table is clean.
19, Stash pacifiers in condiment cups. If you don’t want your extra pacifiers collecting dirt and grime, grab a few extra to-go dressing cups the next time you eat out. Each one is a perfect binky-holder.
20. Get this suitcase that doubles as a lay-flat bed. JetKids has invented what may be the coolest travel gadget for kids: The JetKids By Stokke Bedbox works as a scooter suitcase in the airport (your kids can roll themselves or be pulled by you) and transforms into a lay-flat bed for babies and toddlers in-flight. At $199, it’s a pricey purchase, but considering the peace of mind you’ll get knowing your little one will snooze the flight away, it may be worth it. Read our in-depth review of the BedBox here.
21. Use free printables. If the power on the tablet runs out, and you’re up for a family game, whip out a few air travel BINGO cards and start scanning the aisles for your winning items. See a beverage cart? Check!! Hear someone sneeze? BINGO! You can make your own cards or try one of these free printables.
22. Conquer achy ears. The frequent flyers over at Nourishing Little Souls picked up this hack from a flight attendant for when their little ones’ ears pop en route. Simply pour steaming hot water onto paper towels and stuff them into the bottom of two cups. Then, hold the cups so that they’re sealed over your kid’s ears; any pressure disappears in a flash.
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23. Make in-flight snack time a game. Tots love to open and close things, so take a cue from Lemon Stripes by stretching out the mid-flight snack by stashing their favorite nibbles—goldfish, granola, raisins—into a days-of-the-week pill case. They’ll get a kick out of popping open each compartment and picking out the treats inside.
24. Use saran wrap or portable cup covers to minimize in-flight spills. Keep in-flight juice messes to a minimum by covering open cups (like the ones flight attendants hand out) with a piece of Press n’ Seal. Stick a straw into the top and voila! Looking for something you can use again and again? Try these ingenious portable cup covers that fit onto almost any cup.
25. Abandon screen time rules. If endless episodes of Dora The Explorer or a few hours of Minecraft is all it takes to keep your little jet-setter happy on a cross-country journey, let it happen. When it comes to screen time on an airplane, we say there are no rules. Quiet kids = Happy plane.
Insider Tip: If you’re downloading movies to the tablet, don’t forget a jack splitter so your kids can watch together. Also, don’t forget to download your airline’s app so you can watch free movies and shows in-flight (most airplanes without courtesy screens offer this).
26. Bring lots of lollipops. Hear us out: If your kids are having trouble popping their ears during takeoff and landing, sucking on lollipops can help. It also helps during temper tantrums and meltdowns (You’re on a plane: You do what you have to do). Don’t be afraid to offer them to the harried parents a few rows up—this airplane hack works like magic.
Ask any parent what it’s like to raise a kid today, and we’d likely tell you modern childhood seems much more complex—and perilous—than when we were young. Thanks to increased peer pressure, massive technological advances, and on-demand access to virtually anything via click or tap, kids today face a wider array of choices and decision-making opportunities than we did when we were their age.
As parents, we hope we’ve instilled strong values and resilience in our children so they’re always able to make good decisions. But how can we be sure they’ll do the right thing, especially when we’re not around? While there’s no magic formula, here are 10 tips to help your kid make smart decisions—even when you’re not there.
1. Start conversations about smart decision-making early.
The earlier parents initiate conversations about how to make good decisions with their kids, the better. Explaining to your child what it means to make a good decision and why it’s important can set them up for future success. Kevin Zoromski, a psychologist and early childhood development expert says, “Give children choices as part of their day and as part of their typical routine. They will look forward to having some say over what they get to do in the household and you will establish their sense of responsibility as important decision-makers.”
2. Role-model smart decision-making behaviors.
Kids learn through observation and patterning the behaviors of people in their lives, especially their parents. Modeling good decision-making behavior will help reinforce your life lessons. Show your kid that you are honest, responsible, and accountable for your choices. “You are your child’s first and most important role model,” said mental health expert Ketsupa Jirakarn. “[Kids] are always observing and learning from you every day—even when you are unaware of it. So, make sure you practice what you preach.”
3. Set clear expectations and boundaries.
Let your kids know what you expect from them in terms of making smart decisions. For older kids, this could include things like always telling you where they are going, not using illicit substances like drugs and alcohol, and staying away from dangerous situations. “Children are more likely to accept the limits you set and are more likely to want to meet your expectations (i.e., be responsible) when you provide a warm, caring, and supportive relationship that underlies the discipline you impose,” according to a report from The Center for Parenting Education.
4. Practice makes perfect.
Give your child opportunities to practice smart decision-making. This could involve giving them small choices, such as what to wear to school or what to eat for dinner. It also could involve giving them bigger choices, such as whether to join a sports team or what to do with their allowance. By empowering your child to learn about the consequences of their choices through smaller actions, they will feel more empowered when making bigger decisions on their own.
When your kid makes a mistake, don’t immediately swoop in to fix the problem or resort immediately to punishment. Help them understand why a misstep was a consequence of not making the best decision, and then talk about how they can make a better choice next time. According to a report from the Harvard Graduate School of Education, “Reframing mistakes as opportunities from which we can learn—rather than failures alone—can help us feel like we are capable and in control. Reframing can also help us handle future mistakes more effectively.”
