Having five 5-year-olds requires a little ingenuity
Kentucky dad-of-five Jordan Driskell is catching heat from the online keyboard warriors after posting a video of himself and his kids in public. The reason? Driskell uses a leash with his five-year-old quintuplets when they’re out and about.
“Come walk a mile in my shoes,” he captioned a recent video, hilariously putting Doja Cat singing in the background, “You ain’t nothing but a dog, playa.” Driskell, who shares Zoey, Dakota, Hollyn, Asher, and Gavin with his wife, Briana, welcomed their kids in 2017 after a two-year infertility struggle, which ended with five new bundles of joy.
“Kids are so curious—they want to run off and explore,” Driskell told TODAY Parents of his decision to use a leash to keep his kids safe. “For our own peace of mind and sanity, we use a leash. It also allows us to leave the house and do fun stuff as a family without being stressed.”
He also said they used to use a six-person stroller, but it wasn’t feasible for them or the kids. “It was just too bulky and ridiculous to take anywhere,” he explained. “The other thing is, they want to walk when we go somewhere crowded. A leash gives them the opportunity to do that—but we’re still in control. They love it.”
Unfortunately, the unsolicited parenting advice came rolling in:
“They are humans not dogs,” one person wrote.
“Can’t you just train your children well? Explain to them why it’s dangerous to run away?” and “Don’t have that many kids if you can’t handle the pressure,” others said.
“That’s messed up. If you can’t handle that many children don’t get them in the first place,” another added.
“Are they rescues?” another asked.
Listen, until you have five kids you’re trying to wrangle, keep safe, and take out together at the same time in public, it’s not on you to judge. Even if you do have five five-year-olds, these aren’t them, and parenting kids requires knowing them, their specific needs, and what works for your individual family. It’s not anyone’s business to decide what works for another family. This man is out with five kids. FIVE. All he needs is a little applause as he walks by—that’s it.
Driskell hilariously posted another video with the caption: “Just a dad taking his pet sperm for a walk. Mind ya business ppls.”
Kate Hudson recently shared an adorable pic of her and daughter, Rani Rose, out and about in New York on a gorgeous sunny day. While some took the picture for what it was—a sweet mom/daughter photo—others just had to chime in with unsolicited parenting advice about the fact that Rani seemed “too big” to be in a stroller.
Rani Rose, three, is seen in the picture smiling away in an adorable outfit while sitting in the stroller. Hudson was pushing her, looking stunning as always. While many had nice things to say about the moment, others couldn’t contain themselves, chiming in about the age at which a child becomes “too old” to be pushed in one.
“Someone’s becoming a little city gal,” she captioned the shot in New York with a Statue of Liberty emoji. Hudson shares Rani with fiancé Danny Fujikawa. She’s also mom to Ryder Robinson, 18, and Bingham Hawn Bellamy, 10.
People couldn’t wait to jump into the debate, adding comments like: “Also becoming a little big for a stroller,” “Her legs [aren’t] broken. Walk lil girl,” and “Your gonna need a Bigger stroller.”
Another added: “Do kids this size really ride in strollers still? .. Not a mother here,” to which the answer is a swift “none of your business, stay your lane, please and thank you.”
Of course, one lovely human came to Hudson’s defense with a just-snarky-enough comment, saying, “Hey stroller / pushchair police. Not your kid, not your day out, not any of your business. Jog on.” Bless.
Much like breastfeeding vs. bottle-feeding and almost every other parenting decision we make, what you choose to do with your kids, including pushing them in a stroller, is your choice. She’s walking around a busy city with her child. One, who like any child, will eventually be too tired/cranky/hungry/bored to walk anymore. Why not push her around (and have a place to store all your stuff) and enjoy the day instead? No one needs the judgment.
Several years ago, I broke down crying in Walgreens while buying diapers. I wanted a second baby more than anything, but I couldn’t get pregnant. I was there to buy adult diapers for my father-in-law, Frank, who has Parkinson’s and dementia and had just moved down the block from us.
After living their entire lives in San Diego, CA, my in-laws (unbelievably) relocated to Queens, New York. I couldn’t imagine how they made the leap to cold weather and an NYC-sized apartment—but they did it for their five-year-old granddaughter, Stella. My mother-in-law, Genevieve, has more energy than anyone I know and was eager to play spy games, bake and do arts and crafts. “I’ll babysit as much as you need,” she said. “And if you have a second one, I’ll watch him every day so you won’t need daycare.”
It sounded dreamy but improbable. How would my mother-in-law manage to watch an infant while her husband’s Parkinson’s progressed? My in-laws flew across the country and moved into their new home less than a month before Frank lost full use of his legs and became bedridden. I knew he would need more and more care, and eventually, Genevieve would, too. My brother-in-law also lived in New York and was on board to help. There was no question that it was time for my family to pull together.
I loved the idea of being a true intergenerational family. But I was afraid that my partner and I wouldn’t be able to help much with caregiving as full-time working parents. Still, we learned to weave the grandparent generation into our weekend and evening routines, swinging by to drop off groceries, install lightbulbs, help out with a sponge bath.
There were nightmarish times: ER trips at 3 a.m. after my father-in-law fell out of bed. I spent many lunch breaks at work calling the Veteran’s Association, begging for a hospital bed to be delivered and for home health aide services. My stress level was so high that I feared I was hurting my chances to have a second baby at 38. I didn’t let that stop me.
“I’ll babysit for the second one—don’t you worry.” Genevieve never stopped believing.
