They may not be able to talk, but infants are constantly communicating with the world around them, and boy are they eager to let parents and caregivers know what they want at any given time. As a parent, it won’t take long to decipher your baby’s code—you know, those high-pitched gurgles that tell you your little one is hungry, or the eye rubs that let you know nap time is near. When you miss a subtle signal or two (and you will, trust us), you’ll be made well aware by your baby’s not-so-subtle cries. That’s when you think: Wouldn’t it be great if they could TELL me what they needed? That’s why some parents turn to sign language for babies as a more consistent way to communicate with their kids before they know how to “use their words.”
What is baby sign language?
Baby signs are very simple hand gestures, often based on American Sign Language (ASL), that help babies who aren’t yet speaking to communicate basic needs to hearing parents. Each sign corresponds to a word that is super relevant to an infant’s life, like wanting “milk” or needing “help.” Teaching your baby sign language allows your child to communicate their biggest needs and make sure they’re met, explains Laura Payne, MDE, a baby ASL expert and teacher. This lessens frustrations for both kids and parents and builds trust.
Payne explains that teaching your baby a few useful signs and building from there is a wonderful way to introduce them to a beautiful language while also helping them express their wants and needs throughout their daily routines. In doing so, you can consistently meet those needs, strengthening your attachment and boosting your confidence as a parent.
When should you start teaching sign language to your baby?
When are those adorable little hands ready to start forming signs? The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) suggests teaching your baby sign language beginning at 6 months. This is thought to be a good window because developmentally infants are learning how to gesture around this time, but this milestone really kicks into high gear at the 8-month mark. Payne stresses that you’re never too early or too late to start. “Babies are born needing to communicate with us,” she says. “So you can start at 6 months or you can start when they’re learning to walk.” You know your baby better than anyone, so give it a go when you feel ready.
The best way to teach your baby sign language is to choose signs that are important to you and your family and ones that you use a lot. Payne suggests starting with “high-functioning” words because they help your little one communicate their basic needs.
1. Milk
While keeping your hand steady in front of you, form the shape of a “C.” Then open and close your hand twice, ensuring your thumb closes over your fingers. You can start modeling this sign before your baby is old enough to do it themselves, and once they’re familiar with the sign you might see their eyes widen with excitement when they realize it’s milk time.
2. Eat
Make a rounded “O” with your fingers and then flatten your fingers out. Turn your fingers to face your chin and move them to your lips like you’re eating.
3. All Done
When signing “all done,” start with your palms facing in and the top of your hands facing out. In a quick motion, turn your palms to face out, and now you’re all done. Remember that you can use this sign in all kinds of situations, like during play and at the park—it’s not just for mealtime.
4. More
Bring your fingers and thumbs to touch and flatten both your hands—like the flat “O” when signing “eat.” Next, tap your fingers together and then pull them apart several times. Remember that your baby could be attempting this sign in any number of ways, from clapping their hands to tapping a single finger into the opposite palm.
5. Help
Your dominant hand is going to sign the letter “A” in ASL, or you can remember it as a thumbs up. Make a flat palm with your other hand and place it under your dominant hand. Raise both hands together to sign the word “help.”
How do you teach your baby sign language?
Payne recommends signing while saying the word at the same time, always remembering to embed the word in context. The next time you and your tot sit down to eat, this can mean signing the word for “eat” while using it in a sentence like, “It looks like you love to eat bananas” or “I see you eating those sweet potatoes.” This gives your little one the context of what the word means supported by the sign language. “I’d also recommend using statements over questions when you’re modeling [sign language],” Payne advises.
It’s important to incorporate signs into your daily life and be sure to repeat them, according to Baby Sign Language. Research shows that repetition can be critically important for learning, so try to sign before, during, and after an event, like a meal. Another great way to help your baby learn to sign is when you read together. Payne says to sit your child on your lap so they have a clear view of your hands and the book. This way your baby can see you sign words you’re introducing (or already using) as you read.
What are the benefits of sign language for babies?
As far as baby sign language goes, there are benefits for everyone involved. Babies can express their thoughts and needs more effectively, which means less frustration and fewer tantrums due to communication barriers. It also saves parents a lot of time and frustration. If your baby signs “eat” you’ll know to prepare their favorite sweet potatoes instead of jumping into trial-and-error mode, changing diapers and searching for favorite Loveys. Teaching your baby to sign sets everyone up for better communication.
Another benefit is that learning sign language is in line with your infant’s physical development. Payne says the muscles in your baby’s arms and fingers develop faster than those in their mouth, throat, and nasal cavity, so they can sign long before they actually say their first words. Some folks believe that using sign language with babies can delay their verbal communication, but research has shown just the opposite. According to recent studies, it can actually facilitate rather than hinder the development of voice language, per The National Library of Medicine. As Payne sums it up, “language supports language.”
Since sign language is multisensory—communicating through seeing, hearing (saying the words you’re signing), and creating movements—it also nurtures your kid’s cognitive development. “Children feel their body moving and it allows for a multisensory approach, which helps them learn best,” says Payne. And if all that wasn’t enough, signing also helps to strengthen the bond between a child and their parents or caregivers.
What if your baby seems disinterested?
All children learn at a different pace, so if you feel your infant isn’t picking up the signs you’re putting down, don’t panic. There are a number of potential causes if you’re feeling discouraged, like maybe your baby just isn’t ready to start signing, or they’re already signing but you haven’t realized or aren’t positively reinforcing their attempts. These are important pieces of the puzzle to consider. When your baby does start to show interest, positive reinforcement is key to building their self-esteem, which encourages them to sign more.
If you’re concerned about your baby’s ability to learn sign language, Payne suggests you seek out a professional for help. “Reaching out to an expert in the field can help parents and caregivers troubleshoot.”
No matter how hard you try, there will come a point in your parenting journey when you say something you assumed was harmless—but wasn’t. You might not notice it at first. It could even be something you grew up hearing in your own household. But sometimes, you’ll catch yourself and wonder if that was the right thing to say. Like when you find your child dumping their kinetic sand in the toilet and immediately respond with, “What is wrong with you?!” only to instantly see their faces turn, reminding you they’re just being kids.
Is it the worst thing to say “What is wrong with you?” to your child? Not exactly, but depending on your tone, you might end up causing them to feel shame—as if they’re a problem that needs to be fixed (which they clearly are not). So what are some other “harmless” phrases we should be looking out for day to day?
1. Anything that insinuates that expressing emotion is bad
No one likes to hear their child cry, but shedding tears is perfectly healthy. Unfortunately, we have several phrases that shame our kids out of feeling their feelings. “We are essentially teaching kids to ignore and push away feelings of sadness and anger, which are important emotions that signal our bodies to pay attention to triggers/important information,” says clinical psychologist and children’s book author Dr. Anjali Ferguson.
