Guess what? They can tell when your kid has had too much screen time

From excitement to anxiety to sighs of relief, going back to school this year looks a little different for everyone. But, according to a survey by Learning Resources, more than ever, one of the most important things is active parent involvement. In order to get an idea of what that really means, we talked to school teachers across the country (many of whom are parents themselves) and gathered up their best back-to-school tips for parents to succeed throughout the school year.  

Back-to-School Tips for Parents About Attitude

Almost every teacher we talked to said something along these lines:

“Your children take on your attitudes, BE POSITIVE!” —Michele Jenkins, Fernley Elementary School 1st-grade teacher, Nevada

“School is fun! Remind your kids to be creative and take risks.”—Anonymous 

“It’s okay to cry on that first day, it can be emotional for parents, but try and wait until your kiddo gets to the classroom before you burst into tears.”—Anonymous

Related: 16 Things Parents Don’t Need to Worry About (According to Teachers)

Back-to-School Tips on How to Dress for Success

A boy reaches for his properly labeled water bottle before he goes back to school
Name Bubbles

Consider these ideas when finishing up your back-to-school shopping.

Label everything!”—Anonymous kindergarten teacher

“Dress them for the weather because we're going OUTSIDE!”—Teacher Tom

“Be aware, those cute shoes they get WILL get dirty while doing PE. Don’t tell them they can’t run in shoes you buy them for school use. They will run at school. Don’t punish them for dirty shoes; shoes get dirty when worn properly. Also, close-toed, non-dress shoes (athletic shoes) have the best support, so please make sure they wear a pair any time they have a day that includes recess or PE.” —Anonymous PE teacher

“If they come in tie shoes, they should know how to tie them themselves, or else come in velcro.”—Erin S.

“If you live in a climate with cold winters, get your kids used to taking on and off snow clothes, boots, etc., so they have a routine for doing so before winter and the end of the day. Practice on the weekend as cooler weather arrives and make a game of it by timing each child to see who can get cold-proofed fastest.”—Anonymous

Tips for the Early Morning Routine

iStock

Not surprisingly, a lot of teachers spoke about the importance of eating a healthy breakfast, being on time for school, and getting a decent night’s sleep. Here are a few other helpful tips:

“Don’t delay drop off for little ones. Give a big hug and kiss and get out the door. Lingering only leads to upset kids.”—Early elementary teacher

“For an easier beginning to the year, start routines like going to bed and waking up on time before school starts again, not the day of.”—Jared H.

And Brad B agrees: “Get their bedtime routine back in order before school starts. Lack of sleep affects so many things beyond drowsiness or lack of attention. I personally think it undermines our confidence."

“Go to the bathroom at home before school!”—Anonymous

“Routine in the morning is important to start the day positively. Pick out clothes the night before (or even the whole week before and put in boxes for each day if you have a diva girl like mine!).”—Anonymous

Teacher Tips for School Supplies

a mom buying school supplies after getting back to school tips from a teacher
Shutterstock

School supplies don’t just mean what you need for your own child. Consider what a classroom needs and grab an extra item or two when you can afford it. Don’t forget tissue during the winter cold and flu season!

Small tokens of appreciation throughout the year are a real pick-me-up! A pad of post-it notes, sharpies….teachers are easy to please, and it’s nice to let them know you notice their hard work. Also, read the weekly newsletter...please!” —Early elementary teacher, TX

“If there are specific things on the supply list (like particular brands), I promise the teacher isn’t trying to be difficult. They’ve probably learned from experience that that particular type works the best or lasts the longest.” —Nicole D., middle school math

“As teachers, we spend a great deal of our own money on supplies to make our classrooms a more creative learning environment for your child. So please, believe me when I say that every little bit helps our classroom; an extra ream of paper, a container of disinfecting wipes, paper towels, etc. It means so much, and I promise they will be put to good use.”—Holly R., autism teacher

“Make it a habit of asking a teacher if they need anything for the classroom or upcoming projects or holidays. Most teachers will be happy to give you a few inexpensive items they need that you could pick up at the grocery store.”—Anonymous

 

Related: 15 Cool Backpacks for Kids to Help Organize Their School Gear

Back-to-School Tips About Communication

teacher talking with student
iStock

When it comes to communicating with your teacher, whether it’s messaging during the day or at parent-teacher conferences, or even a requested meeting, consider these factors from a teacher’s point of view. One overarching theme? Teachers know and love your children, too!

“Parents, teacher, and students are all on the same team–parents need to be open to communication and should be open with teachers about student needs.”—Tori R., teacher

“Remember that teachers see your children in a totally different environment with a totally different set of kids at a totally different time than you do on a normal basis. It should be expected that we see behaviors, attitudes, and reactions that are different than what we have come to know. Be open to learning about your child in a unique setting to understand them better.”—Anonymous

“Please be on time for meetings. Our time is very limited.” —Janel M., middle school teacher

“Please don’t expect an email response within the hour. We are teaching 90 percent of the day and often have meetings to attend during our conference period and/or after school.” —Kristi W., elementary teacher

“If there is a conflict at school, notify the teacher. Listen to what your child has to say and encourage him/her to tell an adult at school. Do not bash the other student in front of your child. So many times, this is just a misunderstanding that has been blown out of proportion. Little ones learn how to problem solve with their peers and hearing their parents becoming angry and calling names shows them that that is the right way, which we know it is not. Listen to the details and then call the teacher!” —Anonymous

“Meet the Teacher night (before school starts) is NOT the appropriate time to verbally tell the teacher your child’s specific needs. ... put it in writing (an email is great). So much is going on that the teacher may not remember what you told her or even who your child is yet. You might introduce yourself and let them know to look for an email from you.” —Kristi W., elementary teacher

“Teachers spend a LOT of time on communication mediums and may only have 30 minutes of prep time during the day…so read/reread ALL the emails, updates and directions before you email/call the teacher (resourcefulness and responsibility — this is what we’re trying to teach your kids, too.).” —Katie, teacher and mom

“We are here to help your child. We want the best for them just as you do. Please give us the benefit of the doubt and the respect we deserve. We are not out to get your child. We aren’t telling you things because we are mean. We are telling you the truth about your child in the classroom. And no, they may not act like that at home, but they may act differently in a classroom setting. Believe us. Help us.” —Anonymous PreK teacher

“Be sure to check in on your child’s well-being socially, emotionally, and academically and ask for help if needed!” —Tiffiny Peterson, American Heritage Charter School 2nd-grade teacher, Idaho

Related: 25 Easy First-Day-of-School Picture Ideas

Tips for Parents About Homework

A father helps his son with homework
iStock

Every parent wants their kids to do well in school, and pretty much every child will groan about homework at some point. Here are some ideas for helping kids stay on track and keep up the good work.

