We all want a home that’s stylish, comfortable, and inviting. Some of us even spend hours scrolling through Insta-worthy design accounts, pinning rooms on Pinterest, and devoting way too much time to the latest home makeover shows. However, despite our best efforts, we often fall victim to common interior design mistakes that can leave a room feeling less than ideal.
So, we consulted interior design experts to learn more about the most common mistakes they see and how to fix them. From getting a little too matchy-matchy to investing in a too-small area rug to stay on budget, here are nine common interior design mistakes and easy tips on how to avoid them.
Common Interior Design Mistake #1: Purchasing a rug that’s too small for the room and its furnishings.
Selena Reif and Erin Anderson, the Southern California powerhouse designers behind Fleurish Interiors notice many of their clients making the same common interior design mistakes despite having the best intentions. Topping the list—the wrong rug size. “A good rule of thumb is to make sure the front two legs of every piece of furniture are on the rug, and smaller pieces like coffee tables, ottomans, and benches should be completely on the rug. If it’s a rug in a dining space, make sure you can pull the chairs out enough for people to get on and off them while keeping the chair on the rug the whole time,” Anderson says.
Common Mistake #2: Pushing furniture to the walls of a room, especially in the living room.
To create more space, people tend to jam furniture against the walls. Unfortunately, this interior design mistake has the opposite effect. “Oftentimes we see a sofa or sectional shoved against a wall or corner, and it makes the room feel cramped, despite the thought that giving more space in the middle might do otherwise,” explains Reif.
But don’t worry—there’s an easy fix. The interior design duo advises clients to “pull your furniture off the walls to create some breathing room, and if there’s enough space, you can even add a console table or piece of furniture behind it to add depth and layer to your room.”
Common Mistake #3: Hanging curtains too low.
Many interior design mistakes stem from scale and how things are hung or positioned in a room. Here’s what Reif and Anderson suggest: “Hang your curtains high and wide. Rather than placing the curtain rod just above and slightly wider than the window, we like to go up almost to the ceiling (if it’s an 8’-10’ ceiling) and give enough width to the rod that when open, the curtains can bunch to sides of the window while only overlapping the glass by a couple of inches. This gives the room height and creates the illusion of a much wider window.”
Ideally, you want a room to coordinate but not match. Rooms that look collected over time and feature a variety of tones, textures, and materials always look more stylish than rooms that look like they could have been purchased all from the same store. Reif’s takeaway, “We know they do make the bed and nightstands and dresser all in a matching style, but choose your favorite piece and only get that one. Then pick complementary pieces for the rest of the furniture so the room feels thoughtful and collected.”
Common Mistake #5: Believing that new is always better.
Designers will tell you that nothing dates a room more than everything being from the same era. Anderson says, “Just like you wouldn’t want all the furniture in your room to be from the same set, you wouldn’t want everything to be brand new, either. Add in some vintage. Bringing in something aged or timeworn helps to bring character and a beautiful texture to your space. It doesn’t need to be a big or expensive piece. Think planters, accessories, or even art!”.
Common Interior Design Mistake #6: Outdated hardware.
Interior Designer Melanie Raver, owner of Rave Interior Design, shares a common interior design mistake that’s easy to fix and won’t break the bank. “Clients often keep their hardware on cabinetry in the kitchen, bathroom vanities, and dressers way too long. Replacing it with something you find at local hardware stores, Amazon, or even thrifting it at your local goodwill can add character and immediately elevate your space.”
“For kitchens, go classic and streamlined; for dressers, go bold and fun! Update kids’ dressers or nightstands with fun floral knobs or big, bold, colorful balls. Don’t forget the door hardware as well. You can easily change out a door knob for a more modern look with a flat round gold or go for a vintage vibe with brass and glass. The possibilities are endless!” suggests Raver.
Common Mistake #7: Hanging art that’s too high or too small for a room.
Some designers suggest hanging art at eye level so you never have to strain your neck to see it. Another trade trick is to move your eye vertically up the wall, imagine the wall divided into four sections, and then place the art in the third quadrant, counting from the floor up. Also, try to fill as much of the wall as possible with art; if it’s a collection, orient it in the shape of the wall.
When hanging art over a sofa or headboard, the rule of thumb is to start with 5″–8″ between the top of the furniture and the bottom of the art. Of course, it depends on the size of the art piece and how much space exists between the furniture piece and your ceiling, but you can always start here and readjust.
Common Mistake #8: Bad lighting.
Even the most beautiful space looks a bit scary under fluorescent overhead lights. Always consider both natural and artificial light sources when designing a space. You won’t regret the money you invest in the bulbs and fixtures that give off the most flattering light. The most common mistake is people rely on one light (usually overhead) when good lighting is achieved by multiple sources at different heights throughout your home.
Common Interior Design Mistake #9: All trim is painted white.
One common painting faux pas often overlooked is not being intentional about the color of your trim (including crown molding, wainscoting, baseboards, etc). Design expert Raver suggests opting to “color drip” rather than having all the trim in your home painted white while the wall is painted a color. “Painting the trim or molding the same color as the wall makes it look more custom and contemporary. We don’t want the white of the trim to break apart the wall into sections, and it tends to look like an afterthought that was added rather than built-in,” advises Raver.
It’s a fact that moms usually focus their purchasing efforts on the rest of the family. Even on days like Mother’s Day, it’s not unusual to find moms shopping for their own moms, in-laws, and friends without thinking of themselves. We wanted to help lighten the load by putting together a list of the best gifts for every type of mom and mom-figure out there. Whether she’s into all things glam, prefers to keep it clean and simple, could spend all day reading (if she had time!), or is the best chef you know, we’ve got something to make her smile. And if you’re the mom in question? Well, you definitely deserve one of our favorites below.
Thin, delicate, and easy to wear with her favorite ring stacks, the Threadbare Stacking Ring by Catbird adds just the right amount of sparkle. According to Catbird, a certain American-actress-turned-princess with the initials M.M. who wears the Threadbare Ring every day would agree with us.