Stop crying and be a big boy/girl: Dr. Sanam Hafeez, neuropsychologist and director of Comprehend the Mind, says this phrase is harmful because it teaches children to suppress their feelings to fit into a specific gender stereotype or societal expectation of what it means to be “big.”
Boys don’t cry: Dr. Hafeez says this hurtful phrase reinforces toxic masculinity and can lead boys to suppress their emotions and feelings. “It’s crucial to teach boys that expressing their emotions is okay and that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness.”
Stop being so sensitive: Vanssa Kahlon, family interventionist and founder of Kahlon Family Services, says this phrase can invalidate children’s feelings. “It sends the message that expressing emotions is something to be ashamed of or avoided, which can be harmful to a child’s emotional development.
2. Eat everything on your plate.
Dr. Hafeez says that while it’s essential to encourage children to eat healthy and try new foods, this phrase can be harmful as it can lead to overeating and a negative relationship with food. “Instead, encourage children to listen to their bodies and eat until they are satisfied rather than forcing them to clean their plates,” she adds.
3. Be careful! You’re going to hurt yourself.
“While it’s natural to want to protect children from harm, this phrase can lead to unnecessary fear and anxiety. Children need opportunities to explore and take risks to learn and develop their physical and cognitive abilities,” says Dr. Hafeez. Instead of constantly warning kids to be careful, she recommends simply supervising and guiding them as they learn and grow.
It’s good to teach kids about safety, but Dr. Hafeez says this phrase can instill an unnecessary fear of people they don’t know. “Teaching children how to recognize unsafe situations, ask for help when needed, and communicate effectively with others is better,” she says.
5. That’s life.
Mendi Baron, LCSW and CEO of Moriah Behavioral Health, says adults tend to use this phrase as a catch-all for when something bad happens. This implication can cause a child to internalize that life is made up of awful things, causing unnecessary fear and worry. “We never say ‘That’s life’ to good things that happen. Explaining that certain things in life are going to happen is ok, but we tend to only generalize the negative things,” Baron says.
Baron says it’s important to acknowledge when you truly don’t know the answer to a question, but phrasing it this way doesn’t allow room for growth. More than that, this backfires on parents as he says it’s why our kids and teens end up defaulting to “I don’t know” when they want to avoid answering questions. “It’s better to say ‘That’s a good question,’ followed by, ‘I will find out the answer or look for an answer,’” Baron says.
7. You’re so smart!
It’s so easy to utter this seemingly benign phrase whenever your kid gets a good grade or figures out a complex problem, but it’s good to think twice before using it. “This phrase may seem like a compliment, but it can actually be harmful to a child’s self-esteem in the long run,” Kahlon says. “By constantly telling a child that they’re smart, they may start to feel pressure to live up to that label and become afraid of making mistakes or taking risks.”
8. Making a promise and not following through.
We’ve all been there. You really did mean to finish that game of Monopoly with your kid tomorrow, but then work ran late, and dinner needed to be made, and suddenly it’s 9 p.m. and everyone’s got to get to bed. While this is okay once in a while, you don’t want to make it a habit. “Children thrive on routine and predictability, so inconsistency can be harmful to their sense of stability and security,” Kahlon says. “It’s important to follow through with promises and set clear expectations to help children feel safe and secure.”
9. Anything relating to being “good” or “bad.”
Kahlon and Dr. Ferguson both offered examples that emphasize children’s behavior as good or bad, both of which can be harmful.
You’re being bad/naughty: “This type of labeling can be harmful to a child’s self-esteem and may lead them to internalize negative beliefs about themselves. Instead of labeling the behavior, try addressing it specifically and focusing on positive reinforcement for desired behavior,” Kahlon says.
Were you good today?: “This phrase gives the message that parental attention and/or affection is only provided when behaving well,” Dr. Ferguson says. She adds that this phrase also ignores the fact that it’s normal for moods to fluctuate and that even kids can have “tough days.” Instead, she recommends asking your child what they found challenging today, or what their wins or successes were. “For young children, you can even ask them what made them happy today and what made them sad,” she says.
Make sure you behave: Dr. Ferguson says that many times we say this with good intentions, hoping to promote positive behavior. “This statement can often be ineffective because it is not specific enough for what we want out of a child’s behaviors.” In the adult world, she compares it to getting a new assignment from your supervisor, who simply says “Do a good job” without offering any guidance on how to achieve that goal. “Instead, try giving 2-3 specific behaviors for children to focus on. For example, when walking into a new environment, remind your child to 1. Use walking feet, 2. Keep hands in your pockets, 3. Use an inside voice,” she says. This way, you’re setting up your child for success.
There are so many parts of parenthood that no one can prepare you for: the first time your baby smiles at you, the first time your child rides a bike, the first time your tween rolls their eyes at you… Yes, the transition from child to tween can be tough, but there are ways to navigate these choppy waters.
There are things you can avoid saying and some things you should lean into. When the child who used to tell you everything no longer opens up, when the child who used to be glued to your side doesn’t want to hang out, and when the child who used to smile every day seems more introspective, here are some ways to try to break through.
“I hear you.”
Many times, all any of us really want is someone to actually listen to us, and our tweens are no different. “Try to understand their perspective before offering suggestions,” the American Psychological Association recommends. “Sometimes your own anxiety can prompt you to try to fix everything. But in many cases, the best help you can offer is to listen attentively.”
“Is there anything I can help with?”
This ties into listening better, but as parents, we can’t always assume that we know what’s wrong. Ask your child for insight instead of meeting them with assumptions. “Do not assume that you know what’s wrong,” the National Health Service advises. “Rather than asking ‘Are you being bullied?’ try saying, ‘I’ve been worried about you. You don’t seem like your usual self, and I’m wondering what’s going on with you at the moment. Is there anything I can help with?'”
“I’m so proud of you.”
This is something we remember to say when our child lands on the honor roll or has a similar amazing accomplishment—but do you remember to say it when your child is just being themselves? I’ve raised an empathetic child, and that’s something I’m very proud of. When I see him saving snacks for his sister or telling me a story about talking to a child who was sitting alone at lunch, I make sure to let him know how proud I am of him and of his character. Pride doesn’t always need to be saved for measurable achievements—like trophies or wins.
“I’m sorry.”
Parents are human, and as such, will make mistakes. We can’t expect that we are always going to model perfect behavior to our children, and when we mess up—we should own it. “Apologizing to your children shows them that you as a parent are willing to take responsibility when you lose your cool or do something hurtful,” advises Sarah Epstein, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “When parents refuse to apologize, it shows the child that their parent is never willing to take responsibility simply because they are the parent. It erodes trust.”
Make it about them.