6. Develop their critical thinking skills.
Learning how to think critically and independently requires self-awareness (i.e., knowing strengths, weaknesses, and values) as well as problem-solving skills. Encouraging your child to think through a decision and come up with a solution can further nurture and develop their critical thinking skills. “In childhood and adolescence, the body goes through many physical changes, but there are also many changes in how we think, feel, and behave, and in our motivations,” according to a report from Frontiers for Young Minds. It’s through repeated trial and error that kids develop the necessary skills to thrive into adulthood.
7. Help them understand risks.
Some decisions have few consequences, while other decisions are highly consequential. Teaching your child the difference between big and small choices, and understanding the risks associated with some decisions will mitigate the chances of bad outcomes. For example, teach young kids about the risks of eating too much junk food or overdoing it with screen time, and teach older kids about the risks of cyberbullying and underage drinking.
8. Nurture emotional intelligence.
Talk to your child about the choices they’re facing and help them understand the different options and the potential consequences of each choice. Teaching them how to evaluate information, identify biases, and make informed decisions as well as helping your child understand and manage their emotions and how to make decisions that are in line with their values will serve them well. “Emotional literacy starts at birth when babies can just bond with [their parents] and connect on just that level. And it continues to evolve,” said Dr. Michele Borba, parenting expert and author of Building Moral Intelligence: The Seven Essential Virtues that Teach Kids to Do the Right Thing.
9. Be supportive and consistent.
As parents, being supportive and consistent with our reactions to our children’s choices will help ensure they make smart ones, even when we’re not present. If you sometimes let your child get away with making a bad decision, they will be less likely to take you seriously when you expect them to make good choices without you. Additionally, when your kid makes a good decision, be sure to praise and validate them. “Youth who experience more positive interactions with parents are better adjusted. Indeed, consistency in parenting—primarily consistency in discipline—has been linked to more positive youth outcomes,” according to a report from the National Institutes of Health.
10. Practice patience and understanding.
It takes time for kids to learn how to make smart decisions. Don’t get discouraged if they don’t always and immediately make the right choices. Even when your kids are old enough to make decisions themselves, they still need your patience and understanding. Be there to talk to them, offer advice, and help them deal with the consequences of their decisions.
While research indicates that infants and toddlers under 18 months shouldn’t have any screen time, for most parents, especially working parents, that isn’t a reality. Our advice? Ditch the parenting guilt and focus on quality when it comes to screen time. Our list of the best YouTube channels for toddlers highlights those that engage and entertain with fun and educational content (zero unboxing to be found). These channels challenge little minds and also encourage moving little bodies, so, when you do need to utilize a screen, here’s what your toddler should be watching.
The Snack Town All-Stars
Join in on the fun with Banana, Apple, Orange, and, Grape. These animated healthy snacks sing fun songs about eating good foods and there are even soothing lullabies for naptime. One of the most popular videos is Stay Healthy Shake, which encourages kids to get up and move. We love this for the times when you need a quick 15 minutes.
Blippi
With his orange glasses, suspenders, and bowtie, Blippi has taken the toddler world by storm. His educational content teaches young kids about everything from colors to numbers. Blippi’s whimsical and exaggerated mannerisms and the simple-to-follow lessons are brought to life with age-appropriate props and backgrounds. This not only appeals to toddlers but also keeps them engaged and entertained while they are learning.
PBS Kids
With live streams of many PBS kid shows like SUPER WHY, Daniel Tiger, and Rosie’s Rules, the PBS Kids YouTube channel offers educational and engaging content for toddlers. There are also full episodes of the newer PBS show Work It Out Wombats, which focuses on computational thinking. The show focuses on three main characters who also happen to be wombat siblings navigating an apartment complex and solving problems along the way.
Sesame Street
This YouTube channel features episodes from the long-running, award-winning children’s show. The compilations and themed content around important holidays and events are not only educational but interactive, too. Toddlers will love seeing all their favorite Sesame Street characters from Elmo to Grover sing and dance. With over 23 million subscribers, the YouTube channel is as popular as the show many parents grew up with and are now eager to share with their own children.
After revealing a surprise, real-life girl Gabby grabs her stuffed cat and says a few magical words. She then becomes a tiny animated figure who goes on adventures in her amazing dollhouse. Kids can watch full episodes of the Netflix show, Gabby’s Dollhouse, on the YouTube channel. They can also enjoy videos of simple crafts, songs, and educational content like learning the colors of the rainbow. Parents can enjoy some special bonding time with their toddlers during the crafting videos because young kids won’t be able to do these by themselves.
Ms. Rachel Songs for Littles
With over two million subscribers, Ms. Rachel’s soothing and melodious voice provides toddlers with lessons on letters, sounds, and numbers. The preschool teacher was inspired to create her channel after her own son was diagnosed with a speech delay. With a special focus on language development, Miss Rachel focuses on providing kids with an interactive experience they can follow along with. Her puppet sidekicks Herbie and Georgie also grab kids’ attention.
Danny Go!