Set aside time daily during the first month of school to help your child unpack/pack their backpack, go over assignments, organize supplies and binders, and chat about school. This helps you both ease in and allows your student to share concerns with you organically and as they arise.” —Anonymous 7th & 8th-grade teacher

“Sleep. They are better students with a solid night of sleep as opposed to those who stayed up all night studying.” —Kathleen, teacher

“The grade is never as important as the effort behind it.”—Katy D., teacher, and mom

“Teach your students to advocate for themselves... to ask for help and to pursue it until they receive it and understand the concept with which they are struggling. A helicopter parent can never be as effective as a student who is determined to learn and knows how to make it happen, regardless of their level of intelligence.” —Jeremy H., veteran elementary and middle school teacher

“Read, read, read to your child! Be sure to talk about the book. Ask questions about the characters and the problems they face, your child’s favorite part, etc. If your child is bilingual or learning English, reading to your child in your native language will not interfere with learning English in school, but will actually help develop their background knowledge and vocabulary acquisition in both languages!” —Anonymous

“Please limit screen time and take your kids either outside to play or engage with them in a board game, puzzle, helping with homework, having them help with dinner/dishes/ANYTHING! So many young kids I teach are turning into little zombies because they come home from school and just sit in front of video games. And remember, your child is NEVER too old to be read aloud to.” —Anonymous

“Even if you don’t agree with the common core or the amount of homework, you want your child to respect his/her teachers and the expectations.” —Anonymous

Advice About Volunteering

iStock

You might not be able to make every function or volunteer a ton of classroom hours, but just being there for your kids makes a big difference. 

“For many working parents, daytime events at the school or volunteering isn’t always an option, we get that, but even just one event per school year makes a lasting memory and positive reinforcement for your child. We provide a calendar at the beginning of each school year so parents can plan ahead.” —Anonymous

“Read and play games with your kiddos! There is nothing a teacher can do that takes the place of family time!” —Tess Brist, Marion School 3rd-grade teacher, Montana

"You don’t have to be perfect. Just show up."—Anonymous

Gentle Reminders: Teachers Are Humans, Too

a teacher and students hugging, she's offering back to school tips
iStock

Don’t forget that teachers, while they are modern-day superheroes in many ways, are also human with families of their own!

“I spend seven hours teaching 125 students each day for 9 months, each year. Please don’t judge me if we meet at the grocery store and I totally space on your and your child’s names.”—Betty R., 7th-grade science teacher

“Remember that the teacher can have 30 other children—be patient and start a positive relationship from the start.”—Tori R.

“Many teachers are parents as well. Please don’t think I am ignoring your 6 p.m. email because I don’t respond within an hour. I am spending time with my own child.” —Anonymous

Related: 4 Things Teachers Don’t Want to Hear About Your Kid (& 3 They Do)

These back-to-school books are sure to soothe the new year nerves

Whether your kids are headed for the classroom for the first time or they’re heading to a brand-new school, stress levels can be high (for both parents and kiddos). We love the idea of incorporating these back-to-school books into the bedtime routine. They talk about what it’s like to be without mom and dad all day, validate anxious feelings, and show kids that they’re not alone. These back-to-school books also teach little ones ways to handle those jitters so they can feel ready for whatever adventures the school year brings.

From kindergarten help to handling food allergies, these books have everyone covered. We’ve made sure that there’s something for every kiddo. Get the family together and snag a few of these great reads to make sure everyone is feeling their best this year. Backpack, lunch box, and new back-to-school books. That’s a winning combination!


Nothing Stays the Same is a good back-to-school-book
Mighty + Bright

Nothing Stays the Same (but That's Okay): A Book to Read When Everything (or Anything) Changes

$13+ BUY NOW

Every kid will face change: whether it's a new house, family changes, or moving schools. Author and child behavior expert Sara Olsher reminds kids (and their grownups) that it's actually okay. Facing our fears and the unknown is scary, but Olsher aims to give kids knowledge—the best defense against anxiety and fear. Whether it's a big change or something small, this book will help normalize the inevitability of change, giving kids the confidence that they can handle it. Ages: 4-10


I Am Every Good Thing is a Back-to-School book
Nancy Paulsen Books

I Am Every Good Thing

$13+ BUY NOW

Author Derrick Barnes captures the young and confident Black narrator of this book perfectly, demonstrating the pure joy of childhood where each day brings challenges and adventures. The vivid and beautifully done illustrations by Gordon C. James make this book one that will inspire your kids to embrace their own beauty even if things aren't always perfect or they make mistakes. This one teaches them to stay true to their truth, even when they are misunderstood or called things they're not. Ages: 3-8


Misty the oven mitt is a back to school book
America's Test Kitchen

Mitsy the Oven Mitt Goes to School: A Story About Being Brave

$14+ BUY NOW

In this heartwarming and playful back-to-school book from America's Test Kitchen, we meet Mitsy, a young oven mitt who has spent her whole life in the mitten factory. When she's accepted to Miss Copperpot's Academy for Useful Utensils, she's definitely nervous. But her first days at school bring together a great cast of characters, inspiring kitchen facts, and a story to empower kids so that when they feel nervous like Misty, they remember that they can do anything. Ages: 4-8


Jessica Kingsley Publishers

The Nervous Knight: A Story about Overcoming Worries and Anxiety

$16 BUY NOW

'The Nervous Knight' by Lloyd Jones gets kids talking about what causes them to be anxious, thanks to a young knight-in-training who's never without his armour. When we get kids talking, we can normalize these feelings and help them problem solve ways to feel better. This one also includes a guide for parents to help keep the conversation flowing. Ages: 5-7


Viking Books for Young Readers

Not Yeti

$16 BUY NOW

Monsters are loud. And rude. They like to smash things and they always need to be right. But not Yeti. Yeti is different. He bakes banana bread and sings to whales and always has something nice to say. This book by Kelly DiPucchio gets kids thinking about the benefits of being different so that they have the confidence to be themselves everywhere, including at school. Ages: 4-8


sesame street offers good back-to-school books
Random House Books for Young Readers

What If…? Answers to Calm First-Day-of-School Jitters

$9 BUY NOW

Young kids can have lots of anxiety, especially when faced with something new, (like starting school, of course). Luckily, Elmo and his Sesame Street friends are here to relieve those first-time jitters! This back-to-school book by Sonali Fry answers lots of questions (What if I don't like my teacher? What if I don't know where the bathroom is?) to ease your little one's worries. Ages: 4-6


Flamingo Books

My School Stinks!