Despite the uncertainty of Frank’s health, I felt a deep sense of calm every time I stepped into my in-laws’ building. Their apartment was right above a pizzeria, so we inhaled the warm, cheesy smell during the elevator ride. When we opened the door to the apartment, Genevieve’s golden doodle, Tilly, pounced and slathered us with kisses. Stella helped herself to Oreos from the pantry, knowing she never needed to ask permission. Then she headed into the playroom—where four dollhouses awaited.
During the first year, my partner and her brother traded off with their dad’s care, and I shouldered more of the parenting at home. Some nights my partner stayed over with her dad to care for him. Genevieve wasn’t able to babysit much, but she was still an invaluable addition to our lives as parents. I turned to her for parenting advice many times, knowing that she would never give advice unless asked and was never judgmental.
I signed up my kindergartener, Stella, for an after-school program, but Genevieve jumped in to do early pickups. Whenever Frank was having a good day, Genevieve swung by the school at 2 p.m. Together they ran around the house with walkie-talkies and spy costumes, and designed clothing using the full-sized mannequin Genevieve bought. Frank often seemed cheered up having a kid around. When Stella was nervous in the presence of someone so sick and in a hospital bed, I told her to high-five grandpa. Now they always high-five. No words need to be spoken when there is so much love.
That night when I wept in the Walgreens adult diaper aisle, I couldn’t imagine the life I’m living now. Frank has been stable enough to “graduate” from hospice services. The unstoppable Genevieve has babysat 30 hours a week for two years. She watches our long-awaited second baby, named Fiona Genevieve after her grandma. The baby happened because of modern medicine, but also all the extra support and love.
When my in-laws moved down the block, our family became stronger, more loving and complete. Baby Fiona, born on Cinco de Mayo, was the perfect latecomer to the party. And we have much to celebrate.
Members of the royal family attended one of the last publicly held events for the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee, the Pageant in London on Sunday. While they all looked in good form after the exhausting week, William and Kate’s youngest, Louis, had officially had it.
It’s been a fun-filled week celebrating the Platinum Jubilee of Elizabeth II in the Commonwealth of Nations to mark the 70th anniversary of her accession. As part of the celebrations, the Duchess of Cambridge, along with husband, Prince William and kids, joined others in the family for the Platinum Jubilee Pageant. Louis stole the show again after he was filmed having a “moment” with his mom. Unfortunately, Louis acting like a tired four-year-old had people questioning her ability to parent.
Unsolicited parenting advice began flying across social media after watching Louis act, well, his age:
This isn't a "He's 4" situation. Plenty of 4 year olds don't shush their parents mouth like that if they know how their parents will react. A tantrum is one thing, blatant disrespect to a parent is another. It's not Louis' fault tho
He put his hands on his mother’s mouth as in STFU & pulled his cousins hair?! Yeah Kate is definitely relying on the nanny too much. https://t.co/ViAr6aBNfE
The future king of England needs some serious time out. Come on, Kate, teach the kid some manners. https://t.co/DX64C7joT0
— Marla NeverTrump AlwaysConservative Hughes (@MarlaMHughes) June 6, 2022
Kate tried several times to calm him down but, as anyone with young kids knows, sometimes your best intentions just make it worse. She finally resigned with a universal “over it” sign, the hair flip, and Louis eventually calms down. At least one person on Twitter got it.
I have a toddler. He does this too. Prince Louis is being a normal, regular 4 year old. They’re testing their boundaries, and a tantrum is their way of expressing emotion because they don’t yet know how to do so any other way.
Prince George, eight, and Princess Charlotte, seven, were also in attendance, as was Louis’ father, Prince William, who know one seemed to question. He did try to step in and help at one point but was met with similar crossed arms from his son.
It’s hard enough for parents to calm a child in public when you know people are watching, but knowing you have the entire world’s eyes on you at a very public, televised event is a type of pressure few can understand. This was a classic, “just wait until we get home” situation whispered in his ear which any parent can relate to. Louis is four and likely exhausted from a week of events where he’s meant to be on his best behavior. It would be hard enough as an adult, let’s give him (and his mom) a break.
Small break in regular play to pay tribute to my new favourite kid. Prince Louis is a real mood and I’m here for it. pic.twitter.com/nXBPGJ1evl
In addition to navigating the unavoidable sleep deprivation and all-around adjustment to taking care of a tiny human, Jonas is also experiencing his first round of unsolicited parenting advice. And Mr. Jonas—we’ve all been there.
Sitting down for the interview, Jimmy Fallon asks straight up, “Is everyone giving you advice, giving you books?” A dad himself, Fallon knows just what happens when you become a parent—you instantly become a parenting expert and thus, must bestow your worldly wisdom upon new parents (insert sarcasm).
But Jonas takes it in stride, commenting, “Turns out everybody I know is a newborn care specialist. All these PhDs I didn’t know they had.” We all know dishing out parenting advice usually comes with the best of intentions, but it doesn’t mean it’s not obnoxious, even to celebs.
In the meantime, Jonas looks like he’s settling into his role as dad quite well (we don’t even see bags under his eyes!). He and Chopra brought home Malti Marie around Mother’s Day after she was welcomed via surrogate and spent over three months in the NICU.
We haven’t seen much of the sweet baby girl as the family of three settles into a routine, but after so much time in the NICU, we don’t blame them one bit. After such an intense experience, we bet Nick will be sharing his own parenting advice in the near future. Hey, it’s a rite of passage!
Parenting secret: One of the best resources for parenting advice is other parents. Whether you’re a first-time parent, a mom of twins, a father looking to connect with other dads or in search of some neighborhood families to share info with, there’s an NYC parenting group for you. Read on to find your fit. For more ways to connect try these NYC Parenting Facebook groups. For ideas on what to do with your new addition, check out things to do before your baby turns one, and what all new NYC parents need to know.