According to the website, this YouTube channel is geared toward kids from 2-7. With catchy and fun songs like The Dinosaur Dance and Fire and Ice Freeze Dance, Danny Go! encourages kids to get moving by showing them simple dance moves they can easily do. There are a cast of regular characters like Mindy Mango, Tiny Danny, and scientist Pap Pap who provide movement breaks and educational lessons against colorful and engaging backgrounds.
This YouTube channel with more than 37 million subscribers appeals to toddlers with its simple and classic songs. Many videos feature old-school puppets or animated characters that will entertain and engage kids who will love singing and dancing along. From classic nursery rhymes like Humpty Dumpty to age-old songs like Skidamarink, this channel will keep your toddler on their toes.
CoComelon
With musical repetition and bright colors, this channel is perfect for toddlers. The repetition helps them to build their vocabulary and acquire early literacy skills with the use of nursery rhymes and songs. CoComelon also teaches toddlers about colors and numbers, and provides other important life lessons.
The Learning Station
This channel is fun and educational, focusing on everything from early literacy development to social and emotional learning. One of the most popular songs, Herman the Worm, has racked up 117 million views. Kids love the simple melody and silliness factor of the goofy song.
This literacy program features some of the most popular and entertaining celebrities reading kids’ books. Presented by the SAG-AFTRA foundation, kids will love the lively reading where celebs do a variety of voices and get truly animated. Parents may want to watch alongside their kids to see celebrities from Oprah to Jennifer Garner. In one particularly enticing entry, the late, great Betty White reads Harry the Dirty Dog.
As the parent of a rambunctious toddler, I lived for naptime—I desperately needed those little breaks and my tantrum-prone daughter required twice-daily reboots. When she stopped napping entirely, I nearly cried. But as much as parents relish opportunities to recharge, children need them even more, says Dr. Lena van der List, a pediatrician at UC Davis Children’s Hospital in Sacramento. “Sleep is crucial for all of us—the importance can’t be overstated—but especially for little ones,” she explains. “They are developing skills like emotional regulation and growing so much. Even things like immune function are integrally tied to sleep.” Before nixing naptime, van der List advises that parents carefully consider their child’s age, overall sleep, and signs that they may be ready.
How much sleep do toddlers need?
Toddlers need between 10 and 14 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period, says van der List, made up of a combination of nighttime sleep and naps. Typically, they’ll drop from two naps a day to one longer mid-day nap between the ages of 12 and 16 months.
While my daughter only made it to age 3 (why though), most kids need at least one nap a day until 4 years of age (or older). Others may need naps after a lot of activity (think swimming lessons or a day at Disneyland). “It’s important to know your child and some of the cues that may indicate that they no longer need [naps],” she adds.
Signs your kid is ready to stop napping
Your child may no longer need to nap if they are:
Refusing to go to bed at their usual bedtime
Spending naptime talking or singing to themselves
Waking up extremely early in the morning
Not getting enough sleep overall
The key here is consistency, says van der List. “It’s not going to be a one-day thing. You should notice a consistent pattern.”
Keep in mind that during times of illness or transition, children may struggle to nap—but it doesn’t mean naptime should end. “A lot of times parents will just kind of give up if it’s been a rough week. We tend to think that all hope is lost, but it is not. You can get back to where you were.”
Signs they still need to nap
Most adults flop onto the couch when they’re tired, but young children do the opposite. “Their little brains start to misfire,” says van der List. “They start acting out and having big behavioral issues or meltdowns.” If this sounds like your kid, they may still need to nap. Another important sign is if your kiddo isn’t getting the recommended hours of sleep in a day.
With quiet time, naps may return. It can also be helpful to create strong associations between sleep and objects, like a sleep sack, lovey, or crib. For this reason, van der List recommends children stay in a crib for as long as possible.
How to transition from nap time to quiet time
If you suspect it’s time to cancel naptime, van der List suggests transitioning to ‘quiet time.’ Young children benefit from resting in a low-stimulation environment and, if it turns out that they still need the nap, it gives them the chance to sleep.
Kids thrive on routine, so it’s important to create a new routine for quiet time, says van der List.
She recommends a darkened room with low-stimulation toys and avoiding screentime beforehand. “Watching a show as a wind down is not necessarily the best thing for toddlers or preschoolers because screen time really activates them,” she says.
When to consult your pediatrician
If you’re struggling to get your child enough sleep each day—with or without napping—have a chat with their pediatrician. And keep in mind that kids who are neurodivergent sleep differently and health issues like anemia and obstructive sleep apnea can create sleep problems, says van der List.
But sometimes, no matter how closely parents follow her advice, their children still don’t sleep.
“That’s not a parenting flaw, by any means,” she says. “There are just some kids that don’t sleep as well.”
It certainly isn’t breaking news that screen time in the toddler years is something that should be avoided as much as possible. In an interesting twist, a recent study exploring the relationship between toddler language development and toddler screen time found that it’s not necessarily the amount of time spent watching videos that is the issue. Rather, the reason why the toddler is watching the video is the important part of predicting the impact on expressive language.