For the moms of both kiddos and pets, or pet moms who deserve some love on Mother's Day, too, this adorable pet sweatshirt can be customized with up to 5 of her fuzzy family members. Hand drawn from your photos by real artists, her pet's name(s) can also be included! Available in 4 colors.
Cowboy Carter Limited Edition Exclusive Cover Vinyl
Beyoncé.com
Queens (mom) recognize queens (Beyoncé), and Bey's 27-song album is a 2024 stunner. Paying homage to the Beatles, Chuck Berry, Willie Nelson, Dolly Parton, Linda Martell, and more, we'll be rocking it all summer (at least). The Limited Edition Exclusive Vinyl includes 2 translucent red vinyl discs in gatefold jacket, printed inner sleeves, and unique back jacket image. It's perfection, but we wouldn't expect anything less from Beyoncé.
Crafted by local artists in Spain, these dishes are painted in vivid colors using traditional techniques passed down by generations! They're available in 5 vibrant colors and include a salad bowl, medium bowl, salad plate, and dinner plate. Mix and match or keep it all perfectly matched. (We also made sure they're dishwasher and microwave-safe.)
Based on your favorite photo, this unique watercolor piece is a personalized illustration, hand-drawn by LETTERFEST's artists. Drawn in a freehand flowing line, the black and white portrait is overlayed over a splash of either duck-egg blue, moss green or blossom pink. Add a black, white, or oak frame for a gorgeous keepsake gift!
From beach to brunch, the River Guatemalan Palm Straw Hat by Gigi Pip is oozing with style. It also provides fantastic sun protection and comes in two colors, so we're confident mom will reach for this one over and over again!
'Undiplomatic: How My Attitude Created the Best Kind of Trouble' by Deesha Dyer
Amazon
Deesha Dyer's story of landing one of the most exclusive positions of Social Secretary in the White House under President Obama without any credentials or connections gives us goosebumps. This is an inspiring story embodies imposter syndrome, self-love, and learning innate self-worth. What mom wouldn't fully understand?
"Moved by the election of the country’s first Black president, Deesha Dyer applied for a White House internship in 2009 as a thirty-one-year-old part-time community college student, taking a leap that carried her into a permanent full-time position, followed by three promotions landing her at the epicenter of politics."
Seafoam Retro 80s Pastel Blocking Nintendo Switch Skin
Lux Skins Official
Help the gamer mom in your life protect her Nintendo Switch with this super fun retro-inspired pastel skin set! Choose from the hearts logo, classic logo, or leave it colors only. (Gaming system not included.)
This bag is a stunner! Crafted in smooth, yummy leather with sliding handles, it's the perfect size for mom to keep with her no matter where the day takes her. It's available in Honey (pictured), Chocolate, and Black.
We love that experience gifts are becoming so popular, and Tinggly's Experience Gift Boxes makes giving them super easy. Choose from over 10,000 experience gifts in 100+ countries including private food tours, hot air balloon rides, pottery classes, snorkeling, and so much more.
'Invincible' feels so appropriate for Mother's Day, doesn't it? The Nike Invincible 3 is ultra-cushioned, extremely lightweight, and is wider and taller than the original for even more stepping-on-clouds cushion to take mom from run to running errands. Available in a ton of colors, including the option to customize! Nike's Mother's Day Shop is also well worth checking out.
A unique candle is always a winning gift for mom! Fruity and earthy with scents of ripe tomato, green stem, and soil, this Heirloom Tomato Candle from Linnea is hand-poured with soy wax and double cotton wicks.
Wildflower Caramel Co. Dark Chocolate + Sea Salt Caramel
Wildflower Caramel Co.
If supporting a woman-owned small family business isn't enough, Wildflower Caramel Co.'s Dark Chocolate + Sea Salt Caramels are absolutely divine (and come in low-waste resealable packaging!).
Has the mom in your life jumped on the pickleball bandwagon yet? This customized pickleball set from Recess Pickleball includes 2 paddles, 1 box of pickleballs, and a bag, all designed by you! You can even customize a set of up to 8 paddles.
Let mom create her own little escape with this 3D Book Nook Puzzle Kit! It's such a sweet display that lights up to illuminate the small town filled with bookstores.
Each piece from Bea Bellingham is handmade in her Sydney, Australia studio. Crafted from clay and food-safe glazes, these big mugs are dishwasher/microwave safe and come in lots of different color combinations. You don't get to pick the color, either; part of the fun is seeing what gets picked for you in the design you choose!
We'll say it again: a. cheese. tower. With Quinby from Vermont’s Barn First Creamery, a brie-style goat cheese; silky triple-crème Fromager d’Affinois; and Afterglow, a goat cheese button washed with Wisconsin Red Ale. Just pair with crackers, jam, and a few strategically placed decorations and mom will be so impressed she might even share.
The Onsen Saru, or Hot Spring Monkey, brings with it a blend of sea salts and magnesium flakes scented with Japanese Matsu Pine and Cedarwood. Made in small batches, your favorite mom is going to love sinking into this soak.
Totally different from the chains we're used to seeing, this watchband-inspired anklet lays flat and would also look adorable with an anklet stacks! Also available in silver.
The Mother's Day Quencher H2.O FlowState 40oz Tumbler
Stanley
Colorful floral designs and tropical hues make the Stanley Mother's Day Collection an awesome addition to mom's collection. As with all FlowState tumblers, it keeps her drink cold for hours and is super easy to take with her anywhere!
'50 Years of Ms.' by Katherine Spillar & Gloria Steinem
Amazon
As created by the editors of Ms., this collection includes the best reporting, fiction, and advertising, decade by decade, as well as the best photographs, features, and iconic covers. There's also profiles, conversations with, and features by: Alice Walker, Cynthia Enloe, Pauli Murray, Nancy Pelosi, bell hooks, Eleanor Holmes Norton, Brittney Cooper, and Joy Harjo, as well as fiction and poetry by Toni Morrison, Joyce Carol Oates, Adrienne Rich, Rita Dove, Sharon Olds, and many others. This is such an epic collection that's sure to keep mom flipping pages!