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A Mother is Born Sometimes the best resource for Parenting 101 can be found by turning to another mother with some serious child-rearing knowledge. A Mother is Born is a business owned by a mother, Meredith Fein Lichtenberg, who also happens to be a registered international board-certified lactation consultant, certified childbirth educator, non-fiction writer, among other talents. The business offers pregnancy and parenting services for New York City moms. The website provides insights, tips, events, and information on classes and groups for pregnant couples, new moms, working moms, and moms seeking lactation advice. Meredith Fein Lichtenberg teaches group and private childbirth classes, prenatal workshops, new mom classes, and offers private consults to smooth the transition for moms going back to work.
Bad Moms of Long Island One of the newer entries to our list, the Bad Moms of Long Island Facebook group was started by LI mom Jesse Curatolo back in September of 2018. It's a strictly no-judgement zone, and venting is encouraged! (If you get on a high horse, you'll be asked to leave.) Sorry dads—this one is just for moms. Talks of in-person meetups for the group are in the works for 2019.
Big City Moms Big City Moms was founded by city moms for city moms, and its biggest event is one no expectant mother or growing family should miss. Biggest Baby Shower Ever, held in NYC (and many other cities, including Atlanta, Chicago, Los Angeles, Miami, and San Francisco) is a jam-packed event that promises and delivers and event filled with gear, info, demonstrations, and more. (Mocktails for all!) Expect to be pampered, receive goodies galore and gain some helpful information about the whole having-and-raising-a-baby thing. Plus, over 100 vendors attend hoping to seduce expecting parents with some of the newest and best baby and parenting products on the market.
Beyond this epic event, other Big City Moms upcoming events include UES New Moms Support Group weekly get together, Infant and Toddler Safety and CPR Class, Nanny Safety Class, and an Expectant Moms Dinner. The website includes a blog that offers tips for parents and those expecting, the hottest trends in the industry, as well as chances to win amazing baby products and more. The company was formed over 12 years ago and while they have accrued over 300,000 members throughout the years, they also acquired some hefty celebrity fans such as Jessica Alba, Christopher Gavigan, Susan Lucci and Kimberly and James Van Der Beek, to name a few.
BoCoCa Parents “BoCoCa” is not a widely used term but it means something for those families immediately south of Downtown Brooklyn. (It’s a blended word combining the names of three adjacent Brooklyn neighborhoods: Boerum Hill, Cobble Hill, and Carroll Gardens. BoCoCa Parents is a restricted Yahoo Group that is a free network for local parents residing in one of these three neighborhoods and boasts almost 11,000 members. The mission of the group is “to establish community and communication amongst Bococa's families and to provide our children with opportunities in which to play, cultivate friendships and establish their roots”. This group is an active and evolving forum for sharing information and advice, making connections, finding and selling items, arranging playdates, and much more.
Bowery Babes Once upon a time, in 2005, a group of women took a prenatal yoga class on Bowery Street, and they just couldn’t quite get enough of each other so they formed a group. Bowery Babes has evolved ever since and has become a large collection of local moms in Lower Manhattan. The group is a NY non-profit that supports women from the time they are expecting through motherhood, and offers endless amounts of opportunities to thrive in a lively and loving community. From playgroups to classes, organized events and book clubs to night outs and daddy brunches, holiday parties and FREE beauty mornings, you can plug right into this group's energy and keep on ticking. If that hasn’t sold you, they also offer discounts and educational lectures on parenting.
The Bronx New Mommies Group Inc. This mommy group was formed by necessity in 2002 when a new mommy by the name of Roxanne Taylor felt a strong need to bond with other moms that shared similar interests and yet she didn’t know how to make such connections happen. Enter, The Bronx New Mommies Group, which grew from a group into a non-profit organization and then a registered charity. This social support group offers a range of support group meetings, activities and special events geared toward fostering a positive and nurturing community for parents and their families. Its website includes a resource directory that lists some key resources such as Walk Safer NYC, Parent Pledge Project, and more. But it doesn’t stop there. Their Sister Group, Dynamic Metro Moms, is geared towards moms with older children from 11 to 13 years old.
Dynamic Metro Moms Sister Group to The Bronx New Mommies Group, this Bronx-based mommy group offers an abundance of weekly social activities, classes and events for moms and their kids throughout the year, as well as special interest clubs including fitness bootcamp, yoga club and more. Upcoming events include an Annual Summer Outing and Mini Spa Party.
Families First Brooklyn Founded by two therapists and parents themselves, Families First is a not-for-profit member based early childhood center located in Cobble Hill. The organization offers parents and caregivers a safe and nurturing place to bring their young children. Among many things, it holds a Moms’ Meet Up every Friday at 11:30 a.m., where you can meet with other moms to talk about a variety topics, express ideas, and share and gather advice in a supportive environment. This meet up does not require membership or a fee to participate.
First Time Upper West Side Moms For just 10 dollars a year, this group will give you a huge Upper West Side slice out of the Big Apple, from midtown to Harlem. First Time Upper West Side Moms can be found on Meetup.com and offers moms and dads literally hundreds of free and/or heavily-discounted events each year. Parents can get discounts on a variety of classes such as music, baby sign, soccer, pilates and yoga, as well as trips to museums and zoos, diverse special events, and an assortment of get togethers at local libraries, Whole Foods, and local cafes and restaurants. Plus: stroller walks for those who want to burn off some extra calories.
HRP Mamas With over 2,000 members, the Hudson River Park Mothers Group serves as a vital and active community for mothers and expectant moms that reside in Lower Manhattan. There are many benefits to this group such as their online social network of verified Lower Manhattan neighborhood moms, weekly playgroups that meet in a comfortable and welcoming place and are facilitated by membership coordinators, educational events arranged through the group, and discounts at local retail stores. But what really stands out as a must for Lower Manhattan moms is this group's New Moms Group Series. Guided by childhood development educators, this weekly get-together for moms and their newborns or infants provides a child-friendly place to share experiences and get support on challenging topics ranging from sleep, development, and establishing routines to issues finding childcare.