$14 BUY NOW

The whole family will love this hilarious back-to-school story by Becky Sharnhorst. Told through journal entries about a boy who finds himself at a new school where the other students are REAL animals, he's even dealing with a locker buddy who bites! Is faking sick going to get him out of school? You'll have to read to find out! Ages: 5-7


Mascot Books

Am I a Unicorn?

$15 BUY NOW

In her latest book, author Stephanie Sorkin teaches children the valuable lessons of embracing their uniqueness and accepting others for who they are inside. The story touches on self-esteem and diversity, ultimately teaching the important lesson of accepting everyone's individuality. Ages: 5-8


The King of Kindergarten is a cute back-to-school book for little kids
Nancy Paulsen Books

The King of Kindergarten

$10+ BUY NOW

Starting kindergarten is a big milestone. The hero of this back-to-school book by Derrick Barnes is ready to make his mark! He’s dressed himself, eaten a pile of pancakes, and can’t wait to be part of a whole new kingdom of kids. Starting school with positive energy is a great way to get past all of the new school year nerves. Ages: 4-6


Mascot Books

Nutley the Nut-Free Squirrel

$14 BUY NOW

Being different can be hard, especially when you are dealing with a nut allergy. This sweet story from author Stephanie Sorkin delves into the ups and downs of food allergies in an easy to understand way. Bonus: all proceeds from this book go to F.A.R.E, an organization dedicated to food allergy research and education. Ages: 2-6


How to Be Kind in Kindergarten: A Book for Your Backpack

$6+ BUY NOW

From the best-selling author D. J Stenberg, here’s a guidebook that shows kids how to be kind in the new and exciting world of kindergarten. Helping out classmates and cheering up kids who look sad are great ways to make new kindergarten friends. Ages: 3-5


Orchard Books

The Worrysaurus

$9 BUY NOW

It's a beautiful day and Worrysaurus has planned a special picnic. But it isn't long before a small butterfly of worry starts fluttering in his tummy. This book by Rachel Bright normalizes feelings of worry and helps to problem solve ways to make yourself feel better. 

All the products listed are independently & personally selected by our shopping editors.

If you buy something from the links in this article, we may earn affiliate commission or compensation. Prices and availability reflect the time of publication.

All images courtesy of retailers.

We have all the deets on the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale

It’s that special time of year when the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale rolls out the savings, and our credit cards see some extra miles and points. The 2023 sale is no joke. There are a ton of goodies (seriously, over 60 pages of them) to choose from. But, out of the hundreds of products available on the site, here are the pieces that really caught our eye and would help make things a little easier, more fun and extra luxurious—’cause you deserve it.

Dyson Airwrap Multi-Styler Complete Long

Dyson

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MAC Treasured Kiss Lip Kit

MAC Cosmetics

MAC Treasured Kiss Lip Kit ($45.00 $30.00)—Buy Here!

Wit & Wisdom Ab Solution High Waist Itty Bitty Bootcut Jeans

Wit & Wisdom

Wit & Wisdom Ab Solution High Waist Itty Bitty Bootcut Jeans ($88.00 $58.99)—Buy Here!

Steve Madden Cassady Loafer Mule

Steve Madden

Steve Madden Cassady Loafer Mule ($94.95 $64.99)—Buy Here!

RAVA Flame-Retardant Free Convertible Car Seat

RAVA

RAVA Flame-Retardant Free Convertible Car Seat ($550.00 $399.99)—Buy Here!

Wacol Red Carpet Convertible Strapless Bra

Wacol

Wacol Red Carpet Convertible Strapless Bra ($76.00 $49.99)—Buy Here!

Barefoot Dreams CozyChic Ultra Lite Open Front Cardigan

Barefoot Dreams

Barefoot Dreams CozyChic Ultra Lite Open Front Cardigan ($145.00 $99.99)—Buy Here!

MAXI-COSI Zelia Luxe Stroller & Mico Luxe Infant Car Seat 5-in-1 Modular Travel System

MAXI-COSI

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Barefoot Dreams In the Wild Throw Blanket

Barefoot Dreams

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Dermaflash Ultrasonic Pore Extractor & Serum Infuser

Dermaflash

Dermaflash Ultrasonic Pore Extractor & Serum Infuser ($99.00 $66.00)—Buy Here!

Stokke Tripp Trapp Highchair, Baby Set, Cushion & Tray Set

Stokke

Stokke Tripp Trapp Highchair, Baby Set, Cushion & Tray Set ($399.00 $298.99)—Buy Here!

Oribe Dry Texturizing Spray Duo Set

Oribe

Oribe Dry Texturizing Spray Duo Set ($98.00 $74.00)—Buy Here!

Vineyard Vines Kids' Exclusive Half Zip Pullover

Vineyard Vines

Vineyard Vines Kids' Exclusive Half Zip Pullover ($65.00 $42.99)—Buy Here!

MAXI-COSI Cassia Baby Swing

MAXI-COSI

MAXI-COSI Cassia Baby Swing ($199.99 $149.99)—Buy Here!

Skechers Kids' Twinkle Toes Twinkle Sparks Glitter Gems Light-Up Sneaker

Skechers

Skechers Kids' Twinkle Toes Twinkle Sparks Glitter Gems Light-Up Sneaker ($47.00 $34.99)—Buy Here!

PEHR Essential Organic Cotton Baby Romper

PEHR

PEHR Essential Organic Cotton Baby Romper ($46.00 $27.99)—Buy Here!

Native Shoes Kids' Robbie Sugarlite Slip-On Sneaker

Native Shoes

Native Shoes Kids' Robbie Sugarlite Slip-On Sneaker ($55.00 $38.99)—Buy Here!

Herschel Pop Quiz Backpack

Herschel Supply Co.

Herschel Pop Quiz Backpack ($90.00 $62.99)—Buy Here!

NUNA PIPA urbn + TRVL Stroller & Car Seat Travel System

NUNA

NUNA PIPA urbn + TRVL Stroller & Car Seat Travel System ($900.00 $674.99)—Buy Here!

Nike Big Kids' Downshifter 12 Sneaker

Nike

Nike Big Kids' Downshifter 12 Sneaker ($65.00 $48.99)—Buy Here!

