The One Goal I Set That Changed My Entire Life

Photo: Pixabay

My name is Natasha Nurse and the goal that changed my life was choosing to be happy. This seems like an obvious goal that everyone should have, but sadly, it is not the case. So many people are unhappy in the United States (especially in New York).

It was December 2015, and I was told I was losing my job. When this happens to most people, the first thing they want to do is panic. For me, I saw an opportunity to live my life in a whole new way. I decided to live by the following six principles:

  1. Commit to my life motto: meet someone new and learn something new every day

  2. Be happy every single day

  3. Be daring and fearless, no matter what

  4. Accept there is no such thing as failure — only teachable lessons

  5. Live without regret (life is too short to live with regrets)

  6. Accept there is no such thing as no — only maybe not now or maybe with someone else

These principles helped keep me sane, focused and happy as I began my journey as an entrepreneur. This was the journey that not only gave me immense joy, but has led to opportunities in modeling, media, podcasting, radio broadcasting and journalism that I couldn’t have even imagined for myself.

The goal of being happy turned out to be the most important goal that I could have ever set for myself. Now, since living this way, I couldn’t imagine living any other way.

Now that you know my one goal that changed my life, I think it is important to focus on the practical steps I took to apply and stay committed to this goal. Here are my seven steps to success.

1. Get clear on your intention.

My one goal was happiness, because I was a person who focused on accomplishing many things in my life (starting at a very young age) but no one told me that I needed to make sure I was happy. Happiness was like an afterthought or completely irrelevant. I was groomed to be productive and accomplished. However, I soon realized accomplishments without a sense of happiness or joy was completely pointless, so I needed to make a change. I knew that if I shifted how I defined what success meant, then my entire life would change.

2. Create an action plan.

Goals are great. But if there isn’t an action plan in place, how likely are you to achieve that goal? Zero to None. For me to be happy, I needed to be very clear on identifying what made me happy. Luckily, I am fairly low maintenance, so the things on my happiness list include:

  • Reading everyday

  • Napping (when I really need it)

  • Dancing

  • Singing

  • Shopping (mostly on Vudu or Amazon)

  • Prioritizing my needs

  • Being creative (i.e. drawing, coloring, sketching, painting)

  • Creating and developing ideas with the hubby

  • Relaxing with the pets

  • Watching movies and television shows (no matter how many times I have watched them)

  • Working on my business (i.e. coaching, consulting, speaking at events, creating online content, etc.)

What was my action plan for happiness? It was simple. If I do at least one activity on this happiness list a day, then I was successful for the day. If I accomplish more than one activity, then I am a super star.

3. Eliminate distractors or deterrence.

Eliminating naysayers, haters and toxic people was a huge step for me to take to succeed. Why? Those individuals are drowning in their own misery so much, they can’t help but attempt to bring you down as well. For me, cutting these people out of my life was the only way  to have the freedom of time and mental capacity to focus on me, my business, and what I want to accomplish in this world. If you are determined to accomplish your goal, you will find yourself in the same boat (hint: this will be hard at first, but you will thank yourself repeatedly).

4. Hold yourself accountable.

When achieving a new goal, do you think it is important to have benchmarks along the way? Well, it is. In order to achieve a goal, you have to have tasks and steps along the way. You should attach deadlines to these to ensure your goal gets accomplished. As an overachiever, my goal is really a lifetime goal, so I needed to create a plan that required me to be accountable each day (aka Happiness Checklist). If you are working towards accomplishing a goal, how will you hold yourself accountable?

5. Be kind to yourself.

We can be our number one advocate or our very worst enemy. When we stumble or sometimes fall flat on our faces, it might seem natural to get down on ourselves. But I am here to tell you to stop it! This is neither helpful nor necessary for accomplishing your goal. Sometimes you are not going to hit the ball out of the park. Sometimes you will strike out. That is not only okay, it is a good thing. Stumbling or “failures” are a teachable moment where you can learn. Life is all about learning more about yourself and the world you live in.

If there are days where I don’t get to check something off my happiness list, I don’t tell myself that I failed. Instead, I accept that I didn’t take care of myself for the day. I identify what stood in the way of prioritizing my happiness, then make an action plan so that the next day I am back on target. Most of all, I am kind and understanding to myself. That is the only way to make sure I can start the next day with the best mindset and attitude possible.