This isn’t a specific phrase; it’s rather the absence of a very specific word from time to time—”I.” Remember to center your child in the conversation. “Business people are often trained to say, ‘I understand you feel…’ This phrase doesn’t work with kids because it shifts the attention to ‘I’ the adult rather than ‘you, the child, who wants and needs to feel heard,'” says Eileen Kennedy Moore, a psychologist who specializes in parenting, child development, mental health, and social emotional learning, and the author of Kid Confidence: Help Your Child Make Friends, Build Resilience, and Develop Real Self-Esteem. “Use the word ‘you’ and avoid ‘I’ to keep the focus of your empathic comments on your child.”
“Can you show me how you did that?”
The tween years are about the time you start to learn there are things your child knows more about than you. Give your child a reason to get excited about telling you about new interests by showing them you are invested in the idea that they are growing and learning—and probably know more about fifth-grade math than you.
“No.”
The ability to say “no” is something that we can all learn from, and saying “no” to your child teaches them the importance of boundaries. “It does [a child] no favor to be taught that ‘no’ is the opposite of ‘nice,’ to be raised and praised as someone who is always agreeable, never complains, pleases at all costs, goes along to get along, bows to disagreement, and suffers dissatisfaction in silence,” explains Psychology Today. Your child is going to be up against so many situations in life that challenge their beliefs and surface the need to make important decisions. Modeling “no” as a healthy, normal response is critical.
Parenting is no walk in the park, and sometimes it feels like the cards are stacked against us: work, dealing with tantrums (be it your toddler or tween), laundry, inflation on just about everything. That’s why it is more important than ever to offer some positive reinforcement… to yourself! We talked to the experts and came up with 15 positive affirmations to write down, display, or pull out on the days or in the moments when you need a lift.
Why positive affirmations can make you a better parent
We asked renowned parenting expert Reena B. Patel why positive affirmations matter. Patel, who is also a licensed educational psychologist, board-certified behavior analyst, and the author of Winnie & Her Worries, reminds us that positive affirmations are rooted in positive psychology. “Positive, simple statements help shift your focus away from perceived failures and direct your focus toward your strengths,” says Patel. “We believe and act upon what we think, thus leading to self-fulfilling prophecies if we focus only on what we are not good at. There is power in positive thinking. Positive emotions are linked with better health, longer life, and greater well-being.”
Patel also suggests that, whenever possible, parents try to state their affirmation while looking at themselves in the mirror, and by saying the statement multiple times a day (at least three is ideal). Use positive “I’ statements and place a visual of the words in an area that you can see daily as a reminder, she adds.
1. I am a good parent. It’s easy to criticize ourselves and focus on how we think we’re failing as a mom or dad. But parenting is tough, and we’re all doing the best we can. Acknowledge that fact, and tell yourself out loud, every day, that you’re a good parent.
2. Loving myself is the greatest gift I can give to my child. Kids are sponges and they learn from us. So if your kiddos know you appreciate yourself, they will learn to love themselves. That’s one of the greatest gifts we can give our kids.
3. I’m not perfect. We all know that nobody is perfect. But we place a big expectation on ourselves as parents to be pretty close to it. Repeating that mantra is a great reminder that it’s okay to be human, not to be perfect.
4. I can only control myself. It’s so hard, but one of the best ways to help kids grow emotionally is to exhibit mature behavior. Debbie Pincus,MS LMHC, says, “When we react emotionally to our kids and lose control, we’re allowing our kids to determine how we behave rather than the other way around.” Next time your kid throws a massive fit, try to stay calm and see what happens.
5. I am willing to learn and grow. Patel reminds us that it is critical to embrace change and growth, even when things seem tough. After all, it’s what we’d tell our kids, right? 6. Today is a new day. It’s easy to focus on how yesterday was a bad day. Sanah Rizvi, the founder of The Psych Way, suggests shifting the self-talk to focus on how every day is a chance to make progress toward what you want and the person you want to be.
7. I’m doing the best I can do. At the end of the day, that’s all we can do. Repeating that mantra every day will help you accept it as truth.
8. I make good decisions for my kids. This positive affirmation is a tough one to remember, especially when little ones are very vocal about making their displeasure with our decisions known. Parent Trust points out that moms and dads know they’re making the right choices for their kids. Embrace it and repeat the statement to yourself as a reminder.
9. I’m going easy on myself today. Permit yourself to take it easy. Say it out loud and grow comfortable with the idea.
10. It’s okay to ask for help, and what’s more, I deserve it. It’s time to take control of your needs and be OKAY with asking for help. You’ll be surprised to find out how many people are willing to step up if you just ask them.
11. Parenting is exhausting. Every parent knows this statement to be true. Writer Lauren Tamm suggests repeating this mantra as a reminder that taking care of kids is hard work. No wonder we’re so tired at the end of the day!
12. I am loved. Motherhood can be a thankless job, and little ones aren’t known for their compliments. Parent coach and family therapist Nicole Schwarz reminds moms that even though their kids may not say it, they really do feel that way. You just may need to put words to it.
13. I am what my kiddo needs. At the end of the day, there’s nothing else that’s as true as that statement.
14. It won’t always be like this. The one thing we know for sure is that hardships always pass. From colicky babies to navigating social media with tweens, one day, you’ll find yourself on the other side.
15. I do not need to compare. ” I know my kids the best, and comparisons do not serve me. If I notice myself comparing, I will quickly let it go,” Patel says. And that’s a lead worth following.
Dropping these behaviors can do your kids a world of good
Being a parent is one of the most difficult jobs in the world, and even those of us who give it our all sometimes miss the mark; things we say or do can be so subtle we don’t realize we’re doing our kids a disservice. In a now-viral Instagram post, childhood therapist Morgan Pommels explains: “Your parents could have been trying their absolute hardest, and yet they still could have made deeply hurtful mistakes.” Pommels goes on to highlight five common ways that even the most loving parents can unintentionally harm their children, some of which we’d never really thought about before.
1. Viewing your children as an extension of yourself
“A common but outdated parenting belief is that children are simply extensions of their parents,” Pommels writes. “This leads parents to adopt a more controlling parenting style, ultimately preventing children from exploring their true selves. In reality, children are entirely separate individuals with their own thoughts, feelings, and life goals. Viewing them as an extension of yourself can foster codependency, enmeshment, and low self-worth.”
2. Hoping your children succeed in all the ways you didn’t
“It’s natural to want your children to succeed, but expecting them to fulfill the specific achievements you couldn’t accomplish is about your development, not theirs,” she writes. “Doing so can instill a deep sense of failure and worthlessness in a child, making them feel perpetually inadequate regardless of their successes. Remember, it’s not your children’s job to fulfill the lifelong goals you once held for yourself.”
Instead, parents should support their kids as they create—and pursue—their own goals, whatever those may be, and whether they succeed or not.