Handmade chocolates from Racchiuti Confections are absolutely divine! They include flavors like Triple Sesame Praline and Tarragon Grapefruit with ingredients sourced from California farmers markets.
There's nothing more universally flattering than tortoise sunglasses, but the Number One Crazy Torts are dramatic and have an aviator green tinted lens that makes them wildly chic. They're effortlessly cool and look great on just about everyone!
This edgy bracelet flows and moves almost like liquid and features a clear hand carved Lucite and gold combination that goes with everything! It's like wearing a sculpture.
All the products listed are independently & personally selected by our shopping editors.
If you buy something from the links in this article, we may earn affiliate commission or compensation. Prices and availability reflect the time of publication.
We all love a pristine home, but let’s be real—sometimes, our cleaning efforts only scratch the surface. Homes can be a playground for germs, bacteria, and fungi if we aren’t meticulous enough about cleaning. That’s where experts like Ryen Toft, owner and founder of Simply Luxe Organizing, come in. Toft knows all the dirty secrets about the areas in our houses that often get overlooked; with her help, we can finally expose and sanitize those bacterial hotspots and enjoy a clean and healthy living space. Whether it’s a hard-to-clean material like jute or off-the-radar spots like fan blades, here’s a list of the germiest places in your home that you probably aren’t cleaning often enough (plus how to go about doing so).
Looks can be deceiving, and we often think bath mats are clean since we’re stepping out of the shower or bath with freshly washed feet. In reality, fabric bath mats collect a lot of moisture, dirt, debris, and other microscopic bacteria.
Cleaning Tip: Wash mats at least once a week and try to decrease humidity in your bathroom with open windows and fans.
Toothbrush Holder
It’s easy to forget about something as simple as a toothbrush holder, but studies consistently show that it is one of the top five breeding spaces for germs.
Cleaning Tip: Make sure to rinse toothbrushes thoroughly after use, allow them to dry completely, and replace them every 3 to 4 months. Clean the holder by soaking it in warm water mixed with a little bleach for 30 minutes. Rinse and soak it in clean water for another 30 minutes to remove the bleach residue. Better yet, use a cup you can toss in the dishwasher.
Area Around the Toilet
Toilet bowls top just about everyone’s must-clean list, but the area around the toilet is less obvious and just as filthy.
Cleaning Tip: Combine one cup of table salt, one cup of baking soda, and one cup of oxygen bleach—these will help disinfect and loosen up the build-up. Allow the solution to rest for an hour and wipe with a damp cloth. Equal parts baking soda and vinegar can also do the job.
Sponges and dishtowels are great for cleaning up messes and absorbing liquid quickly, but they pick up plenty of foodborne pathogens along the way, which can lead to food contamination and cause illness. Don’t wait until your sponge starts smelling—an obvious sign it’s harboring bacteria. It’s recommended to clean your sponge frequently or replace it once a month to ensure proper hygiene.
Cleaning tip: There are several ways to clean a sponge to kill bacteria. Choose to microwave the damp sponge for a minute, put it in the dishwasher—set it on the hottest cycle, or soak it in a solution of one-quarter teaspoon of concentrated bleach per quarter of warm water.
Jute Rugs
Toft shares that jute-style rugs are highly favored by many of her clients, particularly in the kitchen. However, she emphasizes that these rugs are not cleaned properly, or in some cases, not cleaned at all. Luckily, she’s got a hack that she swears by to keep them in tip-top shape: “Jute rugs can be cleaned with vodka; crazy as it sounds, it’s a hack that theater majors have been doing for years with their costumes.”
Cleaning tip: If you don’t want to use liquid, try dry rug shampoo or baking soda.
Blender Gasket
Appliances that aren’t disassembled and cleaned can harbor dirt and grime. Smoothie lovers, your blender gasket is a prime culprit.
Cleaning tip: In addition to cleaning the gasket with soap and water, use a thin-bristle brush on the rubber ring and soak it in warm, soapy water for about 10 minutes to help loosen stubborn stains.
Pet Bowls
As much as we adore our furry friends, it’s easy to forget to clean up their eating area, which can inevitably lead to their bowls becoming more petri-dish than dining-dish. Research shows that dog bowls top the list of “germiest” things in our home.
Cleaning tip: In a perfect world, we’d wash our pet’s dish every day with hot, soapy water and soak it in a solution of 1/3 bleach to one gallon of water for 10 minutes. But real life is never perfect, so tossing it in the dishwasher a few times a week for a quick and convenient clean is a great option.
Toft says those dreaded fan blades are always on the top of her list as they collect so much dirt and can easily be missed. She recently started adding an air filter to each blade and says, “It’s a huge upgrade for us, and I highly recommend it.”
Cleaning Tip: Another way to prevent dust from sticking to fan blades is to wax them with car wax!
Air Vents
Cleaning your air filter is like hitting the reset button on your home’s air quality—it’s a small action that can make a big difference. Not only does it help keep germs at bay, it minimizes dust and allergens.
Cleaning Tip: Replace air filters regularly (every three months) and vacuum visible dust and debris from vents before replacing them.
Babies don’t come with a manual, but they do come with lots of unsolicited opinions on how to raise them best. Mothers have been passing down their wisdom (and so many old wives’ tales) for generations, and while some of that info is valid a lot of it can be disregarded as outdated baby myths. “There are tons of things you can learn from the generation before,” says Dr. Whitney Casares, author of Doing It All: Stop Over-Functioning and Become the Mom and Person You’re Meant to Be and Gerber pediatric consultant. “The most important thing, however, is to fact-check them with a doctor to make sure it’s up to date with current recommendations.”
Since good advice can be a new parent’s saving grace, we’ve enlisted Casares to help us debunk the less-than-solid suggestions—everything from babies needing to poop daily (false) to the idea that you can spoil an infant (super-duper false). Here are 13 common baby myths that could definitely use a background check.