6. Acknowledge every victory.

No victory is too small or too large to celebrate. By celebrating every victory, you are giving yourself motivation and confidence to keep pushing towards your goal. You can’t expect anyone to do this for you. Your goal will never be as important to anyone else as it is to you. So, smile and appreciate every victory along the way.

7. Document the process.

If you document your process (the good, the bad, and everything in between), then the following will happen:

  • You will have a record of the journey to look back and reflect on

  • You will see just how much blood, sweat, and tears went into achieving your goal

  • You will inspire others to pursue their dreams and to share their journey as well

  • You will publicly hold yourself accountable for what you are looking to achieve

It might not be easy to document the journey. When you achieve your goal however, you will be happy you took the time to document how you made your dream a reality!

—Natasha Nurse, for Fairygodboss
This post originally appeared on Fairygodboss.
Fairygodboss Georgene Huang & Romy Newman, Founders
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

As the largest career community for women, Fairygodboss provides millions of women with career connections, community advice and the hard-to-find intel about how companies treat women.

Kids have an innate desire to climb everything from kitchen counters to trees––and if they’re metaphorically climbing the walls at home, it’s time to give them a literal outlet. Whether your little monkey is all beginner or ready for bouldering, we’ve rounded up the best indoor rock climbing gyms in San Diego. Scroll through our slideshow to see where to scale new heights.

Grotto

Perfect for littles as young as 5, Grotto goers will learn the basics of climbing and will advance their overall technique, strength and confidence! Not only will your tiny mountaineer learn how to climb safely, they’ll take it to the next level with fun climbing games and team building exercises. This program offers low coach-to-student ratios so each climber will get one-on-one coaching as well as group coaching. Kiddos will learn the importance of stretching and training with a focus on great sportsmanship and team camaraderie!

Grotto also offers kids rock climbing camps all summer.

4460 Alvarado Canyon Rd.
San Diego, Ca 92120
619-283-2105
Online: grottoclimbing.com

photo: Grotto

Where do you take your fam for indoor rock climbing? Tell us in the comments below!

––Elizabeth Silva

Whether it’s your first baby or your fourth, you belly is bulging and life is about to change. Big time. And while taking one last big exotic trip may sound like a good idea around month five, the closer you get to your due date, the three big Cs are what make for the very best babymoon: Close, convenient and CHILL. We’ve rounded up seven winning spots in the Bay that are sure to satisfy and expecting couple’s cravings. Click through to see them all.

Pampering For Both Parents: Mellow Mommy at Timber Cove

California's number one baby moon expert wants to pamper parents to be at one of the coast's most stunning locales. Cindy Scott-Fuchs, a wife and mother of two, has been a certified massage therapist since 1994 and has been hosting private Mellow Mommy Babymoons at Timber Cove Resort (just before Sea Ranch on Highway 1) for the last ten years. But Timber Cove has recently undergone an incredible renovation, and so there is no better excuse visit than with baby on the way. Scott-Fuchs can customize your package to include everything from massages (for both moms and dads), facials, herbal foot wrap, a Prenatal Art of Relaxation coaching session and Babymoon Bundle Gift Package (think herbal bath tea, aromatherapy oils, infant massage video and more). Book your dream babymoon through Mellow Mommy's website.

 

Do you have a suggestion for the perfect local babymoon escape? Tell us in the comments below!

–Erin Feher

 

It may have been Stan Lee who penned, “with great power comes great responsibility,” but moms live this truth daily. Whether it’s heading a start up, running errands or coaching our sidekick’s weekend soccer game (or all of the above!), moms really do do it all. Flip through to meet 13 Seattle moms who prove you don’t need to wear a cape to have super powers.

Rachel Yang, Chef/Owner Revel, Joule, Trove and Revelry
Rachel Yang, mom to Pike (6) and Rye (4), and her chef husband, Seif opened their Seattle restaurant, Joule, 10 years ago, after moving from the East Coast. The first of four restaurants, Joule paved the way for all of their eateries becoming part of the community. Joule holds a special place for patrons and the people who work there: they’ve seen Rachel pregnant, peeked in on babes sleeping in car seats, and now watch as the boys run around in their home away from home. One of the Trove cooks grew up eating there, and now, ten years later, he’s learning how to cook alongside this master chef. Stories like these align with Rachel’s philosophy that her restaurants are more than a place to feed people, they “help them create everlasting memories of good times.”