3 Invalidating your children’s emotions and experiences
“Parents who use emotional invalidation normally struggle with seeing their child upset, and thus turn to minimization as a way to cope with their own distress,” Pommels writes. “But doing so can cause children to feel neglected emotionally. It’s important to remember that children aren’t looking for you to tell them if they are in pain or not, they are looking for you to tell them that *it’s okay* that they’re in pain.”
Along with this, many parents tend to hide their own emotions from their kids. But showing vulnerability (as uncomfortable as it might be for some) fosters deeper connections and reminds kids that you understand the emotional ups and downs.
4 Enforcing your belief systems without your child’s consent
“While there is nothing inherently wrong with educating your child on a certain belief or value system that you find important, children will still eventually shape their own worldview,” she writes. “As they grow up, they deserve to have a space to become curious about what belief or value system works for them. Resorting to shame or punishment to enforce your beliefs not only undermines their self-esteem, it also sabotages the trust they have with you.”
This one may be difficult for many parents, but it’s part of understanding that your kids are individuals in their own right—separate from you. You have to let them forge their own path, and that includes having their own set of beliefs.
5. Teaching your children to always be polite or “nice” to authority figures
“Teaching manners is key to socialization, but kids also need to learn to assert boundaries and say no, even to adults,” she writes. “This is especially true for girls, who often get the message they shouldn’t take up space or ask for their needs to be met. This carries into adulthood, making women less likely to set boundaries at work or decline unwanted advances, out of fear of being labeled ‘not nice’ or worse.”
This one is so, so important. Even authority figures can act in bad faith—and we all need to learn that it’s OK not to let others disrespect us just because they hold power over us.
If you were on the receiving end of one or more of these actions during childhood, Pommells offers this advice: “It’s okay to pause and let yourself just be hurt. Your wounds don’t go away just because they may have been caused ‘unintentionally.'” And, if you have done any of these things to your kids, it’s never too late to recognize the pattern and break it.
Kids, including toddlers, love to be entertained, but when it comes to plopping them in front of the television, the parent guilt can be real. However, not all movies are created equally, so we came up with a list of the best movies for toddlers that provide valuable and simple lessons about friendship, teamwork, and kindness. The plots are straightforward, and the visuals, dialogue, and songs are all engaging enough to hold a toddler’s limited attention span. The movies on this list are family-friendly, many of them offer educational lessons, and all of them offer a chance to cuddle up with your budding cinephiles. (Curious about which films to watch when they get a bit older? We’ve got those, too.)
Flipping the tale of Bigfoot around, this flick sees a lovable yeti named Migo come face-to-face with the mythical creature Smallfoot, aka a human. Unfortunately, no one believes him. So with his friends by his side, Migo leaves the grounds of his village to see what other wonders might exist in the world.
Where it’s streaming: Max
Why it’s great for toddlers: Simply said, yetis are cool! And Channing Tatum does a great job making Migo so likable that you can’t help but root for him. That being said, just a head’s up that there is some tension and mild fighting between humans and yetis whenever they meet. Oh, and the soundtrack is also stacked with sing-along friendly tunes by Zendaya and James Cordon.
When clownfish Marlin’s young son Nemo gets captured, he goes on an animated adventure across the ocean to find him. Marlin gets some help from absent-minded fish Dory, meets some laid-back turtles, and escapes the clutches of hungry seagulls in this well-loved film that debuted 20 years ago.
Where it's streaming: Disney +
Why it’s great for toddlers: Toddlers can learn about ocean life in a fun and colorful way, while also picking up positive lessons on friendship and the importance of family. Parents should note that some of the predator fish may frighten very young viewers.
Canine Blue gets her first feature-film musical adventure complete with song and dance numbers. Instead of placing Blue in an animated world, as the television series does, the film finds Blue and her human companion Josh in a very real and vibrant New York City. They are heading to an audition for a Broadway show and need help from passersby and viewers when they get lost.
Where it's streaming: Paramount +
Why it’s great for toddlers: The songs are engaging, and toddlers will want to dance and sing along. With the same format as the television show, young viewers can follow the paw print clues right along with Blue and Josh, involving toddlers in the journey. Parents will also enjoy the message that dreams can come true and may find seeing previous hosts Steve and Joe a nostalgic bonus.
The Daniel Tiger Movie: Won't You Be Our Neighbor
PBS
Daniel and the whole Tiger clan welcome a new family to the neighborhood with the hopes of making them feel welcome. Daniel hopes to find a new friend. If kids like this movie, they can also watch Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood: Tiger Family Trip
Where it's streaming: Amazon Prime
Why it’s great for toddlers: Based on the characters from the PBS television series, Daniel Tiger is a positive role model who provides kids with a fun way to learn some valuable lessons surrounding friendship and kindness. He also teaches young kids basic social skills and problem-solving with simple language in terms they can understand. Daniel also speaks directly to kids.
When koala Buster Moon is faced with the deterioration of a theater he runs, he comes up with an ingenious idea, a singing competition. The competitors are all animals, each with their own personality and unique voice (think a stay-at-home pig who desperately needs something for herself, a stage-shy elephant with an incredible voice, and a gorilla hoping to make his own way in the world). The film’s characters are voiced by Matthew McConaughey, Reese Witherspoon, and Seth MacFarlane, among others.
Where is it streaming: Amazon Prime, Hulu (with Live TV)
Why it’s great for toddlers: Parents and kids will notice popular songs that are featured on playlists and the radio, and many toddlers may even be able to sing along with the adorable animal characters. Lessons on believing in yourself, the importance of friendly competition, and supporting others will please parents who can help younger viewers pick up on these themes throughout the film.
A flashy new toy space ranger named Buzz threatens old-school cowboy action figure Woody, who fears the young boy whose bedroom he shares no longer wants him. This film, the first in the iconic franchise, features several toys like Mr. Potato Head, toy soldiers, and a piggy bank coming to life when the child who owns them isn’t around.
Where is it streaming: Disney +
Why it’s great for toddlers: Parents can share some of their own childhood memories through the cast of classic toy characters they may have played with growing up, including a toy tape recorder, an Etch A Sketch, a barrel of monkeys, a troll doll, and the Magic 8Ball. Toddlers will also delight in the idea of toys magically coming to life. Parents should know that some words may not be suitable for toddlers, including ‘shut up’ and ‘idiot.’ There are also some darker moments where toys get hurt or do mildly scary things to protect themselves.
Things get interesting at Mossy Bottom Farm when a space alien shows up, but she isn’t there to take over the world. Will Shaun and the gang be able to get her back to her own planet before she is captured by a nefarious organization?
Where is it streaming: Netflix
Why it’s great for toddlers: Young viewers will delight at the simplicity of the dialogue, which is just a series of expressive sounds. Parents will appreciate the lessons surrounding inclusion and friendship that they can share with their kids as they watch.