1. You can spoil a baby with too much affection.
Let’s get this one out of the way first for the folks who need to hear it: You cannot spoil a baby. Think about where babies came from—they’re used to a warm, dark, cozy space. Now they’re out in the world and it’s scary. “Our job as parents is to attend to our baby when they are feeling unsure of themselves in the world,” says Casares. “Babies are learning from their parents about attachment, safety, and security. They need to know that there’s someone to care about them.”
2. Babies need to bathe daily.
Babies never really need a daily bath, but this is especially true in the first days of life. That white, cheesy substance that’s all over your baby’s skin when they’re born is a biofilm called vernix caseosa and it’s there for a reason. “Vernix includes ceramides which are an important barrier for the skin, keeping all that good moisture in and allergens out,” says Casares. “The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that parents can keep that on as long as possible.” After that early stage, daily baths are a personal choice. The most important thing is to pay attention to your baby’s hygiene, comfort, and safety in the bath. There’s also research that speaks to the importance of maintaining their skin’s moisture barrier with regular moisturization after baths—this can actually help prevent allergies.
4. You must burp a baby after every feeding…or else.
There’s something slightly ominous when it comes to burping advice, but rest assured: “Your baby will not explode if they don’t burp,” says Casares. “It’s always good to attempt to burp them after every feed, but nothing major is going to happen.” Some gas could get trapped and they may be a bit more fussy, but it usually works its way out. In fact, a 2014 study that compared burped and non-burped babies found no difference in the incidence of colic between the two groups, though they did find that the burped infants were significantly more likely to spit up.
That being said, if you’re going to give it a good go at any time, Casares says before bed is worth prioritizing because that could allow them to sleep more easily. And, well, sleep is everything for parents.
5. Your baby will doze longer if you put some rice cereal in their milk.
While we’re on the topic of sleep, this one is patently untrue and actually dangerous, though you may have heard it from your mom or mother-in-law. While they mean well, a study back in the ’80s that measured whether babies given rice cereal in their bedtime bottles were more likely to sleep through the night found no significant trend or consistent tendency of either group to sleep better than the other. And what’s worse, the AAP has stated that rice cereal in a bottle (known as RIB) is a choking hazard for babies.
New parents may hear both versions of this baby myth. Here are the facts from the AAP: Babies six months and over who are consuming solids can drink a small amount of water, about 4-8 oz. a day. Babies younger than that or who aren’t consuming solids get all of their hydration from breast milk or formula.
7. Babies need to poop every day.
“It’s OK if your baby doesn’t poop every day as long as they are feeding well…and when the poop does come out that it’s normal consistency, soft, without any little pebbles or blood,” explains Casares. Speak with your pediatrician if anything seems amiss, but otherwise, if your baby is happy, you can put your fecal fears to rest.
8. Babies who hit milestones early are gifted.
Simply untrue… and kind of laughable. As a mother of two, I could leave it at that, but Casares agrees. “No, a baby who hits a certain milestone early does not mean they’re going to be the world’s most important genius.” (Parents, fear not, they’ll always be your little genius.) More importantly, if your baby is not meeting any of the expected developmental milestones, make sure that you discuss it with your pediatrician.
9. Babies prefer to sleep on their bellies.
If grandma tells you that in her day babies slept so much better because they put them down on their tummies, and in your sleep-deprived state you almost relent, listen up: Casares stresses that back is best. “The AAP recommends that all babies be put to sleep on their backs in a safe sleep environment, which means that it’s a firm breathable mattress with nothing else in the crib or the bassinet.” Once a baby can roll themselves from back to tummy things might change, but there’s no need to worry. “Sometimes babies will prefer to sleep on their bellies and if they can roll over, lift their head up, and clear their airway, it’s OK.”
“One of my professors in my medical training said, ‘Fever is your friend.’ It can be a sign that your body is fighting off an infection,” explains Casares. “I recommend that parents treat a fever with a fever reducer if it is higher than 102 degrees Fahrenheit.” With that said, the younger a baby is, the more concerning a fever is to a pediatrician. Under one month is a medical emergency; under three months you still need to talk to a doctor and seek help right away.
11. You have to introduce solids in a very specific way.
Every single baby is different. What matters most when you’re introducing solids, explains Casares, is that you’re paying attention to your baby’s development and making sure that they’re physically and developmentally ready to start eating food—which means that they can sit up unassisted, that they can actually swallow the food, but also that they have interest. Generally speaking, “you want to feed the rainbow and try a variety of foods,” she says.
Furthermore, while it was once believed that a baby should be older before trying allergens, current guidelines recommend proactively introducing allergens like peanuts and eggs into their diet soon after they start solid foods. “Research is showing that introducing those allergens into your baby’s diet earlier on may help lower the risks of developing food allergies,” says Casares.
12. Newborn babies can’t see much.
From birth, babies can actually pick up on things that are across the room and see objects in their periphery, according to the American Academy of Ophthalmology, but their primary focus is on what’s much closer to them (around 8-10 inches). Over the first month, as their retinas develop and their pupils begin to dilate and take in more light, infants mostly see in black, white, and shades of grey and prefer items that are within a few feet of them, but soon after they start to see color, too.
And yes, little babies go crosseyed a lot and their eyes seem to jerk around without their permission, but that doesn’t mean they can’t see—rather, it’s a symptom of the fact that they don’t have complete control over their eye muscles just yet.
13. You will love and bond with your baby instantly.
This is a gentle reminder to all parents who have struggled with the expectation that they will fall in love instantly: It’s not always the case and that’s OK. Casares stressed that you’re not alone. “It took me a moment to love my first baby even as a pediatrician, especially because she was really fussy when she was born and had colic,” says Casares. “And now I love her until the end of the earth.” If you’re worried about how you feel, however, checking in with loved ones or your doctor is always a healthy choice.
We’ve all had those days when we don’t feel like picking up one more LEGO. Or when it would be nice if those little sprouts we popped out would, oh I don’t know, put the clothes they’ve tossed just outside the hamper into it. We can dream.