The study looked at children between 17 and 30 months of age and had caregivers document how much time their children spent on video/TV, video games, video chat, and e-books. Caregivers also noted the reason why screentime was being used whether that was for calming/babysitting benefits, for educational purposes, or to engage with family members. These factors were then compared to the children’s vocabulary and length using two or more words together.
Results show that children between the ages of 17 and 30 months spend an average of nearly two hours per day watching videos. This is a 100 percent increase from prior estimates gathered before the COVID pandemic. “Children exposed to videos by caregivers for their calming or ‘babysitting’ benefits tended to use phrases and sentences with fewer words,” as explained on smu.edu. “However, the negative impact on language skills was mitigated when videos were used for educational purposes or to foster social connections—such as through video chats with family members.”
“In those first couple years of life, language is one of the core components of development that we know media can impact,” said Sarah Kucker, assistant professor of psychology in SMU’s Dedman College of Humanities & Sciences, to sciencedaily.com. “There’s less research focused on toddlers using digital media than older ages, which is why we’re trying to understand better how digital media affects this age group and what type of screen time is beneficial and what is not.”
In addition, once kids are well into their toddler years, there are television shows like Miss Rachel, Peppa Pig, and Daniel Tiger that actually aid in language development.
The takeaway: We all just need to do our best to limit screen time as we can, understanding that it is not always possible.
It’s hard to imagine how you’re going to juggle all the things when you go back to work after having a baby. On top of your actual job, there’s the laundry and cooking and grocery shopping, the emails from school, the playdates, and your bigger kid’s sweatpants suddenly having holes in every knee. It’s a lot. So we asked 25 working moms to share their best piece of advice, and boy did they deliver—with tips on everything from streamlining your home life to actually, realistically carving out time for yourself.
The Juggle Is Real
Plan the week out in person “Every Sunday evening, my husband and I sit down and review the week ahead (logistics, upcoming events, to-dos, etc.) and create a one-page document that we print out and leave in an easy-to-see spot. We reference it all week! This exercise helps me get a hold of the ongoing mental list heading into the week.”
Do the small things first “The best piece of advice I ever got was to live by the one-minute rule. Essentially, you do any task that takes a minute or less immediately. Don’t microwave your coffee, don’t call a friend, don’t pass go and collect $200—just do it now. All those little distractions add up to some aggressively long to-do lists and as working moms, we simply don’t have time for that. So if you bring in the mail, don’t plop it down to deal with later—just go through it right away and throw out the junk. If you get an email from the school that requires an easy response, get it over with. By getting all these little things out of the way ASAP you’re making more time for the big stuff, and we all need more time for the big stuff.”
Go ahead, take the shortcut “Working full-time with young kids is hard, no doubt about it. Do what you have to do to get through the day, because some days are harder than others. Grilled cheese (for the fourth time this week)? Why not! A little extra screen time so you can complete a task that can no longer wait? Go for it. Sometimes, it’s about survival. These don’t have to be the moments that define you as a mom. These are the moments that let you keep the ship afloat so you can be the mom you really want to be.”
Prep the night before “Whether you need to leave the house to go to work daily or once a week, make that morning as streamlined as possible. Shower the night before if you can. Plan your outfit and the kids’ clothes. Pack lunches. The easier it is for you to get ready, the easier it is to get out the door, and the smoother your day will be.”
Take allll the help “My advice is to take any help you can get. Don’t try to be a hero. It literally takes a village. Know who you can count on for carpools and when you can share responsibilities with people you trust.”
Divide and conquer (and reevaluate regularly) “I was the primary parent for many years, and even though I am now working full-time, I’m the primary parent in many ways. There are times when this becomes too much and the anger can build. Why do I need to still take care of the stuff I did before? The answer is, I don’t. This may mean our house is messier for longer, or the kids don’t get as many playdates, but inevitably, we started new routines and new schedules to balance out the division of labor. And if it feels like it’s not working again, it’s back to the drawing board to figure out a new routine. Don’t expect to have it all figured out right away. You need to try things out for a bit, sit with it, and adjust as needed.”
Switch up nighttime routines “When it comes to the daily routine, try not to have one parent do bath time and bedtime every night. We have always had one parent clean up after dinner and the other handle the bedtime routine. And then the next night we switch, although it can be hard if mom is nursing. My husband would do everything to get the baby ready for bed, and I would nurse as the final step. Then your baby gets used to both parents, not only mom, at bedtime.”
Take the Zumba class “A co-worker of mine once told me when my kids were really young how important it is for moms to have a life outside of their kids. At the time I would rush from work to pick them up from daycare when what I really wanted to do was attend the Zumba class that was held at our office. She encouraged me to do that and it really was life-changing. Now, I regularly leave them to travel and they have developed so many great life skills from me not always being home. Plus they see me following my dreams even as an adult which I think is so important.”
Work Life
Never apologize “Do not apologize for saying ‘I need to go pick up my kids.’ Anything having to do with caring for your kids does not need an apology. To anyone. Ever. Be gracious and polite and tactful as the situation calls for, but don’t tell anyone you’re sorry you need to be a parent.”