Young bee Barry B. Benson, who just graduated college, wants to do more than become a part of the hive in this comedy starring Jerry Seinfeld. He befriends a human and realizes he may have a great purpose other than honey-making. Some A-list stars lend their voices to the film including Oprah Winfrey, Chris Rock, and Kathy Bates.
Where it's streaming: Netflix
Why it’s great for toddlers: This family friendly movie lets parents enjoy the comedy of Jerry Seinfeld while their toddlers can easily follow the story. The movie also has great lessons about teamwork and unique relationships, like the one between Barry and Vanessa. After watching the film, parents can follow up with an educational lesson on how bees really make honey.
With a modern look, the Peanuts gang gets its very own film. Parents will enjoy seeing the loveable characters from their youth embark on new adventures as Charlie Brown tries to go from a loveable loser to someone who can impress the new girl.
Where it's streaming: Disney +
Why it’s great for toddlers: The movie clocks in with a runtime of just 93 minutes, making it short enough to sustain young viewers' attention. It also touches on important themes like friendship and self-esteem, and almost all of the characters are voiced by actual child actors instead of adult Hollywood stars.
In what feels like a magical mashup of Finding Nemo and The Little Mermaid, a five-year-old boy rescues Ponyo, a goldfish princess. Liam Neeson, Matt Damon, Tina Fey, and Betty White lend their voices to this animated fantasy film helmed by master filmmaker, Hayao Miyazaki.
Where it's streaming: HBO Max
Why it’s great for toddlers: The colorful and simplistic animation in the film will draw toddlers in and keep them captivated for the nearly two-hour runtime. Ecofriendly messages will also appeal to parents.
This '90s film will bring many parents back to childhood. Babe, the title character, proves he is more than just an average pig (His talents include the ability to herd sheep.). This children’s classic won an Academy Award and garnered multiple nominations, including one for Best Picture.
Where is it streaming: Amazon Prime, Apple TV
Why it’s great for toddlers: Young viewers will enjoy the various farm animal characters, especially the tiny mouse chorus, which adds a musical element to the film. It also gives kids a chance to see farm life from the perspective of the animals.
PAW Patrol: The Movie
Courtesy Spin Master
Ryder and his crew must step up when infamous cat-lover and troublemaker Mayor Humdinger causes chaos in Adventure City. The rescue pups even have a new friend, Liberty, a delightful dachshund.
Where is it streaming: Paramount +
Why it’s great for toddlers: Toddlers will be excited to see their favorite pups from the television series in this animated feature-length adventure. The engaging storyline and introduction of new vehicles and rescues will keep them on the edge of their seats.
In this 2006 film, race car superstar Lightning McQueen gets sidelined in the small community of Radiator Springs while on his way to a big event. While not happy about it at first, Lightning begins to realize that there is more to life than racing and stardom, and he may have found it in the small town with its eclectic cast of characters. Young viewers can catch Cars 2 and Cars 3 if they love the first film.
Where it's streaming: Disney +
Why it’s great for toddlers: The lessons surrounding winning and the value of friendship are important ones that parents can explore with their kids as they watch the film. The colorful animation and cast of characters will keep even the youngest viewers entertained. Parents should note that there is some mild language in the film such as hell.
The famous and timeless bear goes on an unexpected adventure with his friends. They must rescue his human friend, Christopher Robin whom they believe has been taken by a horrible monster called the Backson.
Where it's streaming: Disney +, Amazon Prime
Why it’s great for toddlers: This timeless classic focuses on some of the sweetest and most caring bonds of friendship, and the Pooh gang are examples of positive role models who are selfless and kind. Young viewers will also delight in the songs and the simplicity of the story.
One Big Ocean
Based on the educational PBS preschool series, the film features characters Splash and Bubbles leaving their home and heading out into the vast ocean. They meet many types of ocean creatures and explore a variety of topics.
Where is it streaming: Amazon Prime
Why it’s great for toddlers: Educational concepts such as biodiversity and migration are presented in a way that young viewers can understand. The colorful characters, ocean environment, and fun songs will keep toddlers entertained as they learn valuable lessons about unity and the importance of caring for our undersea world.
A rare macaw named Blu decides to leave behind the comfort of his Minnesota home and head to Rio de Janeiro after meeting Jewel. Jewel, another rare macaw, is different than the domesticated Blu. Their differences lead to adventures neither of them ever imagined. The film features the voices of Jesse Eisenberg, Anne Hathaway, and Neil Patrick Harris.
Where it's streaming: Hulu, Disney +
Why it’s great for toddlers: Rio is filled with vibrant colors, positive messages, and role models, including the independent female Jewel. The catchy music in the film will also hold the attention of toddlers. There is some mild language like ‘idiot’ and ‘shut up,’ a few scary characters, and some scantily-clad people at Carnival.
Remy, a rat, wants nothing more than to become a great chef. When he finds himself living under a fancy Parisian restaurant, the culinary scene will be forever changed. The characters are voiced by some of the funniest names in comedy including Patton Oswalt, Will Arnett, Brad Garrett, and Janeane Garofalo.
Where it's streaming: Disney +
Why it’s great for toddlers: With an interesting plot, plenty of humor, and colorful animation, the film will appeal to toddlers and parents. Parents should be aware that some scenes may be a bit intense for younger viewers, especially one featuring a gun-wielding granny.
The Muppets Take Manhattan
Sony Pictures
In this classic 1980s film featuring Jim Henson’s muppets, Kermit the Frog and his friends graduate from college and head to Manhattan to take Broadway by storm with their new show. Once they get to the Big Apple, they realize things aren’t so simple and showbiz is tougher than they could have imagined.
Where is it streaming: Paramount +, Amazon Prime
Why it’s great for toddlers: Young viewers will enjoy the cute and funny muppets, each with a unique personality. They will also love the musical dance numbers peppered throughout the film. Parents should know that the film does feature some adult humor and smoking.
Little ones can be tricky to buy for. Well, unless you have our guide to gifts for toddlers
They’re not babies, and they’re not quite little kids. Our 18-24 month littles are at a special age where they’re exploring everything, eager to learn, and ready for anything. So, if you’re having trouble coming up with presents for them, you’re not alone. We’ve rounded up some of the best gifts for toddlers this season to make your job as Santa much easier.
There are puzzles, sweet stuffies, and even enchanted silk scarves. Of course, there are also the classics like a play barn, a soft baby doll, their first tea set, and Mickey even makes an appearance. Combining well-known characters and some new friends, we made sure there’s something for every kiddo on our list. We’re pretty sure you won’t have to look further than this list to create a magical holiday. Read on for our picks for gifts for toddlers.
LeapFrog Build-a-Waffle Learning Set
LeapFrog
Their favorite breakfast will easily become their new favorite toy that teaches them colors, numbers, and following directions.