But seriously: When do our kids go from adorable little helpers who think the dustbuster is the coolest thing ever—to small roommates who won’t put in their share? And how do we change that?
So what’s a weary parent to do? How can we get kids to help without force, bribes, or threats? We chatted with experts and came up with 12 motivation tips for unhelpful kids.
1. Start early.
If you’re reading this and you still have kids of that emotionally pliable age (usually under five), now’s your chance to shape them into the helpful little people you want them to be. To do this, parent coach Abigail Wald recommends making the act of helping—which means doing things like doing dishes, cooking, folding laundry, etc.—a non-negotiable. They’re just something we do.
“From when your kids are very young, if you don’t make it a chore but you just make it what everyone does, that makes it easier as they grow up,” says Wald, whose workshops and podcasts aim to help parents of strong-willed kids.
Great, but what if you missed that particular memo, and you’re reading this with a brood of older kids who still balk at your simple requests to be helpful? What motivation tips do you use then?
2. Make it a habit.
Things come easier when they’re part of a routine. So start making some habits! For instance, pick a “Laundry Day” and have everyone pitch in.
“Make it play and do it all together so that it’s not like, ‘OK, you do this on your own,’ That builds the habit so that by the time the kid is older, maybe they can just do the laundry; they’ve built the habit and it’s been a fun pleasurable experience,” says Wald.
3. Don’t act like chores are “hard.”
If every time you set out to do the laundry you loudly lament the mountain of washing and folding ahead of you (literally, for this mom of 11!), it’s not going to make that particular chore very appealing to your future folders.
Our attitude toward chores rubs off on our kids, Wald explains. “If we act like we hate doing chores and then we say to our kids, ‘OK, now you’re old enough to do them,’ it feels like a negative thing and they’re not going to want to do them.”
Try to shift the way you look at helping, and they might, too. Have fun with it. Play dirty clothes basketball with the hamper! And be consistent: The more positive experiences kids have with helping, the more motivated they’ll be to keep it up.
Kids are more likely to do something when they’ve decided for themselves. “Say to them, ‘Obviously, I’m asking you to do things you don’t want to do. So why don’t you choose?’ Give them autonomy to choose how they want to help instead of defining it,” suggests Wald.
If your child chooses a task and doesn’t follow through, give them another chance. Wald explains that you can bring up the fact they didn’t follow through on the task and that you recognize there should be a system in place to support them. That’s when you see if they need help or want to pick something different.
5. Don’t fix what they do when they’re trying to be helpful.
So you asked your child to make their bed… and they did! They actually did! But when they proudly show you their work, you see that the sheets are still sagging to the floor and the comforter is draped diagonally across the bare mattress. It looks almost messier than when everything was just heaped on the ground.
This is an important motivation tip—resist the urge to fix it. “When our kids help, and then we fix what they have done—like, they fold their laundry and then we refold it in front of them—it makes them feel like, ‘Well, why am I going to do that?’ So it’s really important to focus on them doing it rather than them doing it right,” Wald says.
6. When it comes to helping siblings, use flattery to motivate.
You’ve got to be good at something to help someone else. So if you want your older child to help their younger sib with math homework, for instance, don’t make it feel like a job; make it feel like an opportunity for your older kid to strut their stuff. You can say something like: “I think your brother has a hard time grasping this—and I think this is one of those things you understand already—would you have a look at this?”
7. Make a “Circle of Kindness” to pay them back for their helpfulness.
After your kids have done something helpful, a good motivation tip is to show them you appreciate them by paying it forward. You can say ‘I noticed that you did something helpful for your brother, now I want to help you do something to thank you.” Wald says parents should remember to “make it a cycle” of kindness so that kids’ helpful actions trigger a circle of generosity within the family.
8. Use incentives (not bribes).
While you don’t want to flat-out bribe your kid, you can offer incentives. After all, doing chores or any work isn’t fun for everyone—especially tweens and teens, who would often rather be doing anything else. “When you have a job, you don’t necessarily love all parts of the job but you might like what it allows you to buy or the experiences it allows you to have. That’s OK,” Wald says.
9. Allowance helps.
For older kids (9+), try offering an allowance in exchange for completing chores or tasks. Sit down with your child and make a list of chores or tasks. Then, let that be the child’s “job” for the week.
Stixrud, whose academic work has centered on intrinsic motivation in children and young adults, explains it this way: “I like the logic of, ‘I want you to earn the money you spend,’ You can tell them, ‘I want to give you money. It makes you happy when I see you get the things you want. But I want you to earn those things.'”
10. Don’t force them to be helpful.
According to Stixrud, forcing an unwilling child to be helpful is like forcing an unwilling child to apologize: It gets the job done but doesn’t build the emotional IQ you want from the child. “When parents say, ‘How do I motivate my kid to do his homework or brush his teeth or mow the lawn, what they’re saying is, ‘How do I change my kid?’” he says.
Instead, try to work with your child by offering choices and incentives. You can set limits and consequences that make sense (such as, “You need to clean your room if you want friends to come over to play,” or “We have to do the dinner dishes before we can go out for ice cream”), but try to stay away from making your requests for help into forceful demands.
Simply taking force off the table may be motivating in itself. “Letting kids know you’re not going to force them is almost like a superpower,” Stixrud says.
11. Use natural consequences as motivation.
Did your teen not put their laundry in the hamper (again)? Let them run out of clothes! When they come to you, aghast, wondering why there’s no clean underwear in their drawer, tell them they can do it themselves next time. They’ll have to learn how to do the laundry and may think twice about tossing those dirty clothes on the floor next time.
12. Relax, and know your kids will turn out fine.
While it may feel like your child is acting selfish when they refuse to write a thank-you card to a grandparent or clean their rooms when you’ve asked them half a dozen times—don’t blame yourself or catastrophize their future. Their behavior regarding household chores and teen angst-ridden rants are NOT a reflection of you—or who they’re going to be.