Talk about your littles “When I first had my daughter, I was reluctant to talk about parenting with clients and colleagues. I didn’t want anyone to assume that motherhood would get in the way of my performance. But I’ve come to realize that commiserating about potty training is actually a great way to break the ice and forge relationships with the parents I work with. These days, if I know a client or colleague has kids, I make a point of asking about them. This approach might not be right for every workplace, but it’s been effective for me.”
Seek out mother mentors “Create a village at work to support you. Find mentors to help guide you as you make potentially new career decisions as a working mother. It’s great to engage women for your personal board of directors who are a few steps ahead of you in the working motherhood journey. That way they can share what they did in your shoes as you find new opportunities.”
Know your rights “Know your rights as a mother and what the law says about maternity leave, time off to care for sick kids, time off for doctor visits, pumping and privacy, etc. No one can take advantage of you when you can back things up with the law.”
Dual Identities
Set work and socialization boundaries “It can become awkward if your office environment is a more social one and you have to/want to/need to go home to your family. If you do feel tension around this, speak to your manager. Explain your boundaries – it’s better to be upfront and have everyone understand the expectations. Just be aware that you’ll have to stay and play sometimes (and that’s OK!).”
Work-life balance takes work “Work-life balance isn’t a 50/50 daily split. It’s intentionally making the time for the things that you really care about, using boundaries, prioritizing, and planning your time over the long term. If you don’t have boundaries, everything is harder when it comes to finding time for what you care about. The easiest way to maintain boundaries after you define them is to use your calendar. Block off time to indicate when your work day ends. Put time on your calendar when you know you’ll be focused on family. Carve out time for things like exercise and self-care.”
Take time to switch from mom mode to work mode “I usually feel a little frazzled from the adrenaline of the morning rush, so I give myself 25 minutes to shake it off and prepare myself to start my work day. I pop on a chatty, fun podcast (or put on some feel-good music if that’s more my mood), and do a quick sweep of the spaces I need to use. I remove all of the obvious kid debris and mess so that the space feels more calm and ordered. Then I change into an outfit I feel good in and do a two-minute glow-up to hide the tired eyes. I take a moment to make a coffee or eat something nourishing in my garden; just five minutes or so to myself outside in nature to reset. Then I head to my desk and get started–work mode activated!”
Focus on one thing at a time “Avoid multitasking when it comes to childminding and working at the same time—it’s a poor result for everyone if you’re attempting to work while spending time with your children and vice-versa.”
Advancing In Your Career
Work advancements may mean less “Once I had kids, I knew that work no longer took priority for me. And even though I went back to work eventually, I no longer felt like I needed the ‘cool’ job or the better title. I liked being able to work again, but also being able to shut my computer off and be with my family. I am a full-time project manager at home, I don’t need to be one at my job.”
Make deals on the playground “You know the old cliché that business deals are made on the golf course? Well, they can be made on the playground too! I’ve found that parents, and moms in particular, are willing to help fellow parents reach career goals. Leveraging my network of fellow moms has led to valuable business relationships and even new clients.”
Work smarter and put yourself first “Before kids I considered myself a hard worker, staying late at the office, taking on tasks for which I wasn’t recognized, agonizing over every word in an email. I no longer have that time as a working mom. Now I say no to tasks that don’t serve me, walk away from time-sucking clients, and yes, send a few emails with typos. I’ve dialed down my efforts at work and I’ve found that the work I produce is just as good.”
Put pumping on the cal “If you’re planning to pump, put that time on your calendar so it doesn’t get eaten up by other meetings or requests. People will know that you’re unavailable.”
Mom Guilt and Expectations
No one has all the answers “Don’t let anyone, especially social media influencers or experts, tell you what you can or can’t do. Don’t get hooked into the narrative of the burnt-out mom if it doesn’t serve you. We’ll all get overwhelmed, but it’s not written in the sky that you can’t have what you want in all aspects of your life. We’re just told, a lot, that, no, we can’t. And I don’t buy it.”
A little sorry goes a long way “There may be moments when you lose your cool with your kid. Trying to get out the door in the morning when you’re already late for work is an opportune time for this. When you cool off later that day or even later that week, apologize and admit you made a mistake. Everyone will feel better for it.”
So does a little one-on-one time “Try to carve out a little time each day to focus on your kids. Even just 10 minutes of ‘golden time’ as they call it. Makes me feel less guilty for the time I don’t get to spend with them and sometimes it actually helps their behavior.”
Making Time For Yourself (Really Though)
Rise and shine “I like to get up as early as I can muster to have some alone time before the rest of my family wakes up. I make coffee, read a few chapters of my book, and just generally let myself bask in the quiet. I find that when my kids do get up I’m more calm and prepared for whatever they throw my way (tantrums, fights, breakfast disasters). Some people call it the 5 a.m. club, but mine’s more 6 a.m. or later because I’m not a morning person at all. But I do go to bed as early as I can to make this work.”
Fresh air is your friend “I like to go for a walk before work, even when I work from home, and I call it my commute. Alone time, fresh air, and steps make me feel more ready for the day.”
Your child says, “I’m hungry,” and you grab them a snack. They say “I’m bored,” and you find a way to entertain them. But when should the butler treatment end? When is it time to teach your child how to be self-sufficient and let them do things for themselves?