Hoboken Family Alliance While there are many niche parent groups in Hoboken, one of the biggest and most active is the Hoboken Family Alliance. The HFA produces several big events throughout the year, including an all-schools open house and "Cabin Fever," a big summer camp open house event. It also sponsors several philanthropic initiatives, such as a school supply drive in the fall and holiday toy drive in December. Events include holiday party in December and a "spring fling" event that includes Hoboken's biggest egg hunt.
API Rainbow Parents API Rainbow Parents provides information and support to Asian-Pacific Islander (API) families with a family member who is lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT). The group is open to parents, other relatives and family members, and friends, as well as to LGBT people themselves. API Rainbow Parents helps families in the same way as PFLAG NYC’s other regular support groups, but has a special focus on meeting the cultural and language needs of API families. Find them on Facebook here.
Black Family Circle This is a free online meeting that provides a safe space for individuals who identify as Black and who have lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ+) loved ones. The group provides family-to-family support with a focus on the intersection of acceptance and one’s experience as a member of the Black diaspora. The group meets online on the fourth Sunday of every month from 3:00 to 4:30 p.m. starting Sunday, July 26. Register in advance to receive a link to the Zoom meeting; the link is not posted publicly, so you must register to attend each meeting. To register and to receive more information, click here.
Love Makes a Family PFLAG NYC has now launched a support group for Latino families in collaboration with Oasis Latino LGBTS Wellness Center. “El Amor Hace la Familia - Love Makes a Family” is a group of parents and LGBTQ people that has come together for mutual support. The group meets every second Saturday of the month at 10 a.m. at Oasis Wellness Center. The group uses primarily Spanish, but flexibly uses English and Spanglish too.
The TransFamilies Project (TFP) The TransFamilies Project (TFP) is a support group for parents, relatives and friends of transgender children. No matter when a child disclosed his/her gender identity issues, or what stage of transition he/she is in, the TransFamilies Project is a place to meet understanding friends, share important information, and get (and provide) support. Meetings are currently twice a month online, and will take place in Greenwich Village when in-person meetings resume. For questions about the group, please contact group leader Judy Sennesh through PFLAG NYC at transgender@pflagnyc.org. Please note: If you are going to bring someone with you to a TFP meeting who is younger than high-school age, notify Sennesh prior to the meeting.
Marlene Meyerson JCC Manhattan Located on the Upper West Side, Marlene Meyerson JCC Manhattan's mission is to create “opportunities for people to connect, grow, and learn within an ever-changing Jewish landscape." Among the many types of programs and classes offered by the JCC are those geared to family life including breastfeeding and tummy time for new parents, parenting resources that offer infant CPR classes, a dad's meetup brunch and a bump bash complete with mock-tails for expectant parents. You'll also find prenatal and postnatal fitness classes here, such as innovative and safe yoga and water classes, as well as caregiver programs.
JC Families A great resource for all things parenting in Jersey City, JC Families is a go-to for info on local events, family-friendly businesses and school options for all ages. You'll also find listings for childcare, kids' stuff for sale, and more.
Long Island City Parents Meetup Group Established in 2007, this active Meetup group is more than 1000 parents strong. Members use it to coordinate playdates, parties, readings, workshops, and events, as well as advocate for improved playgrounds, schools, and housing. To join, you must live in the 11101 or 11109 zip codes or neighboring areas of Astoria, Greenpoint, or Sunnyside.
Lower East Side / East Village Parents Lower East Side and East Village parents and parents-to-be are invited to register and visit this online forum that connects local parents and covers a broad range of topics such as sleep, feeding, pediatricians, caregivers and challenges in parenthood. Online: lesparents.com
Katherine Lieber
Manhattan Twins Club As one of the largest multiples communities in the United States, this 25-year-old nonprofit club was founded with the mission to provide support for parents of twins and those expecting multiples. The club offers events throughout the year (many of them free) which address perennial parenting topics, hosts friendly get-togethers such as family picnics and parent socials. A sampling of this years’ past events includes Twiniversity 101 to help parents.
MOMally Astoria Founded by lactation consultant, parent coach, and sleep consultant Andrea Scannell, MOMally Astoria has both an active Facebook group and Meetup calendar. (There's also a general parenting FB group.) Members can request access so they can plan meetups, playdates, etc., and Scannell aims to have mom-hosted, free area events posted daily. She's also hosted experts on New York State family leave policy and District 30 schools. Past events with local parents include holiday parties, crafting events and singalongs.
The Moms Groups Founded by parent and lifestyle coach Renee Sullivan in 2008, this NYC mommy group is one of the most expansive, hosting groups in the Upper East Side, Upper West Side, Union Square, Chelsea, Flatiron, and Midtown in Manhattan, and Carroll Gardens, Cobble Hill, Brooklyn Heights, Williamsburg and Park Slope in Brooklyn. The Moms Groups hold weekly sessions mostly led by either Renee Sullivan or therapists on her team and caters to Expectant Moms, New Moms, Moms of Older Babies, and Second Time Moms.
Motherhood Later than Sooner If you’re 35 or older and you’re a mommy, then you may want to join this group. Motherhood Later than Sooner is a group formed by Robin Gorman Newman, who at the age of 42 became a mom and found it hard to connect to the younger moms. This midlife moms group offers online and face-to-face support for mothers who are 35+ and want to be a part of a community of moms that are raising kids later in life. Benefits of this group include mom group meetings, moms night out dinners, family events, as well as discounts on products and services.