Mini Pavé Initial Necklace

Argento Vivo Sterling Silver

Mini Pavé Initial Necklace ($58.00 $39.99)—Buy Here!

Bernardo Chevron Quilted Lightweight Puffer Jacket

Bernardo

Bernardo Chevron Quilted Lightweight Puffer Jacket ($150.00 $99.99)—Buy Here!

Versace 57mm Gradient Square Sunglasses

Versace

Versace 57mm Gradient Square Sunglasses ($276.00 $183.99)—Buy Here!

Kut From The Kloth Meg Fab Ab High Waist Raw Hem Wide Leg Jeans

Kut From The Kloth

Kut From The Kloth Meg Fab Ab High Waist Raw Hem Wide Leg Jeans ($109.00 $72.99)—Buy Here!

BCBG Boxxa Block Heel Chelsea Boot

BCBG

BCBG Boxxa Block Heel Chelsea Boot ($139.00 $89.99)—Buy Here!

Bellabu Bear Kids' The Eye Convertible Footie Pajamas

Bellabu Bear

Bellabu Bear Kids' The Eye Convertible Footie Pajamas ($39.99 $30.99)—Buy Here!

Sam Edelman Double Breasted Wool Blend Peacoat

Sam Edelman

Sam Edelman Double Breasted Wool Blend Peacoat ($220.00 $139.99)—Buy Here!

Open Edit 3-Piece Cozy Rib Pajamas

Open Edit

Open Edit 3-Piece Cozy Rib Pajamas ($89.00 $59.99)—Buy Here!

Viking Set of 2 3-Ply Nonstick Stainless Steel Fry Pans

Viking

Viking Set of 2 3-Ply Nonstick Stainless Steel Fry Pans ($149.99 $79.99)—Buy Here!

Habitual Kids Puff Sleeve Sweatshirt & Joggers Set

Habitual Kids

Habitual Kids Puff Sleeve Sweatshirt & Joggers Set ($50.00 $32.99)—Buy Here!

Marc Fisher Ltd. Georgiey Pointed Toe Knee High Boot

Marc Fisher Ltd.

Marc Fisher Ltd. Georgiey Pointed Toe Knee High Boot ($269.00 $159.99)—Buy Here!

Skechers Kids' Ultra Flex 3.0 Slip-On Sneaker

Skechers

Skechers Kids' Ultra Flex 3.0 Slip-On Sneaker ($57.00 $42.99)—Buy Here!

Jetkids by Stokke BedBox 19-Inch Ride-On Carry-On Suitcase

Stokke

Jetkids by Stokke BedBox 19-Inch Ride-On Carry-On Suitcase ($229.00 $170.99)—Buy Here!

Little Me Chambray Jacket, Long Sleeve Thermal Shirt & Corduroy Pants Set

Little Me

Little Me Chambray Jacket, Long Sleeve Thermal Shirt & Corduroy Pants Set ($68.00 $43.99)—Buy Here!

Little Me Leopard Print Faux Fur Hooded Jacket, T-Shirt & Leggings

Little Me

Little Me Leopard Print Faux Fur Hooded Jacket, T-Shirt & Leggings ($68.00 $43.99)—Buy Here!

All the products listed are independently & personally selected by our shopping editors.

If you buy something from the links in this article, we may earn affiliate commission or compensation. Prices and availability reflect the time of publication.

All images courtesy of retailers.

Your kids aren’t the only ones who will love the last idea on the list

In anticipation of another school season, not to mention all the shopping that comes with it, these back-to-school ideas will help get kids in the headspace of a new school year. From chalk messages to lunch notes, and family dinners, these are our favorite back-to-school traditions to choose from to help make the new year feel special.

This article is sponsored by Kemps®, which has been delighting families with wholesome and delicious dairy products since 1914. Just in time for the new school year, Kemps® has recently introduced Kemps® Smooth Cottage Cheese—a healthy, convenient, and versatile snack that’s the perfect addition to your child’s lunchbox, and your fridge for after-school snacks.

1. Count it down. Make the first day of school something to look forward to by crafting a paper countdown chain. Each day, tear one link off the chain and ask the kiddos to name something they’re looking forward to about school.

2. Have a show-and-tell dinner on the first night. Family dinners are always important, but make it a back-to-school tradition to allow the kids to tell you everything about their first day, from the friends they haven’t seen over the summer to the classroom layout or what they had for lunch.

3. A day-one surprise. Celebrate the first day in style with a visit from the First Day of School Fairy. She can deliver a few back-to-school school supplies, along with an encouraging note for the new year. For more on this fun idea, visit Differentiated Kindergarten.

4. Make a family motto. To help your little ones start the new school year in the right mindset, come up with a short family motto. It’ll help remind everyone what’s important in tough moments throughout the year. Have the kids write it out and decorate it. Learn more about the importance of creating a family “coat of arms” here

5. Customize something. You can order specialized pencils with their name or label their new water bottle, but allowing your kids to stake their claim on school gear can help them feel confident about heading back to school.

6. Make an awesome breakfast. You’ll be throwing cereal and milk at the kids soon enough, so why not whip up a fancy breakfast for their first day? It’ll keep your kids full, and make them look forward to getting up early! 

7. Read a special book the night before. Whether it’s Oh, The Places You’ll Go! or Miss Nelson Is Missing!find a classic picture book that’ll get your kids ready to start the new year.

8. Decorate your pad. Either let your kids help with the decor or surprise your school-aged sweeties with a decorated door when they wake up in the morning. Whatever you choose to do, it’s a great way to celebrate!

9. Draw a self-portrait. Let your little Einsteins create a version of themselves in a back-to-school outfit. It’s a great way to pass those last few summer days, and it’s a sure bet for getting kids excited about donning their new threads and heading to the classroom. See how Hands On As We Grow completed this fun activity.

10.  Make a sundae bar. This sweet, simple back-to-school idea is sure to calm anyone’s jitters about heading back to school. Put your favorite toppings in jars and make them meaningful with labels encouraging the qualities you’d like to see demonstrated throughout the new year. Have your little scholar cover their ice cream in kindness, bravery, obedience, and happiness, and then top it off with sprinkles of love. 

11. Celebrate School Year’s Eve. You celebrate New Year’s Eve, so why not do the same for School Year’s Eve? Get poppers or noisemakers, provide a few treats, and throw a little dance party. It’ll get your students excited for what’s to come, and it’s a great way to include some of the other fun ideas on this list. Looking for more inspiration? Check out the School Year’s Eve party guide over at 11 Cupcakes.