Believe it or not—now is as good a time as any! Your two-year-old can help you do the laundry; your 6-year-old can brush her teeth; and your 10-year-old can hang out alone at home while you walk the dog. And, no matter how desperately they cry, “Watch me!” young kids don’t always need you right there next to them (being just nearby is just fine).
“What you’re really trying to do is get the child to learn how to make decisions and take control over the things they can have control over,” said Dr. Michael Ungar, director of the Resilience Research Center and the author of We Generation: Raising Socially Responsible Kids. “What you really want is a child who can make a contribution to their family, who can navigate their community, who can problem solve.”
We created an age-by-age guide that ranges from letting your toddler help with household chores to giving your tween tech time to help you figure out the right time to give your kids that much-needed independence. Here’s what the experts say.
Things Kids Can Do: Ages 0 to 2
Don’t worry: You won’t need to start nudging your one-year-old out of the nest. According to Los Angeles child psychiatrist Patrick Kelly, it’s the opposite: the stronger the attachment between parents and their babies, the more comfortable those kids will be doing things independently as they grow. That said, there are a few “big kid” things your tiny tot can start learning at this age:
Feeding and Dressing Themselves – According to Los Angeles pediatrician Amin Davari, simple things like allowing older infants to feed themselves age-appropriate foods and letting young children dress themselves give kids “minor struggles and successes” that help them learn how to be self-sufficient and build skills and confidence.
Swim Lessons – The AAP recently changed its guidelines to say that kids should start swimming lessons at age one. Although swim lessons will never make a child “drown proof,” lessons between the ages of one to four years have been shown to reduce drowning risk, according to the AAP.
Sign Language – Just because your baby can’t talk doesn’t mean she’s not trying to tell you something. Advocates say teaching babies and toddlers basic signs (things like “eat,” “more” and “milk”) can increase confidence in both the kids and their caregivers, helping little ones who can’t yet speak get their needs met. Taking a class can mean a fun social outing for Mom or Dad—though you can also learn from home.
Things Kids Can Do: Ages 2 to 4
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At this age, kids are ready—and willing!—to take on some responsibility around the house. You’ll know the time is right when you see them start pretending to do grown-up things, like playing “family” or play-driving the car when they’re in the push car. Take advantage of this need now by giving them:
Simple Household Chores – Give them a broom or a dustpan, and let them help you sweep the kitchen floor. You’d be surprised how willingly kids this age will want to help you clean. If you’re lucky, the habit will continue into their later years. Other simple household chores suitable for two-to three-year-olds, according to The Montessori Notebook are:
Help pack their backpack
Brushing/feeding the dog (just let it go when they make a mess!)
Helping make the bed (at four, kids should be able to at least pull up a duvet by themselves)
Placing clothing in the laundry and pushing the buttons you point to
Solo Playtime – As long as you’ve created a safe space to play, at this age most kids are generally past the swallowing-small-objects phase and can happily play by themselves for 30 to 45 minutes at a time. If your child is reluctant to play alone, just agree to be nearby, but set up toys with which they can play solo.
“Reading” Time – Your child doesn’t need to know how to read to get lost in a world of books. Give kids a stack of picture books and let them have at it. If they want to hear stories read out loud—but you still want them to be on their own—we love the Yoto player, a simple speaker designed for kids ages three and up that allows kids to insert small cards to read popular stories aloud.
Pick What they Wear – Something as simple as choosing their clothes can make a child feel incredibly independent, says Dr. Ungar. “Three-year-olds can’t negotiate their bedtimes, but they can decide to wear green pajamas or blue pajamas. The trick seems to be to find these ways that the child can make a genuine contribution.”
Use a Balance Bike – Kids may not be ready for a two-wheeler at age two… but a balance bike is an easy go-to! “Once a child can confidently walk around the house, they can start walking with a balance bike between their legs,” says Schwinn spokesperson Ryan Berkicht. “This could be as soon as 18 months old for some kids.”
Things Kids Can Do: Ages 4 to 6
Gross motor skills are advancing quickly at this age, too, so your kids should be ready for fun things like climbing on a play structure (without you constantly spotting), and using the “big kid swing” all by themselves. And while these may seem like ordinary childhood milestones, all of these accomplishments help them learn how to be self-sufficient and instill huge amounts of confidence. So cheer your kids on as they:
Brush Their Teeth: While most dentists advise that you keep assisting with their pearly whites until age 7, your kids should know how to brush their teeth all on their teeth by age 5 or 6—with you nearby to make sure there’s actual brushing going on (as opposed to just holding the electric toothbrush in their mouths while the motor revs). A good compromise is to let your kids do the morning brush and you can brush their teeth in the evening.
Use a Microwave with Supervision – Not only does using the microwave buttons help reinforce number recognition, but it also makes kids feel like real big kids. Teach your kids what can and can’t go in the microwave, and let them push the buttons and press “start” all on their own.
Ride a Two-Wheeler – Sure, some kids are ready for a two-wheeler at three years old—and some five-year-olds want nothing to do with a bike—but experts say age 5 or 6 is a good target age for getting a kid on her first two-wheeler. If they’ve been riding a balance bike or a bike with training wheels, they should be able to transition easily.