The New Mom Support Group This community-funded group found on Meetup.com offers Queens Moms (and Dads!) with kids 0-3 years of age a place to vent about parenthood safely and without judgement. For nine dollars a month, members can participate in Meetup activities such as play dates, stroller walks, Mommy and me classes and activities for dads. While the title of the group sounds exclusive, stay at home dads, expectant moms, second time moms, and moms with older children are also welcome.
Newport Mommy Another Jersey City group, Newport Mommy is more than 4,300 families strong. Head here for nanny leads and info, local news and events, classifieds, parenting resources, birthday party ideas and more!
NYC Dads Group Finally, a parent group that is just for Dads! There are so many mommy groups that may mention the word “dad” but don’t cater to them. NYC Dads Group is a community started by dads with the simple desire to share similar benefits of being part of a parenthood community as those found in staple mommy groups. The mission of this group has expanded beyond NYC and across the nation, and has become City Dads Group. Meetups include outings, Dads’ Night Out, workshops and special events. Partnering with Boot Camp for New Dads, a nationally-acclaimed 20 year old program for training dads-to-be, this group offers a Boot Camp facilitated by a nationally-certified trainer for expectant fathers and new dads that want to learn baby-raising basics.
New York Single Parents Meetup Group Founded in 2006, this Meetup.com group offers single parents a community to connect with other single parents. With over 2,500 members, this group not only hosts activities for single parents and their kids to meet and make new friends, but also serves as a springboard for special events happening in the city geared toward single parent families. A recent meetup like this was the Microsoft Youthspark Free Weekend Summer Camp for Kids, which offered single parents a free, in-store summer camp for their children.
Parents of NY Teens The Italian proverb “Little children, headache; big children, heartache” may resonate particularly with parents raising kids in the city that doesn’t sleep. But this Yahoo group makes it a heck of a lot easier by offering a place for parents of teens and young adults located in the five boroughs to unite and confront the challenges of raising city kids head on. They actively post on their Facebook page and their blog site to keep parents informed and plugged in.
Park Slope Parents This parenting group originally began in 2002 on Yahoo groups as a way for local parents to connect and exchange ideas on a number of parent-related topics. The membership base grew and grew, which led to the development of a PSP website. The website covers a lot of territory in content and offers expectant parents, new parents and working parents that live in Park Slope, Brooklyn, New York and the surrounding neighborhoods an extensive amount of local resources, parenting information, tips and advice, and organizes local family events throughout the year. The group is also host to a diverse range of subgroups for parents looking to connect with other members of similar professions, interests and life situations.
SoHo Parenting Located in its namesake neighborhood, SoHo Parenting is a center offering myriad services to new and expecting parents, as well as parents of older children. While many of its services, such as advice on sleep or developmental issues are fee-based, its popular ParenTalk blog offers help on a wide range of parenting topics.
Sunnyside Moms Queens moms in Sunnyside and nearby Woodside gather at this Facebook group and in real life to exchange info about all things parenting in their neck of the woods. It's more than 2,000 members strong, so that a lotta knowledge!
UES Mommas With nearly 28,000 members, this private Facebook group for moms on the Upper East Side is a go-to forum for advice on everything from breastfeeding, local resources and shops to sleep issues, childcare, and preschool. (You can also score second-hand gear like strollers, furniture and more.) Yes, you'll find strong opinions here, and the community is not without drama, but aren't diversity and people with a point of view why we all love NYC?
UES Mommas With nearly 28,000 members, this private Facebook group for moms on the Upper East Side is a go-to forum for advice on everything from breastfeeding, local resources and shops to sleep issues, childcare, and preschool. (You can also score second-hand gear like strollers, furniture and more.) Yes, you'll find strong opinions here, and the community is not without drama, but aren't diversity and people with a point of view why we all love NYC?
Dwyane Wade is used to getting asked on-the-spot interview questions with a microphone in his face, and this week at the Met Gala was no different. This time, however, he was asked about being a parent as opposed to his thoughts on basketball.
As he and wife Gabrielle Union-Wade walked the carpet towards the museum, a reporter asked the duo what kept them fighting for their daughter. Without hesitation, Wade replied “Just being a father, just seeing our child grow up every day and doing what you’re supposed to do as a parent is to make sure that you sit back and you see what it is in life that they want to do, and you try to go there with them and try to help mold them into what it is they want to be and who they want to be.”
Dwyane and Gabrielle share Kaavia James, 3 and are raising Zaya and Zaire from Wade’s previous marriage, his son Xavier and his nephew Dahveon. In 2020, Zaya, now 14, came out as transgender and the parents have been nothing but supportive and even becoming LGBTQ activists.
After his initial question, the reported then asked the dad what advice he would give to parents whose child just came out as trans. While Dwyane’s response to the reporter was likely coming from a place as a parent of a transgender child, his advice stems to parents of all children.
“I say the moment when you’re in the hospital and you grabbed your daughter, and you looked at your daughter and all the things that went through your mind, all the emotions that went through your mind and how much love filled your heart at that moment,” Wade says. “Don’t let that ever leave you, no matter what…Our kids are going to be who they are. It’s our job to help mold them and help try to push them in the right places that they want to go.”
Before Mrs. Bullard went viral for her “where do babies come from” video on TikTok, she spent her pregnancy navigating the whiles of being a science-lab teacher. The Huntingtowne Farms Elementary mom-to-be with a great sense of humor decided it would be fun to ask her students some parenting advice and they came through with a few gems!
As a prompt, she asked “If the baby is crying Mrs. Bullard should…” and well, you can see the hilarity that ensued in her video below.