Their favorite friends are all cozying up to their bedtime stories on these absolutely darling pajamas. They're created with Little Sleepies' famous Lunaluxe Bamboo.
It's a stroller and a trolley. Made of handwoven rattan, little ones just need to flip the lid and they can go from strolling their stuffed animals around to doing the shopping.
Stapelstein Stepping Stones are the original play 'stones'. They're soft, stackable, sturdy, and can be used in a ton of imaginary ways to get your little one's creativity flowing (plus, they're really convenient to use as seats, stools, or steps). Available in Original Rainbow or Pastel.
This starter DUPLO set pulls off a holiday gifting hat trick: It's a building toy, a vehicle (and we all know how much toddlers love pushing around anything on wheels), and it helps introduce them to numbers.
Sarah's Silks is all about open-ended play. Tactile toddlers will love the lightweight, floaty fabrication that lets them create and play for hours. These Mini Playsilks grow with them, long after they're done playing.
The best thing about silicone toys? They're dishwasher-safe and quiet! We love a great kitchen set for open-ended imaginative play, especially when you're trying to get stuff done in the kitchen and your mini-me wants to join in.
The Play-Doh Ride-On Activity School Bus includes 3 cans of Play-Doh, 10 numbers stamps, 6 shape cutters, and 1 roller. Just lift up the ride-on seat to reveal the play set.
This baby koala is so precious. Made from natural Peruvian cotton yarn, not only is it soft and collectible; it's heirloom-quality, so they'll have something to treasure for years.
Your little one will love this cute vintage-style music player, complete with rainbow light show, music, and color call-outs (not to mention headphones).
Remember those old-school bright cardboard bricks? They got an update with Bricklettes. They fit into your home's decor and the starter set of 10 is great for kiddos who have just started stacking.
All the products listed are independently & personally selected by our shopping editors.
If you buy something from the links in this article, we may earn affiliate commission or compensation. Prices and availability reflect the time of publication.
A positive attitude about yourself goes a long way when it comes to building self-esteem in kids
How many times have you looked in the mirror and frowned at the outfit you’re wearing, or thought twice about eating dessert because it’s a “bad food” (even though it’s not)? Definitely a few, because you’re human, after all. But it’s important to take stock of the things you say when the kids are around and do your best to present yourself as a strong, confident parent.
Kids learn about body positivity and self-confidence from their parents long before they internalize perceived ideals of how they should look on YouTube or social media. And if they have a strong foundation of self-esteem, those messages will have far less of an impact when they do, inevitably, encounter them. We rounded up 9 things to say—and believe!—about yourself in front of your kids so you can help them learn to take pride in who they are.
1. I look nice today. Say it when you’re tired, say it when you feel a cold coming on, say it even if you haven’t showered in a few days. Little ones learn by example; if they hear you speaking positively about yourself, it becomes second nature to do the same. Projecting self-confidence shows worthiness—despite the negative messaging that bombards us daily.
2. That was challenging, and I’m going to try again. Showing you are okay with failure helps kids develop the tools necessary for dealing with disappointment. It might be handy to have a list of people who failed before finding success on hand: think Albert Einstein, Michael Jordan, and Oprah.
3. I made a mistake. It might be one of the hardest things to do, but admitting when we are wrong is one of the best ways to show (and teach) personal responsibility. And that’s a life skill everyone needs.
4. Food keeps me healthy and happy. How you talk about food with kids has a major impact on how they look at their bodies and health. If you practice food neutrality (broccoli is broccoli, a cookie is a cookie—nothing is “good” or “bad”), it’ll help to set the stage for kids to learn the balance of fueling the body and enjoy the pleasures of the food itself.
5. I am proud of my job. Whether you’re a stay-at-home parent, work remotely, or head out to a job, show pride in what you do! Talking about what you do all day shows the kids that while you might be busy, it’s for a good reason—not because you don’t want to read Dragons Love Tacos for the 10th time.
6. I’m glad my body protects me and keeps me alive every day. We can kick a soccer ball, push a swing, and play a board game, and we can do it all without being the “right size.” Referring to your body as something you use as a tool for life is key to helping kids develop a positive self-image.
7. This outfit makes me feel beautiful. Raise your hand if you’ve found yourself cursing while trying on clothes because something doesn’t look quite right. Try focusing on things you like about what you’re wearing: this color complements my skin tone, these leggings are perfect for our park play date, and this hat makes me stand out in a crowd. Pointing out the good instead of the bad is a way to encourage self-love and confidence.
8. I enjoy exercising because it makes me feel strong. Moving our bodies is about so much more than losing weight. It’s about how exercise is good for our brain, helps us ward off illness, and prolongs our lifespan. In today’s tech-driven culture, driving home these ideas is more important than ever.
9. I believe every day is a new chance to start over. It’s easy to let negative thoughts rule our mindset. Yes, life is tough, but it’s also beautiful, and we only get one go of it. A wonderful gift (or tool) you can give your kids is the ability to look at the present and the future and understand that everything moves forward. We alone can make change for ourselves, even if it’s something as tiny as writing down notes of gratitude or as big as demanding the help you need.
There are some ways to stop your kid from instantly tuning out
The big kid years are difficult—and not just for kids themselves. The grade-school/tween age encompasses kids between 8 and 12, the bridge between childhood and teenager-dom. One day your kid is playing with Barbies, and the next day everything you say is boring and they want you to buy them makeup. It’s not easy to make this transition with your child, and communication can definitely suffer.
Allow your kid the space to grow out of behavior you may view as problematic without constantly reminding them that they once engaged in it. “Young adolescents are changing so rapidly, anything they did last month was done by an entirely different person,” Kennedy-Moore says.
“Try to start every day with a clean slate for your child. One of the most loving things we can do as parents is to develop amnesia for the mistakes and struggles our kids have had in the past. This gives them room to grow instead of anchoring them to the past, and helps us be open to embracing the new people they are becoming.”
2. “When I was your age”
You may think you’re being relatable, but trying to convince your kid you know how they feel because you were also a kid once is probably not going to work. “Tweens will instantly tune you out if you start talking about ‘ancient history,’ especially if they’re talking with you about a problem,” says Kennedy-Moore. “And they have a point: the world has changed drastically.” We didn’t live through a pandemic as a kid or even imagine a world where everyone would have a cell phone in their pocket.
Give kids the space to explain themselves without weaving your own life experience into the equation. That’s not to say you should never talk about yourself—just be sure to center your child when they come to you with a problem.
3. “You should just…”
Be aware of language that immediately belittles your child’s experience. “Your tween’s dilemmas may not seem difficult or important compared to adult concerns, but they matter to your kid,” Kennedy-Moore reminds us. Work with your child to unpack their own feelings about what is going on in a given situation, rather than trying to resolve the issue for them—and in doing so, maybe inadvertently making it seem like whatever they’re going through “isn’t a big deal.”