Stixrud, stresses that—in the end—the most important thing is our relationship with our kids. “I promise, it doesn’t mean they will be lifelong slackers. It’s better if we let them slide occasionally than to be on them constantly and have it sour the relationship.”
We get it: Sleepless nights come with the territory as a new parent. But there comes a time, usually at around 3 or 4 months, when getting the baby to sleep is suddenly a thing. How you lull your little one into slumber—that is, which baby sleep training method you choose to make it happen—is the question new parents like to debate.
Will you let your baby “cry it out”? Are you a fan of “Ferber-izing”? Or might you opt for no method at all?
“There’s a lot of emotion around sleep training and not a lot of science,” said Dr. Elham Raker, a Los Angeles-based pediatrician, blogger, and parent coach. “I really would love to take the pressure off parents who say, ‘You have to do it this way or that way.’ What works for you mentally, physically, emotionally—that’s what you should do.”
In other words: There is no “right way” to sleep-train a baby.
“Sometimes sleep training is not possible because there are other kids in the house and a cry-it-out method is not realistic,” she said. “Or sometimes parents really need to do the cry-it-out method and get kids to sleep as soon as possible because they have to go to work the next day. There are a lot of factors that are important to consider.”
That said, you’re probably very, very tired… and that baby needs to sleep! So what are your options? Here’s a brief rundown of the most popular sleep training methods. See if any resonate with you. But remember, it’s your baby and your sleep (or lack thereof). So do what works.
Note: Experts say the best time to start sleep-training a baby is around 4-6 months old.
What is it: Developed by renowned pediatrician Richard Ferber, author of the best-selling book Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems and director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children’s Hospital Boston, this method aims to help children learn to fall asleep on their own by allowing them to cry for short periods before parents soothe them. This method is also referred to as check and console, graduated extinction, or the interval method.
How it’s done: Put your child into her crib when she is drowsy (but not asleep), then leave the room. When/if she cries, wait a few minutes (three is recommended on the first night) before going into the room to comfort her. When you go in, don’t pick her up, feed her, or turn on the light. Instead, just pat (or rub) her on the back and talk to her in a comforting voice. Do this for just a few minutes, then leave the room again.
If your baby cries again, wait a little longer (five minutes) before doing the same steps. Repeat this process, extending the time between check-ins, until your baby falls asleep. The next night, wait a little longer before going in the first time and repeat the process. It helps some parents to keep a sleep log so they can see the progress night after night.
Benefits: You feel like you’re tending to your baby’s needs, and most babies respond to this method in about a week.
The hard part: You can’t pick up your child when she’s crying, which can feel like a big challenge. (Even if studies have shown that cry-it-out sleep methods don’t cause long-term damage.) Also, some babies become more agitated when parents come into the room and respond better to a full-extinction method.
What is it: The infamous, often-controversial method of letting your baby cry until she learns how to soothe herself to sleep without your help. It’s also known as extinction.
How it’s done: It’s simple, but perhaps the hardest method to tolerate for many parents (those baby cries!). After your usual nighttime routine (that should include a bath, lullabies, stories, etc.), place your baby into the crib fully awake. When she cries, don’t comfort her. The idea is that she will eventually get tired and fall asleep independently.
Sure, it won’t be easy when you’re standing at your baby’s door listening to those desperate wails, but experts say most babies will respond to this method within a week—with babies crying increasingly less by the third or fourth day. Keep in mind, this method only works if you put your baby down when she’s tired, so look for signs of sleepiness, including rubbing her eyes, pulling at her ears, or overall fussiness.
Benefits: It works quickly and, if you can safely ignore your babies’ protest, parents might be able to get more sleep (this helps if both parents have to wake up for work in the morning).
The hard part: Those cries can be stressful for both baby and parent! And while studies have shown that letting your baby cry at night isn’t harmful to her development (as long as she’s getting the requisite love and care during the day), some experts still advise against this method due to undue stress it may cause the baby (this study, for instance, found that letting crying it out did cause an increase in babies’ blood cortisol levels, though this is not definitively linked to any long-term consequences). It is also unrelentingly hard for most parents.
“I cried more than my baby did when we were sleep training,” blogger Fiona Tapp said in this Romper article (Spoiler-alert: Her baby learned to sleep independently after a week of the CIO method). “I sat in our office next door to his bedroom, stopwatch in hand, and felt like a delinquent mother ignoring his little cries.”
“The good news, after one week he was going to sleep by himself in his own room, sleeping through the night like a champ,” she wrote. “The bad news? Well, the process was the most stressful, tear-filled week of my life.”
What is it: A gentle sleep-training method in which you go to your baby to comfort them, but then put them back down in the crib and leave the room once she is soothed (repeating this process until baby falls asleep). It’s similar to the Ferber Method, but you’re allowed to pick up and cuddle your baby.
How it’s done: After your usual nighttime routine, place your sleepy baby into her crib and leave the room. If she cries, wait a full minute, then go in and try patting your baby lightly while shushing them (whispering). If she is still crying, pick her up and offer cuddles until she is calm but still awake. Then, place her back in her crib and leave the room. Repeat this process until your baby is asleep.
The next night, repeat this process but add two minutes to the wait time each time before you go back into the room. Repeat every night, adding two minutes more every night. The goal is that your baby learns that she is safe—You are there!—but that she can fall asleep independently.
Benefits: You can pick up your crying baby, which feels right for many parents (even if it means losing sleep in the meantime).
The hard part: It can take longer—both to get the baby back to sleep and to eventually sleep-train your baby—when using this method. This is hard, especially if parents need to wake up and go to work in the morning.
What is it: A precursor to the pick-up/put-down method, this one (which was developed by Tracy Hogg, author of the bestselling “Baby Whisperer” books) works for newborns up to about 4 months old and relies on a particular way of “shushing” and “patting” your baby to lull her to sleep.