12.  Interview your kids. Discover goals, fears, and questions about school by interviewing your little scholars before the first bell rings. It’s not very hard to come up with a list of questions, and whether you write down the answers or videotape your tykes, it’s a memory everyone will treasure for years to come.

13. Create a bucket list. You do it for summer, so why not make one for the school year? Whether they want to jump a reading level or two or try out for a new sport, when kids have goals, they succeed!

Related: 39 School Jokes for Kids (because You Really Need a Laugh)

back to school traditions and back to school ideas like back to school pictures are fun
Brittney Fort

 

14. Take cool pictures. Everyone loves to document the first and last day of school. There are so many creative ways to commemorate the occasion—from chalkboards to t-shirts and more. You can find our favorite ideas here. For those simply wanting to share moments with friends and family without making it a public display, there are safe options like the Tinybeans app (you can learn more and download it here!), which puts parents in total control of who can see and interact with photos and videos.

15. Have a back-to-school dinner. Make a favorite meal that includes one of these delicious Disney Park treats and celebrate the start of another school year with an awesome dinner in their honor will always make your kids feel special.

16. Have a special activity for the end of the first day of school. Whether you take them to their favorite park to burn off that first-day anxiety, have a craft planned, or grab an ice cream and talk, it’s easy to make the first after-school afternoon unique.

17. Write a sidewalk chalk message. If there’s a sweeter first day of school tradition than a chalk message outside the front door, we haven’t found it. Go all out or keep it simple; either way, it’s an extra boost to help ease those first-day jitters. If your first day is distance learning, surprise the kids with a message they can see from the window or on a quick preschool start walk. 

18. Give them a new book. Get your bookworms ready by gifting them a new book before school starts. Those required reading minutes will go faster when they’ve got the latest release in their favorite series. Plus, we’re pretty sure kids can never have too many books.

19. Pack a super special lunch.
Packing their lunch in a special lunchbox or bento box with a treat or a lunchbox joke is a great back-to-school idea! Get your kids involved by asking them what they want, and have them help you get it ready! Check out our favorite creative lunches here

20. Top Ten. Much like late-night talk shows’ top ten lists, this one asks kids to list the top ten moments of their first day back in school.

21. Make a time capsule. Whether you choose to open it at the end of the school year or much later on in your kids’ school career, a time capsule is a great way to capture these special moments.

 

“Live by the Golden Rule… but also know there’s more to it”

What exactly does it take to raise a compassionate, empathetic, and open-minded boy? According to experts, the key is open, honest, and frequent communication—starting when boys are young. We came up with 10 easy yet important messages for raising a son with compassion.

1. It’s more than OK to show and share your emotions.
Boys traditionally haven’t been encouraged to express themselves emotionally. Instead, they are applauded for their prowess in physical pursuits like sports. Despite social progress that has definitively proven otherwise, “boys don’t cry” and “man up” remain common-if-outdated sentiments among even the most well-meaning parents. “Boys can have battles and want to jump off of things and light things on fire, and still be emotionally complex and need to be held when they are upset,” says Rosalind Wiseman, a parenting educator and author of Masterminds and Wingmen. Let your boy cry, hug him and tell him that you support him, always.

2. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
According to Dr. Mary L. Gavin, what kids worry about is often related to the age and stage they’re in. For boys, particularly tween-aged and teenaged ones, anxiety about their changing bodies and changing social dynamics can easily and quickly spiral out of control. Encourage your boy to focus on what’s genuinely important—like having a solid foundation of knowing what’s right and what’s wrong—and to let go of the trivial stuff.

3. Live by the Golden Rule… but also know there’s more to it.
Beyond teaching the Golden Rule, which is to treat others as you’d want to be treated, impress upon your boy that while respect is a two-way street, tolerance, and acceptance are just as important. According to Dana Williams, parenting columnist at Teaching Tolerance, the Golden Rule alone is insufficient. “There are times when we as parents must explain things that are painful and unfair—racism, sexism, stereotypes, hate. Times when we must comfort our children, times I have had to help my eight-year-old son learn that what some would do unto him isn’t always kind or fair.” Teach boys that mutual respect is just a start toward open-hearted acceptance.

4. Learn to walk in others’ shoes.
An essential life skill that parents should teach children is empathy. “It sounds a lot like ‘sympathy,’ but empathy is quite different,” says business and life coach Justine Campbell of Mindquest Group. “Empathy is about feeling with other people. It’s the ability to understand and experience another’s feelings, and to respond in ways that help, not hinder.” Research shows that while the ability to understand others’ perspectives begins rising steadily in girls starting from age 13, it doesn’t really begin for boys until age 15. Empathy is like a muscle that needs to be flexed over time to gain power.

5. Know that kindness is one of your greatest strengths.
Speaking of muscles: perhaps the greatest muscle everyone needs to use more is kindness. Encouraging boys to practice kindness will help to habituate them to know how to give and receive kindness, which will reap benefits in current and future relationships. Science has proven that kindness and generosity are the two driving forces that lead to successful, long-term relationships. Remind your boy that the more he uses his kindness muscle, the stronger it’ll get.

Related: 20 Empowering Things to Say to Your Daughter Every Day

a little boy who's parents are raising a son with compassion for others
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6. Celebrate those who are different from you.
If empathy and tolerance are foundational skills required for nurturing a boy to become a nurturing, caring man, teaching him to celebrate differences in others will empower him to recognize and love the differences in himself. Scholastic has a useful lesson plan and reading list for learning about differences that can help foster a greater understanding for both young and old people alike.

7. Share what you have generously and willingly.
Generosity is an infectious condition. According to Nancy Eisenberg, a researcher who specializes in children’s social development, children become more generous by having the experience of giving to others—and learning how good that feels. But there’s a catch: Eisenberg cautions that the giving experience needs to be voluntary. “If we force children to share, they walk away resentful, not feeling generous. Not surprisingly, they’re less likely to share after that.”

8. Recognize and embrace your own strengths and ideas—don’t always go with the flow.
Few people would argue that callous behavior is somehow innate. If anything, bad attitudes and jerkiness tend to be learned over time—and either tamped down or reinforced by our social circles. Studies have shown that rudeness can be as contagious as the common cold; thus, it’s important to teach boys that they have control and ownership of their behavior and ideas, even if the crowd does and believes something different.