Have Drop-Off Play Dates – According to the AAP, kids around ages 5 and 6 are developmentally ready to be dropped off for play dates. Got a child who’s nervous about it? It might help to have the playdates at your house, where you can step away—but not out.
Day Camp – Since this is the age when kids start preschool or kindergarten, they’re also usually ready for day camp at this age, too. If your kids don’t seem uber-enthusiastic about camp, try to keep the camp schedule similar to their school schedule (if your child attends a half-day school, for instance, start with a half-day camp).
Things Kids Can Do: Ages 6 to 8
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By this age, kids have started kindergarten and are usually happy to do anything that makes them feel grown-up and competent. So watch them closely for opportunities to teach them how to be self-sufficient—while also keeping them safe (for instance, let them ride a bike up and down your street, but make them wear a helmet). Here are some things kids are ready to do by this age:
Use a peeler to peel raw potatoes, ginger, mangoes, and other washed fruits and vegetables
Break eggs into a bowl (and remember to wash hands afterward)
Scoop out avocados after being sliced in half by an adult
Snap green beans
Shuck corn and rinse before cooking
Rinse and cut parsley or green onions with clean, blunt kitchen scissors
Take a Bath By Themselves – According to this article in the National Library of Medicine, most children can take a bath by themselves (i.e., without you sitting by the tub) by age 6. We recommend parents still stay within earshot and keep baths short enough that kids don’t get tired or rowdy in the bathtub by themselves.
Tie Their Shoes (with you supervising) – By age 6 or 7, most kids have the fine motor skills to attempt this surprisingly complex set of movements, according to Carolina Therapy Connection. You’ll know your child is ready to tie their shoes when they’re able to easily cut paper with scissors, string beads, or button and unbutton buttons.
Use a Computer to Browse the Internet – Experts recommend supervising children’s internet use at this age: If you’re not able to be there watching, you can use a filtering device like the Circle, which lets you dictate what apps and websites kids can and can’t visit online (as well as setting up bedtimes and screen time limits); or try a web filtering program like Microsoft Edge Kids Mode, which keeps your kids from seeing anything inappropriate online and lets you customize their web experience (it also prevents them from exiting the kid-safe browser to explore other apps on the computer).
Things Kids Can Do: Ages 8 to 10
Older kids are ready for adventure! Now’s the time to loosen the reins and let them chart their course a little bit. By this age, your child might be ready to:
Have a Sleepover – Around this age, they may be ready—as long as they can sleep through the night, no problem. That said, before you send your kids to another person’s home for the night, they must understand body boundaries and inappropriate touching. “I do think it’s a great time to start teaching kids about appropriate touches and that we’re the boss of our bodies and we’re the boss of our private parts,” writes child abuse prevention expert Pattie Fitzgerald. She also urged parents to talk to the host parents so they’ll know exactly who will be supervising and whether there will be older kids (such as teenage-aged siblings) or extended family in the home. The answer to these questions may well alter your decision to say “yes,” as parents should have a strong baseline of trust with the hosts.
Note: Some experts believe children (and their parents!) aren’t ready for sleepovers until the age of 10 and up.
Go to Overnight Camp – As long as your child can shower, doesn’t wet the bed, and has shown no problems spending the night at friends’ or relatives’ homes, they’re probably ready for sleepaway camp. While many overnight camps offer programs for kids as young as six or seven, the American Camp Association gives age nine as the target age for kids to start the summer camp journey. Some camps offer one-week “starter” programs for reluctant or nervous campers.
Walk to School by Themselves(Under Certain Conditions) – The AAP says elementary school-aged kids can walk to school by themselves, provided the walk is short, the neighborhood is safe, and there are school crossing guards stationed at any intersections. If there are non-guarded streets or you live in a city, waiting until age 12 is better.
Things Kids Can Do: Ages 10 and Up
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Tweens are all about breaking free and taking risks. Your job is to let them experiment with autonomy while still making sure they’ve got set limits to keep them safe. By age 10, kids can:
Be Left At Home for a Short Time – The laws vary on this, with some states like Oregon and Tennessee giving home-alone privileges to 10-year-olds and states like Colorado and Delaware saying 12 is a better age to start this. This Washington Post article gives state-by-state guidelines on the regulations, but it’s a good idea to check with your state’s Family or Child Services Department to be sure.
In any case, before you leave your kids home alone—even for a short time—it’s important that they know what to do in case of emergency and what your expectations are should unexpected things happen (like someone knocking on the door or a friend stopping by unannounced). The Department of Health and Human Services recommends that parents ask themselves these questions before leaving kids alone:
Is your child physically and mentally able to care for him or herself?
Does your child obey rules and make good decisions?
How does your child respond to unfamiliar or stressful situations?
Does your child feel comfortable or fearful about being home alone?
If you’re leaving for more than an hour, it’s best to wait to take your children. And experts say it’s not a good idea to let kids this age babysit younger children while no parents are home.
For more advice and tips, see this handout from the DHH.