How it’s done: Lay your sleepy baby in her crib, propping her on her side (since tummy sleeping isn’t recommended), and steadily pat the center of her back while whispering “Shh” in her ear. If your baby doesn’t want to be put down, you can also shush/pat her over your shoulder. Keep shushing and patting until you feel your baby relax and fall into a deep sleep. Then lay her in her crib and leave the room.
Benefits: It works quickly to get your baby to sleep, and can also easily be used for naptimes.
The hard part: This method is meant for younger babies and, consequently, doesn’t always translate into a baby/toddler who will fall asleep independently.
What is it: A gentle sleep training method that allows you to comfort and sit close to your baby as she fusses. Parents sit in a chair next to the crib, moving their position further and further away each night until they no longer need to be in the room. This method works best for older babies (6-9 months).
How it’s done: After your usual bedtime routine, place your sleepy baby in her bed and sit in a chair just beside the crib. You can sing or offer soft, soothing words to (hopefully) help your baby slip into sleep. If your baby cries, you can give verbal comfort and rub your baby’s back but don’t pick her up. Sit back down in the chair when your baby calms down—and leave the room only when your baby is asleep.
After three nights, move the chair a little further from the crib, and repeat the above steps with a little less verbal comforting—use just soft “Shh” noises to calm your baby. After three more nights, move the chair by the door and repeat. Then, finally, move the chair into the hallway (but still be visible). After about two weeks of doing this consistently, you should make it out of the baby’s room.
Benefits: You are there to comfort your baby when she fusses.
The hard part: You can’t pick her up when she fusses. Also, some babies simply won’t be OK with you being there and not picking them up. “The pro of this method is that mom or dad is there and present,” sleep consultant Alanna McGinn told Today’s Parent. “But the con is, there will likely still be some crying, and now baby is watching you watch them cry. It can be really hard to be consistent with this method.”
Do none of these methods sound right to you? That’s OK, too! Maybe you’re the sort of parent who just wants to do what feels right in the moment—to heck with parenting advice and social media missives! Or maybe you’d prefer to co-sleep with your baby and feed on demand?
Remember: There’s no right way.
“I would say the important thing is, ‘How do we get the best version of us to be available to our kids during the day,” Raker said. “Whatever you need to do at night to make that possible I would go with that method.”
It’s important to note that children with neurodiversity including ADHD and autism may have a harder time falling asleep—and these troubles may start in infancy. In addition, some children just require less sleep (though all babies and kids should get at least the minimum of the recommended amount of sleep per day).
“Here’s what I want to say to parents: You may have tried everything; you may have done everything by the book, and it still doesn’t work,” Raker said. “There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with your child. If you want to go to them, go to them. If you want to cosleep, cosleep. Do what works for you; just do it safely.”
Parenting tweens and teens comes with its own unique set of challenges—from when to let your kiddo get their ears pierced to ongoing debates about access to smartphones and supporting them as they deal with the highs and lows of adolescent social lives. Because they’re deep in the trenches of figuring out who they are, it can be tough to keep tabs on their ever-evolving interests, friend groups, and behaviors. That’s where natal astrology can come in handy. While their sun sign—aka the zodiac sign that the sun was moving through when they came into the world—is just one piece of the multilayered puzzle that is your child’s birth chart, it can offer you valuable intel into what makes them tick because it speaks to their core identity, self-image, and confidence.
As an astrologer and the author of Raising Baby by the Stars: A New Parent’s Guide to Astrology, I’m passionate about teaching parents how to use astrology to gain more insight into their child’s distinct perspective. This helps you hold space for your adolescent to evolve into their most centered, self-assured selves. So let’s dive in and look at each sun sign to explain how it colors your big kid’s personality and how you can best support them.
Aries (March 21-April 20)
The sign of the Ram is ruled by Mars, the planet of action and energy, which means your Aries kid has a surplus of beans to burn through. They tend to be drawn to all kinds of physical activity, so they might be super involved in school or community athletics or eager to do their own thing, whether it’s going for runs or riding bikes with friends. Their competitive nature means they love any pursuit where someone is declared #1. As the cardinal fire sign, they’re innate go-getters who have a big-picture vision of what they want to achieve, from straight As to being voted class president. As driven as they may be, Aries is the first sign or “baby” of the zodiac. In other words, they’ll exhibit a wide-eyed, innocent sense of wonder that lasts well beyond their younger years, so expect to enjoy being playful and laughing a lot with your dynamic Ram. You’ll just need to watch out for the fact that their tendency to move at a face pace can mean they’re apt to be impulsive. Encouraging them to slow down and get grounded before making, well, just about any move will benefit them tremendously now and down the road.
Taurus (April 21-May 20)
Born under the sign of the Bull and ruled by Venus, the planet of luxury, art, and beauty, you’ve probably noticed that your Taurus kid is an unhurried, grounded creature of habit. Sure, that might be another way of saying stubborn, but take heart from the fact that they’re far from the only fixed sign. (The others are Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius.) Their fixed nature does make them obstinate at times; they’ll dig their heels in when it comes to taking the same lunch to school every day or wearing that one pair of jeans over and over again. But try to bear in mind that they do this because they’re extremely protective of anything that brings them a sense of comfort and security. And there is a silver lining to being the fixed earth sign: Your kiddo is truly pragmatic and resolute. Once they’ve made up their mind to try out for the soccer team or learn how to play the clarinet, they’ll stick to it. Taureans are also known for moving at their own often-snail-like pace and nudging them to hurry up may backfire. One of the best ways to bond with your Bull is enjoying a leisurely activity out in nature, like a curated picnic with lots of yummy, gourmet bites or a walk through the botanical garden.