From “make it a fruit salad” and “let it watch TV” to “give him cotton candy,” the list seems like a kindergarten or first grader’s dream come true––not necessarily a baby’s. It even appears some of the students are already prepared for their own parenting one day, embracing the cry it out method (“let it cry”).
Mrs. Bullard released a similar video before she went on maternity leave asking the same question and there were just as many nuggets of wisdom then as well. Some of our favorites include “run away,” “put on Cocomelon,” and “Just do your best and I just want to tell you’re not going to sleep.”
While the teacher releases some quirky videos on kids parenting advice, she is best known for her science videos on TikTok and Instagram. @Mrs.B.Tv has three million followers, all eagerly watching as the educator turns science into a tangible and exciting subject.
Started during the pandemic when all her students were remote learning, Mrs. Bullard wanted to create content that reached students from kindergarten through fifth grade. She’s done videos on everything from greenhouse gases and Boyle’s Law to working rainbows and elephant toothpaste.
She shares with Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools, “One of the most challenging things about being a teacher is staying relevant. Whether it is the latest dance trend or Fortnite, we have to find our kids on the platforms they’re comfortable with. A kindergarten student may not know how to log into Google Classroom or Canvas, but they can watch an Instagram video.”
Judging by her 43.2 million views, Mrs. B. is doing a great job at staying relevant.
“STOP JUMPING ON THE COUCH! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?!”
We set limits, and our children test them.
Conventional parenting advice says that it’s a children’s job to test our limits and that they’ll do this to find out how we’ll react. They want to find holes in our patience or our logic, and to check that we’re going to hold our limit. They are trying to establish a hierarchy of power in the relationship, and gain control of the situation.
And they are. If we view our relationship with our child as a zero-sum game, one person’s win has to be balanced by another person’s loss. And if we aren’t the winner, then the alternative—that our child might have the upper hand—is too difficult to even imagine.
And if our goal is to make sure your children don’t get the upper hand, then we’ll always be in this struggle to make sure we’re on top.
We Feel Like We Need Control
At the root of these struggles is what feels like a need for control. And I say “feels like,” because any illusion that we have control over anything in our lives is exactly that: an illusion.
We feel like we control our schedules, our children’s activities, our finances. But if we think about it, actually very little of those things are under our control. (Don’t think about it too long—it can be scary!)
Society tells us that it’s our job to be in control—we learned this from our parents (as well as school), and now we’re teaching it to our children by setting limits on their behavior.
But what if it didn’t have to be like this? What if we could not be in an antagonistic relationship with our children and also not have them constantly test us?
Most parents assume that the solution to children not listening (or deliberately ignoring) limits is, you guessed it, more limits. And stronger enforcement of limits. That when our children listen to us, we might be able to back off a little. Maybe.
The Solution Is Fewer Limits
Yes, I know it seems counterintuitive. If our children aren’t listening to us now, how could setting fewer limits possibly be the answer?
Because setting limits sets the tone of our relationship. And if our relationship is based on power, antagonism, and control, then our children will always try to get the upper hand. How could they not? They are learning from us that someone needs to have it, and the person who doesn’t have it gets walked all over, so they’d better at least give it a shot.
But if we set fewer limits, we set an entirely different tone.
A collaborative tone. A communicative tone. A tone that says: “Our relationship is the most important thing to me.”
So how do we set fewer limits without letting our kids walk all over us?
The key is to set limits that are grounded in your values. When you do this, your child hears in your voice that you’re serious. (You’ve noticed this before, right? When you say something that you believe in, and your child doesn’t protest?)
So you set limits on issues that are important to you—and the rest of them—you let go.
The strangest part about it all is that it doesn’t require us to get our children to do anything. We aren’t trying to change their behavior. We aren’t trying to control them, or win a battle over them. We’re finding a new way to be in a relationship with them that’s so much more peaceful and joyful and just plain fun!
And also, it’s easier than the other way. Because everyone could use some more easy in their life right now.
Jen Lumanlan fills the gaps in her parenting intuition through research, via a Master’s in Psychology (Child Development) and another in Education. Her podcast, Your Parenting Mojo, provides rigorous yet accessible information on parenting and child development to help parents tame the overwhelm and raise resilient, thriving children.
If you feel like you’re on a never-ending treadmill of diaper changes and naptime battles, getting out of the house and commiserating with fellow parents can be a sanity-saver. Now, more than ever, is the time to find your tribe, glean essential parenting tips, and bemoan about how our bundles of joy aren’t always so joyous (but how we love them anyway!). Read on for a rundown of our favorite parent groups in LA that you can join—you may even find a new best friend for yourself and your kid in the process.
Who They Are: A parenting "village" founded by state-recognized infant-family and early childhood mental health specialist Bryana Kappa. South Bay Mommy & Me has a variety of classes—both virtual and in-person—to help nurture mothers as they raise their babies and toddlers. There are groups for infants, toddlers and second-time moms, as well as twin groups, pregnancy and postpartum support.
What They Do: Mothers and babies meet weekly for 75 minutes, where they can ask questions and ruminate on the struggles and triumphs of baby and toddlerhood. Topics are timed according to the child’s developmental stage, with age-appropriate activities that allow tiny tots plenty of time for rolling, crawling, cruising, walking and more. Once moms "graduate" from the program, they get an invitation to join Kappa's Conscious Mommy Circle, which teaches mothers mindfulness techniques to enhance their awareness of parenting and motherhood.
Where They Meet: Redondo Beach & online via Zoom. What It Costs: $325 per 8-week session.