Ride a Bike to School – It’s hard to find any specific laws about kids riding bikes to school, but the American Academy of Pediatrics says that by late elementary school, most kids can safely do this, provided the route is short and the roads safe. Before your child starts riding to school, make sure you practice the route with them (several times!) and go over what to do if unexpected things arise, such as a fall or a flat tire. If it makes you feel better, have your child wear a GPS watch or other tracking device to alert you when she gets to school safely.
Of course, you should always make sure your kids wear a good-fitting helmet and try to enlist a friend to ride along, to ensure both kids get there safely.
This is it. The bridge to the young adult years. Kids in this final stretch to the teens are longing to break free, so the trick is to let them feel independent and learn how to be self-sufficient while encouraging them to make responsible choices. Here are some things they’re ready to do now:
Have Their Own Cell Phone – While many argue that cell phones should wait until high school, middle schoolers can have a phone, provided it is monitored and filtered by the parents. Before you give your child a phone, have them sign a technology agreement that lays out the rules—for instance, no cell phones should be allowed in your child’s room overnight, and your child should know that you will read and monitor her messages. To keep your kids off inappropriate or dangerous apps and sites, use apps and programs like Screentime (for iPhones), Circle, or Securly.
Babysit Younger Children – There are no real legal restrictions for babysitting (except in states that have laws on when kids can be left alone), but the Red Cross doesn’t allow kids to take its babysitting course until age 11. By 12, kids should be able to babysit with a grown-up present in the house (or for short times when a grown-up leaves the house); by 14, they can usually babysit younger children on their own. When it comes to an older sibling watching the younger kids in the house, parents need to ask themselves whether their oldest is mature enough and responsible enough to handle the task. If there are any doubts, skip it.
Be Dropped Off in a Public Place with Friends – As long as your child agrees to stay with the group and you’ve talked about uncomfortable situations (if a stranger talks to them or if other kids are experimenting with drugs or alcohol), most experts agree that by middle school—or around age 13—kids can be dropped off at public place (like a movie theater or mall) for a few hours as long as they are in a group and you are leaving them in a safe location. This depends, of course, on your child’s level of maturity, your city’s crime rate, and whether you trust them to make good decisions.
Note: Check with your state laws before letting your teen go to certain places solo: Some states, such as Minnesota and Delaware, do not permit children under 16 to be in certain malls without adult supervision, according to this article.
We all know that screen time for toddler-aged kids should be limited, but let’s be real, sometimes we need to make dinner, clean the house, or kill some time while waiting at the pediatrician’s office. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry offers the following screentime guidelines:
Between 18 and 24 months, screen time should be limited to watching educational programming with a caregiver.
For children 2-5, limit non-educational screen time to about 1 hour per weekday and 3 hours on weekend days.
Instead of beating ourselves up for allowing our kids to watch a show, speech-language pathologist Moira Chrzanowski suggests that we take the opportunity to help our little ones develop their language skills. “For the most part in that zero to five age range, verbal language skills should be your top priority as far as education goes, and that includes listening and speaking skills.”
Some shows do a much better job at teaching these skills, Chrzanowski explains on her TikTok account @rooted.in.language. “When choosing media that’s going to be high quality for your kid, you need to intentionally choose based on what’s age appropriate that hits that zone of proximal development… that means they’re actually able to engage and learn, not [something] that’s way above their head so they disengage and become passive listeners.”
These are the three shows she recommends and why they are so great:
Miss Rachel: “She expertly employs a parentese, child-directed style of speaking. She specifically targets the articulation of speech sounds and vocabulary building. She shamelessly exploits the power of song and repetition to great effect, and she explicitly teaches vocabulary and scripts for functional social routines and common activities—things like getting dressed for different weather, bedtime, playground play, going to the zoo, going to a birthday party. All of these strategies target big, complex skills and target them well, making her show the ‘chef’s kiss’ for having an actual impact on language development,” Chrzanowski says.
Peppa Pig: “What I like about Peppa is the short and relatable story arcs, shorter than Bluey. Yes. Bluey episodes aren’t long, but they’re too long for a lot of two-year-olds. And a lot of the Bluey topics are complex, which mostly go over a two-year-old’s head and therefore don’t hold their attention,” Chrzanowski explains. “Peppa Pig episodes are under five minutes long. They’re simple, they’re happy, they’re the kind of plots a two-year-old can begin to follow… The best part about Peppa Pig for building language skills is the slow rate of speech. The dialogue and narration in Peppa Pig is noticeably slower than your average rate of speech.”
Daniel Tiger:“The best feature of Daniel Tiger is its use of short repeated songs to address daily feelings, problems, and experiences. I’m talking [about] little ditties that are 10 seconds or less. Each little melody surrounds a particular theme and is repeated frequently across a single episode,” Chrzanowski says. “This aspect of Daniel Tiger is the main reason I find it so effective for building language skills—because it hits two key checkpoints for language learning: memory and motivation. Memorable because of the short, repetitive, catchy tunes a lot like commercial jingles. Motivating because the topics are highly relevant and immediately applicable to toddlers’ little lives.
So there you have it! The next time you need to pull out a screen, cut yourself some slack and remember that you’re helping them become better communicators in every way possible.