9. Know when to say “I’m sorry.”
For many people, especially men, the two hardest words to say are “I’m sorry.” Girls and women often are conditioned to apologize, whether or not an apology is warranted. Teaching boys the power of saying “I’m sorry” will instill self-awareness and humility, and give them a head start in understanding that taking personal responsibility is a quality that will serve them well into their adulthood.

10. Be yourself.
Whether you’re raising a son who is a star athlete who likes to wear black nail polish or a math whiz who likes to watch Broadway musicals, letting your kid know that he is perfect exactly the way he is will empower him to love himself, no matter what external cultural and social forces and messages may be put upon him. Reinforcing the truth that there isn’t a single way to “be a man” will help to create a new generation of boys who’ll change the world for the better.

Related: 9 ‘Harmless’ Phrases That Hurt Kids More Than You Think

First of all, it’s hard. Parenting, I mean. Parenting is hard, no matter how you do it. Totally sober or drunk half the time, it’s not an easy job for anyone.

The hardest part of parenting for me is the anxiety. It’s more than just worries. It’s an embodied sensation, a tightening in my gut, a shallowness of breath that used to not go away until I had a drink or two.

Early on in my motherhood journey, I would use alcohol as a way to relax at the end of the day, to let go, to finally unwind after all that caregiving.

But after a while, I realized clearly that my seemingly harmless drinks at night had spiraled into a full-blown addiction. Even though I wasn’t drinking all day long, even though I was only having a drink or two every other night, I didn’t know how to unwind anymore without some wine or tequila—and I realized I had to stop.

My story is way more dramatic than that, but I won’t go into it here. That’s not the point. The point is what has happened on the other side of the drinking.

What I learned from being a sober mom is that sober parenting takes extra skills. When I stopped drinking, I had to learn how to achieve that calm and relaxed state that booze would give me, by myself. Meditation has been my number one tool. Also nature hikes, yoga, baths, reading, breathing, and singing all help. And, although these things are usually not as fun as a few margaritas, they do have their amazing and blissful moments.

Becoming a sober parent also meant I had to face all that emotional stuff I was trying to shove under the rug with my rosé. I found I actually still had a lot of trauma to heal around my experience of giving birth. I had a big pile of resentments I had to sort through. I uncovered wells of grief, rage, anger, sadness, guilt, and shame that needed to be sifted through and healed. None of that was accessible when I was drinking to self-soothe. I was suppressing my actual feelings. And the truth is, they really needed my attention.

Once I was able to give my attention to those neglected feelings in a real way through sobriety, things got a lot better. My stress levels went down. My anxiety became totally manageable. I experienced less depression. I felt less overwhelmed. I learned how to actually handle life.

But the best part was this: I became more present and loving with my kid. I didn’t feel like I needed to escape from her or numb out from motherhood anymore. I had actually processed and dealt with my emotional stuff; I had learned how to regulate my anxiety in a real way and I was able to be a way better parent than I was before.

Another truth about sober parenting, though, is that my social circles and activities changed. There was a while when I was pretty lonely and bored. But then I found other sober mom friends and started to fill my life with healthy activities.

I started waking up earlier and hiking. I started building a cool business that I love instead of feeling overwhelmed and unfocused. I started going out to dinner with whole tables of people who didn’t order drinks and we still had a lot of fun. I started going to meditation groups and finding new connections. I finished and published my book. My life got richer, fuller, and more diverse, and I got a lot healthier.

Being a sober parent has a lot of perks. I don’t have to worry about hangovers when my child wakes up at 6 a.m. and I have to be up with her. I don’t worry about being a little tipsy in the middle of the night when she needs me. I don’t have to worry about having a panic attack because I suppressed my anxiety and emotions with alcohol too many nights in a row. I don’t have to worry about not being able to drive her if there is an emergency.

All I have to worry about is the normal parenting stuff and how to best take care of all of us, including myself. And yeah, maybe I have to decline a few invitations to Mom’s Night Out to a bar. I have a few friends that I don’t hang out with much anymore because of how deep they are into drinking culture. I have to say no to the delicious-looking stout at the burger place and get a soda or some water instead. But those are all trade-offs I am happy to make.

Because the truth about sober parenting is that it actually is easier. Now that I have taken responsibility for my own emotions, now that I have learned how to calm down without external substances, now that I have enhanced my life with new hobbies and new friends, everything is better.

I have more energy, more happiness, better health, more interests, and a much better ability to be available and present for my child. And that is worth more than any drunken night out or calming nightcap in the evening. Being sober has made me a better parent and a better person, and that’s the truth.

Flow is an Author and Memoir Writing Coach for Womxn. Feeling the call to write your true life story into a book that inspires? Sign up to join a Free Memoir Writing Breakthrough Workshop through her website, and get the clarity and momentum you need to make it happen.

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If you find yourself spending all day repeating “No No No” to your kids, consider planning a ‘Yes Day’

No matter what type of parent you are, we’re betting you find yourself saying the word “no” more often than you ever thought you would. Give that word, and yourself, a break by surprising the kids with a Yes Day. What is a Yes Day? It’s exactly like it sounds. One day where kids get to request whatever they want (see rules below), and you go along for the ride. Will they eat way too much candy? Probably. Will it be one of the best days of the year for you and your family? Absolutely. Oh, and the trail of candy wrappers you’ll be picking up the day after? Worth it.

 

So, What Exactly IS a ‘Yes Day?’

A Yes Day sounds exactly like what it is—it’s a day where your answer to your kids will always be “yes.”  Ice cream for breakfast? Yes. Wearing pajamas all day? Yep. Movie marathon? You got it.  Before you decide this is a miserable idea, hear us out. With a few simple ground rules and a little prep, this day will become one that everyone in the family loves.

‘Yes Day’ Background

If the idea of a Yes Day sounds familiar (looking at you, Jennifer Garner fans) the idea originated from a book of the same name by Amy Rosenthal-Krause and Tom Lichtenheld. A little boy in the story gets a day when his parents can’t say no to anything. Sounds like a kid’s dream, right? But guess what? Saying yes to your kids teaches you something, too. Parents who indulge in a Yes Day report a feeling of closeness and connectedness with their kids. And guess what that results in? Kids listen better. One mom told us that after her first Yes Day with her son, she discovered just how many times she automatically said no, to herself and her kid, when she didn’t need to.

 

It’s Not As Scary As You Think

Yes Day rules
Andie Huber

 

Of course, the concept of allowing your kids to run wild for a day where you can’t say no would be alarming. But not if you lay out the boundaries, first. The first thing to remind kids is that a Yes Day is one day, and the requests cannot be something that causes harm to themselves or anyone else.