4. “I miss the age you were when…”
One day you have a child following you around everywhere and hanging on your every word, and the next day that same child would rather do anything else than hang out with you. That’s tough! But we have to remember that developing independence during the tween years is normal, and not an attack on who we are as parents or people.
“This stage can also be difficult because we may feel a new distance separating us from our young adolescents,” Kennedy-Moore explains. “It can be confusing and hurtful when our beloved children suddenly seem to view everything we say or do in the worst possible light.”
So what do we do? Kennedy-Moore says this is the perfect time for you to move toward greater independence, too. “Developing interests and enjoyable activities beyond your role as a parent is satisfying, and it helps you keep things in perspective.”
This is probably the hardest one because as parents we know that there is a lot to remind kids of at this age! But are we being excessive? Couple this with the fact that their stress tends to rub off on us, and you may find yourself in an environment ripe for nagging and power struggles. “Nagging irritates teens,” says Kennedy-Moore. “If you have an important point to make, compress it down to one sentence, say it, and then get out of the room. The parent-vs-kid battle is too easy for teens.”
And of course, be gentle with yourself. This too shall pass, and it is really difficult to witness the transition from an ever-dependent child to an increasingly independent tween.
Already, one-third of kids ages seven to nine—and half of all 10- to 12-year-olds—are using sites like TikTok, Instagram and Snapchat
We live in a world where our baby’s first steps are just as likely to be posted online as they are to be saved in the baby book, so is it any wonder our kids are clamoring to get on social media? According to this study from the University of Michigan, one-third of kids ages seven to nine and half of all 10- to 12-year-olds are already using sites like TikTok, Instagram and Snapchat. And with all the news about how social media may damage kids’ self-esteem, potentially attract sexual predators, and encourage online bullying—exactly how worried should parents be?
“Parents are generally concerned about kids’ safety when it comes to online predators,” says Patrick Quinn, a former teacher and the official parenting expert for Brainly.com, an online homework help site run by teachers and kids. “But the bigger danger is the matter of kids not being able to realize that everything on the internet isn’t exactly true. Everybody wants to put their best foot forward online.”
Consequently, self-esteem can take a hit. According to a 2019 Johns Hopkins study, teens who spent more than three hours a day on social media were likely to see negative mental health impacts. That said, Quinn believes there are plenty of redeeming qualities of social media platforms. Finding connections and community support, for instance, can be important, especially for teens and tweens who feel isolated or different.
So what’s a parent to do? According to experts, best practices include installing good parental controls, setting clear rules, and teaching kids what good “digital hygiene” means. “We recommend sitting down with your child and talking through any new apps they’d like to download,” says Titania Jordan, Chief Parenting Officer for the BARK parental control app and the author of Parenting in a Tech World. “Discuss the pros and cons of each, keeping in mind that ‘because everyone else has it’ isn’t the best of arguments. But be sure to listen to what they have to say. Their research and passion may surprise you.” Now then: What’s a Snap? How do you Twitch? Who can DM your kids? From Facebook and Instagram to Twitch and Discord, here are the pros and cons of social media for kids.
Ask your child to sign a social media contract (we love this one from iMom) that lays out the general rules for what kids can and can’t do on social media—and what will happen if they break these rules. If you’re not sure your child can police themselves, parental control apps can help by setting bedtimes, setting screen limits, and blocking apps or sites you don’t want your child to use.
“When you make your expectations clear, your child will have a better understanding of what they can do and when,” Jordan says. Also, when your child signs up with a social site, make sure they add you as a “friend” so that you can see and monitor what they are posting. Kids should also give parents their login information so they can check up on what they’re doing online.
Some things to talk about before letting your kids loose on any social media platform:
Knowing the difference between “real-life” friends and online “friends”
Understanding that pictures posted on social media don’t tell the whole story (and that, despite how it looks, nobody has a perfect life)
The dangers of misinformation
Understanding that strangers who contact them online may not be who they say they are
The importance of never disclosing personal information online
Make sure to make space for “digital downtime” to keep life balanced
Understanding that anything you put online may be seen and shared by others
How parental control and privacy settings within individual apps can keep them safe
What is it? An image-sharing site that allows users to view and post pictures and videos.
What do kids do on Instagram? Share their photos and view their friends' feeds, as well as keep tabs on celebrity feeds and follow users (often strangers) with similar interests. Users can also communicate via direct messages (DMs).
What parents should know: Instagram has been under attack for allegedly causing low self-esteem, especially in young girls. To combat this, parents should have a serious conversation with their kids about how what they see on Instagram isn't actually "real life." Show them how filters can make people look different/better/thinner—and how everyone has flaws to hide (this enlightening short video from Ditch The Label explains the "Insta-Lie" perfectly). There is also a "disappearing message" feature that lets kids send timed photo or video messages that users can only view once before they disappear (though screenshots can still be taken), so many kids use this feature to hide things they may not want their parents (or others) to see.
How to safeguard kids: Common Sense Media rates Instagram as best for ages 15 and up because of its easy access to mature content, as well as access to strangers. When you do decide to let your kids use the site, make sure they add you as a friend (create your own Instagram account if you don't already have one) so you can see what they are posting. You can also make your child's account private, so only their friends can see their posts. To do this, go to Settings, then Privacy, and toggle on the Private mode (You can't lock this setting, so know that your kids can always change it back.).
What is it? The hottest social media site for teens and tweens, TikTok has racked up more than 3 billion downloads, with youngsters everywhere clamoring to show off their antics or watch short, punchy video clips. The app is supposed to be for kids 13 and up, but younger users can easily skirt this rule by lying about their birthdays when they sign up. Also: Like YouTube, kids don't need an account to view videos, but they do need one to post them.
What do kids do on TikTok? Watch endless video loops of dance routines, makeup tutorials, homemade music videos, cooking demos, physical stunts, and more. Videos can be up to 10 minutes long, though most are only a few seconds. Creative or enterprising kids can make their TikTok videos by uploading videos from their devices or by recording, editing, and adding effects (as well as music and filters) directly in the app—making it a great place for self-expression.
What parents should know: Profanity and sexually suggestive content are commonplace, even with parental controls enabled, according to ProtectYoungEyes.com. The app also has direct messaging features, meaning that kids can easily contact and be contacted by strangers. That said, users ages 13-15 automatically have the following features set: -No direct messages -Automatic private accounts -Comments can be made from only “Friends” or “No One.” -No videos can be remixed or downloaded.
How to safeguard your kids: TikTok has parental control settings, as well as “Digital Wellbeing."Go to the settings tab in the app on your child’s device and click on “Family Pairing” to set restrictions and screen time allowances. If you are giving your child your phone to use, go to the app, click settings, click on “Digital Wellbeing” to set time limits, and set to “Restricted” mode.