If you’re wondering where Rachel’s ability to immerse herself in new experiences comes from, we can only imagine it has something to do with her move to the United States when she was 15. She not only survived, but thrived, learning a new language, a new culture and making new friends. All before she found her true calling after college: to cook. It’s not surprising that this multi-tasking mom enjoys doing the same with her boys. She says they’re both great helpers and definitely take after their parents in the kitchen, helping to make everything from breakfast to salads to delish baked goods. Yum!

Power Mom Pearl: “Between 4 restaurants and family to take care of, I am definitely busy. But I dedicate all my energy to those things that are most important to me. It doesn’t leave me much time for myself, but I am always very thankful for everything that I do have, rather than thinking about things that I don’t have time for.”

photo: Jackie Baisa

 

Do you know a Seattle Power Mom others should know about? Tell us about her in a comment. 

—Allison Sutcliffe

Blissful Baby Sleep Coaching just won a Totally Awesome Award for Best Parenting Program in Southern California. We recently spoke to Joanna Clark, the founder of Blissful Baby Sleep Coaching, about her experience as a business owner, the best advice she’s ever received and more. Hear what she has to say below!

Red Tricycle: Your community recently voted you “Best Parenting Program” – what do your customers value most about your business?
Joanna Clark: Sleep is bliss. You may have known that before becoming a parent, but you really know it now. And, when you’ve had a bad night of broken sleep, you really, really know it. My clients often reach out to me when they’re overwhelmed and completely exhausted. No one in the house is sleeping, and parents feel hopeless and irritable. My expert guidance and “hold-your-hand” Gentle Sleep Coaching approach resolves families’ sleep challenges. Ultimately, I help parents reclaim peaceful nights, and doing so has a huge positive effect on the whole family. The whole family enjoys consolidated, restorative sleep and the dynamic completely changes. Sleep—for parents and for their children—is fundamental to good health and happiness. It’s a magic elixir for wellbeing. With less stress, less guilt, and more free time for themselves and as a couple, parents thrive. That’s why I say, “Sleep is bliss, let’s get you some more!”

RT: What do you want people to know about your business that they don’t already know?
JC: Going to sleep independently and peacefully—and staying asleep—is a learned skill. As parents, we sometimes assume that sleeping is a developmental milestone that comes naturally, yet healthy sleep habits and the ability to self-soothe is learned skill. Babies and children need the right coaching, the right circumstances, and the right environment for practice and mastery. In teaching and coaching your child how to self-soothe to sleep, you give a lifelong gift to your child. What makes Blissful Baby Sleep Coaching different is that I offer an alternative to “cry-it-out” approaches to sleep training. I am a trained and certified Gentle Sleep Coach. I offer a full-service, proven system and live support to promote a gentle, reassuring, gradual change that results in healthy sleep habits.

RT: How did your business get started and what was the motivation?
JC: When I was a new mom, my child did not sleep. I was exhausted and I found it infinitely harder to meet my child’s needs with the energy and enthusiasm of which I knew I was capable. Searching for answers in a sleep-deprived haze, I found Kim West and her book Good Night Sleep Tight. This gentle and accessible methodology was my lifeline out of my own most-challenging time. From that point forward, “all things sleep” became my passion. I knew I had the skills and empathy to help other tired parents out of their own most-challenging times. In July 2011, I became one of the first 50 graduates of her Gentle Sleep Coach℠ Program, which is currently the most comprehensive and professional infant and child sleep coaching certification program available. As a pediatric sleep expert and certified Gentle Sleep Coach℠, I have helped over 500 families across North America. With all clients, I develop and implement a customized sleep plan to help the child to independently fall asleep and stay asleep. I offer an alternative to “cry it out” methodology. As a result, parents benefit from reassuring, parentally supported, gradual change that results in improved sleep habits and a well-rested family

RT: Tell us, what do you start your morning with: 1. coffee 2. tea 3. mimosa 4. water 5. all of the above.
JC: I start my morning with a freshly brewed pot of loose-leaf oolong tea.