Second, you also get to ask the kids to do things: but your ground rules are that you shouldn’t ask them to do additional “boring” stuff beyond their everyday chores, homework, etc. You should ask them to do random things, like “Do you want to run around the house four times with me?” Or, “Do you mind if I wear your fairy wings?”

Make sure you are clear with the kids that a Yes Day only lasts for a day, meaning any requests made cannot take place over a series of days, or in the future. Plus, you can limit the amount of travel you’re able to do in one day. (i.e.: no spur-of-the-moment trips to Disney.) This can also apply to how much money it costs. Set a budget you’re comfortable with, and it will remove some anxiety about what they can choose.

You can ease into Yes Day by trying a Yes Morning or Yes Afternoon. Pick your day in advance, too, to encourage kids to plan “Mom, can we have a jump rope competition?” Save it for Yes Day! Besides, the anticipation is half the fun.

And the real golden rule? Don’t do it on a weekday/schoolday/workday.

Above all, you know your kids best. And the chances of them asking for something outlandish are pretty slim. The real joy comes from hearing “Yes.”

Some Cool Ideas for Your ‘Yes Day’

father and son having fun for yes day
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If you’re on the fence about whether this could work in your family, maybe some ideas for Yes Day will convince you to do it. This will vary depending on the ages of your kids, but keeping it simple will help it work across the board. In the days leading up to your selected day, you can drop some hints about what activities would be cool to do on Yes Day.

Consider a family game night, and get a new board game or two to have on hand.

Head to a local park where you swing with them on the swings or play that endless game of tag.

Eat dessert before dinner.

Keep a bunch of crafting supplies on hand and be ready to create.

Do crazy, messy science experiments.

Build an epic fort.

Remember, the key is for the kids to see you enjoying yourself doing the things that they value.

Why You Should Do It

While you may think there’s nothing constructive to come out of learning how to have a Yes Day with your family, the benefits might surprise you. With just one day a year, you’re empowering your children to make decisions, as silly as they may be, and allowing them to see a different side of you. Hearing no all the time can be a little defeating, for both you and them, and giving them authority for one day teaches them how to use it. Not only that, but also permitting yourself to be relaxed and carefree one day a year prompts you to live in the moment, much like kids do every day, and enjoy every minute. You’re making memories that will last a lifetime for both you and the kids, full of giggles and most importantly, time spent together.

How many questions a day do you answer? Probably thousands, right? Congrats. You are winning at this parenting thing

They say that curiosity may have killed the cat, but as it turns out, it’s a great thing in kids. And since research suggests that curiosity is an accelerant, if not a root cause of learning, then it’s no surprise that educators are taking a closer look at the relationship between natural curiosity in kids and skills that predict success in life. Here are five reasons why supporting your curious kid is more important than ever.

Curiosity Drives Learning

As noted in Psychological Science, “Researchers have demonstrated that curiosity—long thought to help motivate learning—is also associated with better learning outcomes.” Simply—a child’s curiosity about a subject correlates with whether they’ll retain what they learn. Most interestingly, kids remember lessons the most when they were stumped in the first place. Curiosity and learning are, therefore, less about finding answers than about the process of seeking understanding.

Educators who slow down and provide students time to wonder and be curious about an idea before expecting them to provide a rote answer are adept at fostering curiosity in the classroom. “Curiosity does not hold up well under intense expectation. Our role as teachers is not to provide answers. Our role is to give time and free rein to inherent curiosity and questions and let our students exist in the heightened state of hungering for knowledge,” explains education advisor and professor Eric Shonstrom.

Curiosity Builds Psychological Safety & Is a Healthy Response to Uncertainty

The Journal of American Medical Association (JAMA) reports children’s depression and anxiety rates may have doubled since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. Developing a curiosity skillset can help create your children’s psychological safety, which is the idea that someone feels safe or not afraid of being labeled or criticized for saying what they are thinking and feeling, as well as equip them with a healthy response to operating amid uncertainty.

Curiosity is also a healthy response for a child operating amid uncertainty; seeking more information helps children feel more empowered, which combats the anxiety of helplessness. “When you learn to ask more questions—especially in ambiguous situations—you’re building ‘curiosity muscles,'” says Liz Guthridge, founder of Connect Consulting Group.

Related: 13 Beautiful Books for Curious Kids

Curiosity Breeds Persistence & Scientific Thinking

curious kid playing with toys
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Have you ever been stumped? You’re literally out of ideas, and the best option is to chuck it all and go home. If you can’t think of a way out, you quit. But, when you simply must know who, what, when, where, and why, you rarely run out of questions, and you rarely quit.

Curious kids simply don’t run out of questions. One observation leads to another, and “what ifs” become “how could.” The countless questions often fired from the back seat of your car are exhibits of your child’s persistence. Instead of “giving up” on an idea, they keep turning it over, examining it from new angles and different perspectives. Keep answering those questions—even when it seems like you’re on 1,999,999 because a persistent child is a resilient child.

Curiosity Counteracts Boredom & Grows Self-Sufficiency

The old saying “curiosity killed the cat” isn’t too far off the mark when you consider most of the trouble that kids get into starts with boredom. Naturally curious children can go “un-entertained,” a.k.a. flat-out-bored, without incident. When your child is occupied with imagination—about how things work, about discovering solutions to challenges that everyday interactions in the world afford—they are more likely to be able to figure things out in other situations. Ultimately, curiosity gives children opportunities to become more confident and that grows self-sufficiency.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, sensory play is an excellent way to spark a young child’s curiosity. As they reach out to what is around them, their discoveries are cataloged. The more experiences they gather, the better they become at differentiating between them, and their curiosity about what makes one experience different from the next will grow.

Curiosity Makes Your Kids Happier

Instead of being inwardly focused, curious children are aware of what’s going on around them. Research has shown that trying new things, looking for new adventures, and being interested in others promote overall well-being. And, as noted in Greater Good Magazine, our brains release dopamine and other feel-good chemicals when we encounter new things. So, if your curious kid is busy expanding their horizons, whether in school, in activities, or in friendships, there’s a good chance they’re going to feel pretty darn good about themselves.