What is it? A camera tool and social messaging app that lets users send "snaps" (messages) to each other, mainly in the form of pictures. Pictures and messages are (supposedly) automatically deleted after they are viewed—but this doesn't stop the receiver from taking a screenshot, so kids should know it's still possible their messages will be shared or reposted.
What do kids do on Snapchat? Younger kids will be all about the camera filters and augmented reality elements that allow them to take fun pics of themselves with glamorous makeup, bunny ears, or a big cat sprawled on top of their heads. Older kids will likely use Snapchat as a messaging tool—sending Snaps to friends and posting photos to their “story," which disappears after 24 hours.
What parents should know: Kids may be exposed to inappropriate content on the Story feed, where they swipe through everything from up-close pimple popping videos to dance tutorials. Also, it may be hard to lull kids away from the app since users are rewarded for "Snapstreaks"—when two users send Snaps to each other at least once within 24 hours for more than three consecutive days. These reward badges are removed when the streak misses a day, so kids are incentivized to keep the conversation going.
How to safeguard kids: Parents can go into the app to prohibit location sharing (go into settings, go to “See My Location,” and set it to “Ghost Mode.”). Parents can also specify who can view or contact their kids. Parents should explain to kids never to send pictures they wouldn’t want their whole school to see (because it doesn't really "disappear"). Also, parents need to explain that kids should never post pictures of friends without similar consent.
What is it? An online discussion/chat forum, originally designed as a way for gamers to chat while playing a video game. While the site is still mostly geared toward gaming, it has evolved into a forum to explore any subject-specific interests and group audio chats with friends.
What do kids do on Discord? Talk to other users about topics of interest (mainly gaming, anime, or music). Discord offers voice chatting, video chatting, and text messaging (it's Skype mixed with Reddit), and users can either join or create public or private groups (called “servers“) about whatever specific topic they want to talk about.
What parents should know: Being a user-generated site, kids may be exposed to inappropriate content including swearing and graphic language and images (though there are groups with rules against these things).
How to safeguard kids: While there are no parental controls, Discord does have some safety/privacy settings to control who can direct message or add your kids as friends. Its "Safe Direct Messaging" feature is supposed to delete any direct messages with explicit content (although, according to Common Sense Media, this isn't foolproof). To be safe, instruct kids to only accept invitations from and participate in private servers with people they already know.
What is it? An online discussion board where users can post questions, start conversations, and share pictures and videos of things that interest them (its slogan is "Dive into anything"). While the site is designed for adults, it's easy for kids to explore, even without signing up (though they need to be signed up to post questions).
What do kids do on Reddit? Share stories with others who have similar interests or questions, ranging from talks about their favorite video games and TV shows to personal questions about sexuality, friendships, and physical health. Once they register, users can vote, post, or subscribe to “subreddits” that focus on specific topics.
What parents should know: There are no parental controls on Reddit, so kids asking particularly iffy questions may see or be exposed to inappropriate content. Also, given the nature of Reddit as an open discussion forum, kids may go down a rabbit hole of extreme opinions that may reflect racist, sexist, hate-filled, or ignorant points of view on a variety of heated topics. Parents should talk with kids about how to spot misinformation and extremism as well as how to differentiate between fact and hearsay. That said, if kids are looking for a community of people who understand particular issues, Reddit can help kids feel a little less alone in their plight.
How to safeguard kids: Reddit is meant for adults, so it's recommended to use filters to block the app until your child is at least 13 (given the adult nature of some posts). If you'd like to let your kids explore the site, parental control apps such as Bark can send you alerts if your child is exposed to or posting anything concerning (including drugs, sex, violent or suicidal ideation).
What is it? With 2.74 billion users (and counting), Facebook—now part of Meta—is the most popular social media site out there, offering an easy way to share and view photos, videos, opinions, and thoughts. While the app is meant for users 13 and up, according to the BBC, it's estimated that more than 20 million of its users are younger than this. Also, even if they don't have an account of their own, anyone can view posts on Facebook (you only need an account to post or contact other users).
Note: Facebook is so adamant about its 13+ age limit that there is a page on its site devoted to reporting and deleting accounts believed to be for children (useful if you've banned the app from your house and find that your child set up an account anyway).
What do kids do on Facebook? Share and view photos and videos of themselves and others, keep up with their favorite celebrities, watch videos of interest, and message each other.
What parents should know: Kids can easily be exposed to inappropriate content—as well as be contacted by strangers. Also, like Instagram, users can easily become obsessed with "keeping up" their image and trying to maintain the illusion of a "perfect life." Parents should keep in mind that if their kids are on Facebook, they can easily see all the things you've ever posted (something to think about if you've ever posted exasperated posts about your parenting journey or baby pics that would mortify your kids today).
How to safeguard kids: If you allow your child to have a Facebook account (preferably at 13), make sure it's set up as a private account to limit who can see their posts, photos and profile. To do this, go to the Privacy section of the Settings menu and pull the drop-down options to "Friends," "Only me," or "Close friends" (which requires you to enter specific names).
What is it? An app for kids that lets users talk via text and video chat. While Facebook itself maintains the 13 and up standard, Messenger Kids skirts this rule because parents set up and manage the account on behalf of their children. Bark calls this setup—where kids use the app, but parents manage every aspect of it — "like training wheels for a child’s first social media experience." This lets parents see who their child chats with, how much time they're spending on the app, and every image they send/receive. Note: This is the only app on the list that was designed for kids under 13.
What do kids do on Facebook Messenger Kids? Talk and video chat with friends.
What parents should know: Parents must have a Facebook account to set up Messenger for their children. And while kids won’t have a public profile, parents can allow their name and profile photo to be visible to others (or not). Another important thing to note is that kids can't send links or YouTube videos through the app, which keeps them safe from iffy content.
How to safeguard kids: If you're worried about excessive use or unwanted friends, you set in-app time limits, approve or deny new friend requests, and remotely log your child out.
What is it? A live-streaming site, primarily for gamers. Any kid who's obsessed with video games will likely be obsessed with watching other kids play video games—which is exactly what they do on Twitch.
What do kids do on Twitch? Watch live streams, most of which are devoted to gaming. If they're logged in, they can talk directly to the streamer and ask questions about the game (which may or not be answered, depending on how many people are watching the stream). For a fee, kids can also broadcast themselves playing.
What parents should know: While the app doesn't technically allow threatening language or sexually explicit content, kids will still likely be exposed to plenty of profanity in the chats, which stream live beside the video. Kids don't have to sign up to watch live streams, but they do to chat. Users can also send "Whispers" (direct messages) to other registered users, though this can be restricted in the app's settings.
How to safeguard kids: Twitch doesn't offer parental controls, but logged-in users can set chat filters to limit discrimination, sexually explicit language, and profanity (though, according to Common Sense Media, these filters aren't foolproof.).