Who They Are: A Westside staple for new and expecting moms, this Santa Monica boutique offers a slew of classes and workshops to tackle all the stages of pregnancy and early childhood (plus a super-stocked store where you can buy all the things you never knew you needed for your baby). Moms can get all their questions answered about postpartum care, nursing, sleep, finger foods, milestones and more. There are also certified lactation consultants and doulas to help with various needs.
What They Do: In addition to Mommy & Me support groups that guide new mothers through all of the ups and downs of raising a baby or toddler, the Pump Station also offers a multitude of specialty classes, including Intro to Breastfeeding, Returning to Work and Coping with Preschool Panic. There's even an online class for new grandparents to keep them up to date with all of the latest trends in baby-raising.
Where They Meet: Virtual as well as in-person meet-ups at the Pump Station & Nurtury (2727 Main St. Suite F, 2nd Floor)—as well as at Early Childhood Development Associates (6411 Melrose Ave., in Los Angeles) and Healing Through Action Studio (1201 S. Victory Blvd., Suite 104, in Burbank). What It Costs: Mommy & Me groups (1st & 2nd/3rd time moms), $320 for a virtual 8-week session and $420 for an in-person 8-week session; Parents & Me (both parents) classes cost $380 for an 8-week virtual session and $480 for an 8-week in-person session; individual workshop prices vary.
Best LA Parent Group: MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers)
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Who They Are: Anyone who's ever had a "threenager" can tell you: New baby moms aren't the only ones in need of support. MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) is a Christian-based organization that offers support groups and meetups for moms of kids who are past the diapers and formula stage. With more than 100,000 members in 67 countries, there's likely a MOPS group near you, wherever you are.
What They Do: Weekly meetups to talk about child development, share stories and offer support to moms of young children. Whether you're fighting bedtime battles, epic tantrums or school anxiety, you are not alone. Note: While MOPS welcomes moms of all denominations, there is a strong Christian leaning to the group, with its mission statement being to help moms "realize their potential as mothers, women and leaders, in relationship with Jesus, and in partnership with the local church."
Where They Meet: Churches throughout Los Angeles (see the "Find a Group" section of the website) as well as virtually via Zoom. What it Costs: Membership fees start at $32 per year.
Who They Are: Mommy & Me and Mommy, Daddy & Me classes are led by a team of licensed psychotherapists, founded by parenting pro Julie Wright, MFT, co-author of The Happy Sleeper and Now Say This: The Right Words to Solve Every Parenting Dilemma. Classes for new parents start when your baby is one-three months and continue through the first year.
What They Do: Weekly 90 minute classes help you adjust to parenthood (it is an adjustment!) and learn what to expect during your baby’s first year. Find your tribe as you laugh, sing, have fun and ask questions. Topics follow the babies’ development and include guidance for improving sleep, introducing solid foods and many more.
Where They Meet: Santa Monica & Sherman Oaks. What It Costs: $340/session for one parent and $420/session for a couple (each session includes eight 90-minute classes).
Who they are: Formally known as Babytalk LA, Wevolve "provides a supportive and fun environment where parents explore current parenting approaches and also build life-long friendships with other parents who have children close to the same age." From expectant parent groups and sensory play groups to parent support groups for elementary school aged kids, Wevolve is a safe place for parents to share, learn and grow. There is also a group for parents who are going through separation or divorce.
What they do: Fans of the parent-and-me class compare it to group therapy in a good way. The environment is open, non-judgmental and supportive. In addition to giving parents the chance to connect, experts are also occasionally brought in to offer insight on topics including sleep, first foods, sign language and child safety. Of course, your little one will also have the opportunity to "mingle" (i.e. crawl, roll and wiggle around) as you sing songs, learn about baby massage, sensory play and other activities for you and child.
Where they meet: Outdoor spaces, parks and private residences in Beverly Hills & Westwood—as well as virtual via Zoom. What it costs: $495 for 10 week session.
Who They Are: The “Moms Offering Moms Support” acronym says it all. It's a place to meet other mothers and build support systems. Of course, the added bonus is your little one gets to have similarly aged kids to play with.
What They Do: Each chapter has their own meeting schedules and planned activities, including things like playgroups, moms night out, parenting speakers, craft and cooking activities, book clubs, and plenty of ways to help those in need with charitable activities and fundraising events. Visit the national MOMS Club website to find the nearest local chapter in your area. There are dozens and dozens in the LA area so you’re sure to find a great fit for both you and your brood.
Where They Meet: With chapters all across LA (including throughout the Westside, Valley and South Bay), you shouldn't have trouble finding a group close to you. What It Costs: An annual membership fee anywhere between $35-$45 depending on the chapter. Events and activities are generally free.
Who They Are: Using a carefully-curated curriculum developed over the past 25+ years, Sleepy Planet Parenting was founded by psychotherapists and sleep experts Jill Spivak and Jennifer Waldburger, authors of the bestselling book,” The Sleepeasy Solution: The Exhausted Parent’s Guide to Getting Your Child to Sleep from Birth to Age 5.” In addition to offering events, one-on-one consultations, and energy healings, they also offer parenting groups throughout LA.
What They Do: Groups are designed for first, second and third-time moms, and cover all the essential developmental issues including baby sleep, feeding and cognitive milestones—as well important parent-centric topics such as marriage, identity and self care. Each 90-minute group begins with general questions and answers, followed by a different educational topic. The session ends with singing and playtime for the children. Groups meet in person outdoors,
Where They Meet: Westwood & Pacific Palisades. What It Costs: $695 for 8 week session.
Best LA Parent Group: West LA Parents Of Multiples
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Who They Are: It should come as no surprise that moms (and dads) of multiples need all the extra help they can get. This group offers an extensive support system for LA parents (and even those expecting) of twins, triplets, quadruplets or more. With events and resources both on and offline, there are tons of ways to get involved, meet other parents of multiples and get much-needed encouragement both before birth and after.