Related: 7 Podcasts That Curious Kids Will Love

Gone are the days where having a strong vocabulary only mattered on the SAT. Kids today—now, more than ever—need a solid vocabulary, not only for success in school, but also to express themselves in a way that empowers them to make an impact on the world around them. According to Boston Children’s Hospital, the most important thing you can do to help a child experiencing heightened stress and anxiety is to listen to them. And if they have the vocabulary (and emotional awareness) to express themselves, you’ve equipped them to take control of that situation. So whether you’re motivated to build toddler language development for school success or for social and emotional reasons, you’re winning at parenting. And these language development games and activities for kids can help you do it.

1. Read Together

We’ll bet you’re already practicing this toddler language development strategy in your home without even realizing it. According to Sandra Gatlin, a fourth-grade teacher with over 30 years of experience, “The key to a broad vocabulary is to foster a love of reading in your child. Whether from reading together as toddlers, or listening to them read to you as they develop their abilities, you cannot find a better way to expand your vocabulary.”

Extra Credit: Don’t stop reading to your kids, even after they can do it on their own. Choose a book that interests them that’s above their reading level, and “talk about what you’re reading, so you can work on comprehension, too,” adds Gatlin.

Related: 40 of the Very Best Books for Toddlers

2. Go Hunting for Sight Words with Nerf Guns

“My son doesn’t want to look at a workbook or sit still after he’s been at school all day,” mom and educator extraordinaire, Anne Hart, says. So she wrote sight words on Post-It notes and stuck them on the ceiling, near the baseboards, and behind doors throughout her house. Now, her son picks up a Nerf gun and gets prizes for shooting the right word that Hart calls out. We love this strategy that supports toddler language development and makes it fun in the process.

Extra Credit: Don’t stop at sight words. You can play this game with vocabulary words and definitions. Just write the word on the Post-It note, and read the definition out to your hunter, who’ll go “hunting” for the correct word.

3. Match and Go Seek

Another great toddler language development game, match and go seek, also involves Post-It notes. Make two copies of each word, then give one stack to your child, and place the other notes on corresponding items. For instance, give your child a Post-It note with the word “tree” written on it, then place another one on the trunk of a tree in the backyard. Get more creative and advanced as his or her vocabulary grows.

Extra Credit: The National Center on Improving Literacy reports that “remote literacy learning includes a mixture of literacy learning experiences that are teacher-led, family-led, and student-led. Parents have an important role in helping develop your child’s literacy skills.” Your involvement in growing your child’s vocabulary has never been more important.

two parents play on the best with a baby working on language development
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4. Talk to Your Children

Tracy Cutchlow, author of Zero to Five: 70 Essential Parenting Tips Based on Science, says three-year-olds with whom parents regularly engage in contextualized conversation have IQs 150% greater than those whose parents don’t talk to them. And, since your child’s vocabulary can quadruple in their second year of life, you can’t start too early when it comes to talking to them.

Extra Credit: “It’s hard to know what to say to someone who doesn’t talk back,” says Atlanta preschool director Nancy Hill. “But I used to talk to my daughter so much when she was an infant that I’d be startled when my husband would come home and actually talk back to me!” She suggests listening to the sounds around you—like a bird tweeting, a truck rumbling, or a dog barking—then repeating the sound and labeling it as “bird,” “truck,” or “dog.”

5. Introduce Sneaky Synonyms

When your child tells you something, respond in a way that introduces a synonym for the word they used. For example, if your child says that the dog was “really big,” you might reply and say it sounds “gigantic.” Reading Rockets, a website dedicated to helping kids learn to read, suggests that parents keep new words active since kids learn by repetition and practice. Don’t just say it once. Instead, find ways to work it into your conversation multiple times.

Extra Credit: Kids love telling stories. Give them a topic and have them tell you a story about it. This gives you ample opportunities to introduce sneaky synonyms in an organic way.

a toddler sits on her mom's lap with her dad nearby, smiling and talking working on language development
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6. Use Word Play in Favorite Songs

Rhymes have always been used as a tool in learning, so it’s no surprise that kids love changing the lyrics for favorite songs. “When ‘Old Town Road’ was being played all the time on the radio, I changed the lyrics to I’m gonna take my mom to the grocery store, she’s gonna shop like she can’t no more…My kids caught on, and every time the song came on we’d make up a new grocery list, instead of singing the song’s actual lyrics,” said mother of four Renee Stafford.

Extra Credit: Along the same lines, you can kill plenty of time on long car rides by making a collaborative poem. One person starts the poem, then the next person adds a line, and on.

Related: Spotify Playlists for Babies & Toddlers That Parents Will Actually Enjoy 

7. Write Stories

“Verbal and written vocabularies often don’t match up, with verbal vocabulary being stronger for many years because of the help of context clues within sentence structure,” says Prof. of Early Childhood Education and Literacy Meredith Cristofferson. One way to help bridge the gap? Have your kids write their own stories. It’s like working your back muscles to improve your abdomen’s strength. Creating context for words helps you develop your use of words, and helps you look for new ways to represent ideas.

Extra Credit: Give your kids a word bank and ask them to write a story using the words you’ve given them. Be sure and provide them with a list of verbs, nouns, adjectives, and adverbs.

Related: Life Sentence: 6 Ways to Write a Story with Kids

Spending time with friends will actually boost your immunity

If you can’t remember the last time you had a girl’s night out, you’ll want to want to plan one ASAP. One study shows why women should spend time with friends—and it’s not just for the wine and laughs.

Researchers at the University of Oxford found that women’s overall health and well-being improved when they spent time with four best friends twice a week to partake in specific activities. According to the study, these activities include drinking beer, gossiping, and discussing rivals. The research found that women interact best by joking and talking about things that make them laugh.

The health benefits from these regular friend dates included a stronger immune system, faster recovery times from illness, a decrease in anxiety, and an increase in generosity. The optimal way to make the most of these benefits was to meet with up to four friends, any more and the probability of generating the necessary endorphins for happiness was decreased.

In an interview with Scientific American in 2017, University of Oxford researcher and evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar explained how common activities associated with friendship actually benefit our health: “Laughing together, jogging together, dancing together, singing together, telling emotionally wrenching stories, going to see weepy films—these activities buffer the body biochemically and immunologically against the kinds of coughs and colds of everyday life.”

How did the study figure out exactly how often you should see your besties? “The figure of twice a week comes from our findings that this is the amount of time that you typically spend with your closest friends/family,” Dunbar told The Huffington Post.

Despite all the benefits, the study found that only two out of five women actually have the time to go out with friends once a week and less so once they have kids. It’s not easy to make time for yourself, but clearly making the effort for mom’s night out is worth it.