RT: What is the most awesome thing a customer has ever done for you?
JC: A grateful client once bought me the most beautiful bud vase with a single rose. I was deeply touched and thrilled. My client didn’t know it, but I put fresh flowers on my desk and dining room table every week as a ritual to keep me grounded in beauty and the wonder of nature. So every week, I add a new flower bud to this vase. Doing so, lets me appreciate nature while simultaneously reminding me of the kindness of a client and how important my work is to families. It’s my mission to help families reclaim peaceful nights.

RT: What is your biggest pet peeve as a business owner?
JC: It’s time! I wish I had more of it. As a female-operated small business owner, as well as a mother and wife, I wish I could “expand” time so that I could not only help more clients each day, but also get “back to the mat”…yes, sadly my yoga mat sits rolled and dormant.

RT: How do you keep your stress levels down?
JC: In order to monitor my stress and tame the relentless “to-do” list scrolling through my mind, I always brew a fresh pot of Oolong tea every morning. I sit quietly in my yard, whether it is hot or cold, mosquitos or mist, and I sip my tea and I listen to the birds. I absorb a moment of gratitude and stillness before the bustle of the day. I am joined in this ritual each and every day by my fluffy, always loving, and always happy standard poodle, Hansi.

RT: What’s your secret superhero power as a business owner?
JC: I believe my superhero power is being incredibly perceptive while at the same time being an active and empathetic listener. These superhero powers allow me to masterfully guide parents to the right next steps to get them to where we all want to be: well-rested.

RT: Tell us, what is the best piece of advice you’ve ever received (as a parent or business owner)?
JC: As a business owner, the best piece of advice I’ve ever received is to consistently offer exquisite customer service and responsiveness. As a parent, the best piece of advice I’ve received is to make healthy sleep habits a priority for each and every family member. We model for our children what we want for them to incorporate in their own lives when they grow up.

RT: How about the worst piece of advice you’ve ever received?
JC: I am deeply dismayed by our cultural sentiment that time spent sleeping is “time wasted.” Sleep is critical to our health and wellbeing. As humans, we need consolidated sleep to recharge, refresh, and perform to our true potential each and every day. Sleep is just as important to health as good nutrition, physical activity, and wearing your seat belt.

RT: Is there a special offer you’d like to include for Red Tricycle readers?
JC: I’m offering Red Tricycle readers the chance to win a 45-minute consultation or a $50 discount on a full sleep coaching package. In order to enter the weekly drawing, readers must complete the following two tasks between now and 12/31/16: Task One: Go to http://www.blissfulbabysleepcoaching.com and download the Free Gift & Tips titled “Was your Child Awake Last Night?” Task Two: Go to Facebook and LIKE: Blissful Baby Sleep (https://www.facebook.com/blissfulbabysleep/) By completing these two tasks, readers will be entered into a weekly drawing. All winners will be notified by email and Facebook messenger.

 

Check out their website here.

 

Photo credit: Leah Valentine Photography

Inwood parents understand that they are raising children in one of New York City’s best kept secrets for families. The area offers the best of urban life while also often providing the feel of a close-knit, suburban neighborhood. If you’re an Inwood parent, read on and let us know if we missed something. (If you’re not, consider enjoying these Inwood family favorites in this rapidly-changing ‘hood!)

photo: Omar Z. via Yelp

1. You can be found on Sunday mornings babywearing at brunch at any of the trendy sidewalk cafés, sipping your mimosa and enjoying the laid back vibe.

2. Local lingerie shop Brazen (closed, but still online!) may have played a part in your child’s conception or nursing as a newborn, or perhaps helped you light a fire in the bedroom when you and your better half recovered from having a kid.

photo: Barbara Cioffi Giacometti via The Cloisters Facebook page

3. Whenever your child wants to get his or her “castle” on, you head to The Cloisters. (Also, as a result, your kid is certain unicorns are real.)

photo: Kristine Paulus via Flickr

4. At the announcement of the first heavy snow you rush to ready the sled for a day of fierce tobogganing at Inwood Hill Park.