What They Do: West LA Parents of Multiples offers seminars and informational meetings on parenting topics, playgroups with similar aged kids, an online forum, and even a collection of preemie clothes members can borrow. Support systems are also in place to provide meals for families with newborns and a helping hand to moms on bedrest or families in the NICU. As if all of this unconditional support wasn’t enough, WLAPOM taps into its philanthropic side by donating essential supplies and baby gear to needy parents of multiples through the Multiple Helpings program.
Where They meet: Across Los Angeles as well as via Zoom. What It Costs: Families are charged an annual membership fee of $55.
Who They Are: Dads need support squads too, and that’s exactly why the LA Dads Group was formed. Whether you're the lone dad at the playground, the only guy in your kid’s playgroup, or simply a father who wants to take an active role in your little one’s life while meeting other dads, this group is for you.
What They Do: The group hosts playdates, parenting workshops, social events like beach outings or movie screenings, and even dads-night-out. They also organize volunteer activities from time to time to do their part in paying it forward for those less fortunate.
What It Costs: The group is free to join. Where They Meet: Various locations.
Who They Are: Can’t go anywhere without your beloved baby carrier? Feel naked when you’re not strapped to your little nugget? Then this is the group for you. Whether you’re new to babywearing (or you’ve just mastered wearing two kids at once), you’ll find a whole lot of support here. A certified nonprofit organization, Babywearing LA believes that babies are designed to be carried and that doing so (with the right information and tools) can be mutually beneficial for both you and your little joey. In addition to monthly meetings, Babywearing LA also offers an online community via Facebook where you can ask questions and meet other moms.
What They Do: Monthly events all across the LA area include play dates and meetings with other babywearing parents, workouts while babywearing, and classes on the basics of babywearing. Meeting hosts will bring along a variety of different carriers for new parents to try out, and parents are welcome to bring their own carriers if they need help putting them on or a "fit check" to make sure they're wearing it right.
Where They Meets on the Westside and Eastside, alternating every month. Times and locations are listed on the website or on Babywearing LA's Instagram page. What It Costs: There is no fee to join the group and general meetings and playdates are free (and you don't need to RSVP—just show up!).
Who They Are: Breastfeeding (especially for the first time) can be enough to make any new parent think those all too familiar “what did I get myself into?” thoughts. Luckily you are not alone. A local chapter of La Leche League, a national organization dedicated to supporting women who are breastfeeding, is the perfect place to meet other nursing moms, ask questions and get help. There are several local chapters in the LA area, but the largest and most active is La Leche League Los Angeles Westside.
What They Do: Local groups meet monthly and any mom is welcome to join. Meetings are generally casual and offer a moms safe space to talk about issues, share solutions and support fellow moms and babies through the triumphs and trials of breastfeeding. The meetings are led by volunteer League Leaders, breastfeeding moms who have been trained and accredited by La Leche League. Leaders are also available to contact by phone for support outside of the meetings.
What It Costs: There's no fee to join. Where They Meet: Various locations plus virtual meetings. Check the website to find your nearest chapter.
Who They Are: Build your village while getting rid of some unwanted baby weight in the process? Yes please! This program offers a variety of kick-butt exercise classes, such as Stroller Strides and Stroller Barre programs, that will get you and your small fry out of the house and get your heart pumping at the same time (win/win!).
What They Do: Unlike some of the traditional support groups, Fit4Mom is a bit more of an expense offering many different types of fee-based exercise packages to choose from once you sign up to be a member. But they also offer playgroups, crafts, and mothers-nights-out for free to anyone who wants to attend, member or not!
Where They Meet: Fit4Mom Franchises are located all over LA County: Westside, South Bay LA, Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Torrance, San Fernando Valley, Palos Verdes, and San Pedro and Long Beach. What It Cost: Cost varies by plan but your first class is always free to try.
Sometimes getting out of the house just isn't an option. Thanks to the invention of the good old internet, you can still make friends, seek help and support or just share some much-needed memes in the middle of the night. Here are some of our favorites: Peachhead: Before Facebook groups were even a thing, the OG parenting forum in Los Angeles was Peachhead. Founded in 1997 by Venice mom Linda Perry, the group now has over 10,000 members and continues to be a go-to place to gab, swap baby gear, and ask every parenting question under the sun.
LA Mommies: With the long-reaching influence of social media, there are literally hundreds of Facebook groups dedicated to moms, parents, and parents to be. One of these biggest networks in our part of the planet is LA Mommies. It’s a private group (so no one outside of it will see you post about having a mommy meltdown at 2 a.m.) but with over 50,000 members, be prepared to have your posts read (and potentially commented on) by thousands of people. Posts are anything and everything mom-related from pregnancy and parenting advice to the best spots for birthday parties or date nights.
Southbay LA Mommies: If you're in the South Bay with kids, you'll want to sign onto this Facebook group to get all the deets about local goings-on, free stuff for pickup, nanny recommendations and more. Looking for a kid-friendly restaurant by the beach? Need a good playgroup in Torrance for your 1-year-old? With more than 12,000 members, you can ask a question and it will usually be answered within minutes.
Westside Moms: Another local Facebook group, this is a group "with high hopes for creating real friendships among moms and our kiddos." Must live in Brentwood, Santa Monica or Pacific Palisades to join.
Moms Helping Moms: Need a new nursing chair? Want to unload you baby clothes? This group is for strictly for moms to donate to other moms (not an online forum for advice).
Solo Parent Society: Parenting is hard; parenting without a partner can be even harder. The Solo Parent Society connects you with other single moms and dads to share advice and offer support. Each week will cover a topic in the "52 topics related to Solo Parent Life."