5. Your kids are budding polyglots, thanks to music group in French, story time in Spanish and maybe even a coveted spot at one of the area dual-language schools. (Plus, they know how to pronounce “Spuyten Duyvil”.)

6. You know summer is coming once the horrible traffic begins on Dyckman and the crossing guards take over the streets.

photo: Charley Lhasa via Flickr

7. You’ve had your child on the Inwood Little League wait-list since birth and you can’t wait to be that competitive parent coaching your child from the sidelines.

8. Your freezer is so full of eggshells and peels you think twice about buying that tub of ice cream because it won’t fit until after your compost drop off at the Saturday farmers market.

photo Viral P. via Yelp

9. You can walk in any direction for good rice and beans no matter the time of day or night.

10. You know it’s election season when the merengue music and proclamations announcing local candidates blare from cars and trucks on the streets.

11. You forgo a holiday tree in your tiny living room and convince your kids that the annual Bruce’s Garden Tree Lighting Ceremony makes up for it.

photo: The All-Nite Images via Flickr

12. As soon as the number 1 subway train goes outdoors, you know you’re home.

What’s your quintessential Inwood parent experience? Tell us in the comments below! 

— Suzy Diaz

Her first fan jersey was a onesie, and she’s been playing catch with her oversized mitt since she started walking. Now you’re ready to take your little slugger out to the ball game, take her out with the crowds. Besides the peanuts and Cracker Jacks, stadiums have tons to offer their littlest fans. From Ferris wheels and mini golf, to coaching clinics and hands-on skills zones, we’ve loaded the bases with major league stadiums that’ve hit a grand slam when it comes to family perks. Flip through to see if your home team made the list!

Camden Yards – Baltimore, Md

Taking a time out with the tot lot at an Orioles game is a cinch with the Kids’ Corner, just off the C Gate. Here, wiggle worms can bounce around in the moon bounce, try to score big at skee-ball, and pose with oversized Oriole bird bobble-heads so parents can snap post-worthy pics of their tiny fan. This is also the spot where families can stop and snack a bit, amid a sea of black and orange. Psst…one of the reasons we dig Camden Yards is because it's totally cool for families to bring their own food into the park. This moola-saving feature means you can invest in team paraphernalia for your sidekick to remember the winning day!

All Star Play: Parents get to share in the Oriole love with sweet game day giveaways like infinity scarves and newsboys caps on Mother’s and Father’s Day.

photo: Todd Olszewski/Baltimore Orioles

What’s your favorite baseball stadium for the family? Have you been to any of these? Tell us about it in a comment!

—Allison Sutcliffe

When something heavy tugged on little Avery’s Barbie fishing pole, the last thing her dad and her expected was a whopping 20 inch bass! This adorable moment of cheering, coaching and excitement between father and daughter was uploaded to Youtube a few days ago and has been reeling in just loud “aws” ever since. Watch this proud poppa coach his excited lil’ fisher below!

Can you recall your first catch? Share your fishing memory with us in the Comments below!

— Christal Yuen

While it’s true that moms are rock stars in their own right, we think dads are pretty cool too. They drive carpools, whip up dinners, and host play dates. In honor of dad, we found eight of Southern California’s coolest dads who successfully balance their family lives and day jobs, all while making it look effortless. Click through our gallery to meet eight cool SoCal dads.

Darren Bennett

Sure, it’s pretty cool if your dad is an NFL Punter who was named to the Pro Bowl and All Pro team twice during his run with the San Diego Chargers and Minnesota Vikings. But what makes Darren Bennett a really cool dad is not his stellar football career, but what he’s done to raise awareness of his son, Will’s, battle with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (MD). Darren founded the Pro Player Foundation, which creates and oversees a number of different projects that benefit Duchenne MD research. Darren is also the Special Teams coach for the La Costa Canyon High School Football Team of which Will is an honorary player. When Darren is not coaching and raising awareness, he is a devoted family man, spending time with his wife and sons, Will and Tom.

We know there are dozens of cool dads out there. In fact, we bet you know several of them! Who else do you think deserves a spot on our list?

– Leah R. Singer

All photos courtesy of the featured dads