Gemini (May 21-June 21)
We’re sure you’ve already noticed just how much your tween or teen adores lively conversation and witty banter, given that this mutable air sign is ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication, transportation, and technology. They’re naturally buzzy, curious, and supersocial. They’re also apt to explore their writing talents and collect and devour a treasure trove of books. Even if they don’t grow up to be a journalist or publicist one day (though they very well may!), your big kid born under the sign of the Twins thrives on taking in and disseminating information. Heads-up: This could mean they are prone to gossiping or getting in trouble for talking too much in class. But their super-communicator skills can also be channeled toward academic and extracurricular success, whether they’re on the yearbook staff or leading the debate team to a state win. When it comes to bonding, you might find that they prefer to connect in a cerebral way, perhaps by talking about the news, watching Jeopardy, or doing a crossword puzzle together. And don’t be surprised if they’re warm and fuzzy one minute, then standoffish the next. Sure, hormones are partly the culprit, but Gemini is also known for its dualistic nature and ability to vacillate between two distinct personality traits.
Born under the cardinal water sign ruled by the moon, which influences emotions and intuition, your Crab tween or teen is deeply sentimental, nurturing, and loving—but also perhaps a bit reclusive when they’re in their feelings. Whereas other kids might be eager to fly the coop ASAP and spend lots of time at their friends’ houses or involved in extracurriculars for hours after school, your Cancer kid is likely happiest and most at peace when they’re at home, surrounded by family. This isn’t to say that they won’t get involved at school or hang with close friends—they are the cardinal water sign, after all, which means they’re also initiators and ambitious go-getters at heart. But getting enough quality time with you and other loved ones is integral to their overall well-being, and holding that in mind could make a world of difference for their confidence and sense of self and purpose. It’s also wise to remember that they’re quite sensitive and can be moody (yep, even more so than your average adolescent) because they’re ruled by the changeable moon, which switches signs and sets a different emotional tone every two-ish days. Connecting with them through homey, cozy experiences like baking, caring for a pet, or planning a family reunion together will make their hearts sing.
Leo (July 23-August 22)
As the fixed fire sign ruled by the vitality-giving sun, your Lion is vivacious, charismatic, optimistic, self-assured, creative, and lots of fun to be around—but also super ambitious, running the risk of being a bit bossy. A born leader and lover of the spotlight, one of your Leo kid’s greatest lessons in life will be to own their confidence without treading into narcissistic, vain, or domineering territory. You can support this by celebrating their ability to love themselves and empower others while teaching them about humility and empathy. Because they adore a round of applause and are so innately self-expressive, they’ll be quick to sign up for drama club, film or dance classes, or any extracurricular where they can woo an audience or run the show. Like all of the fixed signs, they tend to get super, well, fixated on particular game plans and outcomes, so you might need to talk to them about the benefits of being adaptable and capable of pivoting when a situation simply isn’t working out. You’ll find you can best connect with your Leo through playful, upbeat, fun-loving activities, like impromptu dance parties in the kitchen, trips to the beach (they love to soak up the rays of their ruler, the sun), or writing and performing a funny play together.
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
Born under the mutable earth sign ruled by Mercury, the messenger planet that oversees information-gathering and communication, your tween or teen is thoughtful, detail-oriented, helpful, analytical, sensitive, and an adept storyteller. As a result of their mutability, your Maiden kid is adaptable and eager to try their hand at different activities, whether that’s softball one year or piano lessons the next, but you’ll also find that they struggle with indecisiveness. Empowering them to trust their intuition and inner knowing and lean on practices like mindfulness can be incredibly helpful, especially because—as such a cerebral, Mercury-ruled person—they’re often in their heads, prone to overthinking and second-guessing. They might be quite shy or very outgoing (depending on other placements in their birth chart), but either way, they’ll want to connect with peers who share common interests. These kids are also so intellectually curious that they tend to enjoy school work more than the average adolescent, so you’ll do well to support their academic pursuits—while encouraging them to steer away from perfectionism. You’ll connect with your Virgo by learning something new together, trading factoids about their favorite subjects (be that STEM, history, or sports), and tackling everyday to-dos together (something organization-loving Virgo finds grounding).
Thanks to their planetary ruler, Venus, which oversees relationships, beauty, and art, your Libra kid is a total social butterfly with a keen eye for beauty. They could be drawn to a wide variety of artistic outlets, from dancing to painting, but they’re also bound to be particularly eager to express themselves through their wardrobe and, as they get older, their beauty or grooming routine. Symbolized by the Scales, Libras prize balance and justice above just about anything else, so you’ve probably noticed that your tween or teen is quick to diffuse or steer clear of any arguments that may pop up in the house. They attempt to avoid conflict at all costs. But as lovely as their peacemaking nature can be, they do run the risk of expressing their challenging feelings in a passive-aggressive way, so you’ll do well to teach them that difficult emotions, like anger or aggravation, are healthy to acknowledge and work through. This can be a particularly valuable lesson as they navigate social situations, especially one-on-one relationships, which they put even more value in than your average adolescent (because of their association with the Seventh House of Partnership). For this reason, you could find that some of your sweetest bonding moments come when you’re hanging out just you two, enjoying an aesthetically pleasing experience like checking out an art exhibit or visiting a pretty vacation spot.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
Born under the sign of the Scorpion—the fixed water sign—your tween or teen is dynamic, magnetic, a bit mysterious, emotionally intelligent, intense, ambitious, sometimes aloof, and brimming with a formidable inner power that can make them utterly fearless and unstoppable. These traits are owed to Scorp’s co-rulers: their traditional ruler is Mars, the planet of action and energy, while their modern ruler is Pluto, the planet of transformation and power. In turn, Scorpio kids may be eager to check out student government, play a high-intensity sport (they could be into competitive swimming, as a water sign, or hockey), or try their hand at writing poetry. As one of the fixed signs, they also tend to be set in their ways, whether that’s hanging out with the same friends they’ve had since toddlerhood (hey, they’re very loyal) or continuing to put their nose to the grindstone to pursue a goal they set when they were in kindergarten. Basically, once they’ve made up their minds, it can be extremely challenging to get them to consider—let alone accept—change, which could be fuel for head-butting. And when they’re working through challenging emotions, you can expect radio silence. In these cases, your best bet is to give them plenty of space to work it out, reminding them that you’re there for them whenever they’re ready to talk. Regularly visiting your nearest body of water to walk, take artistic photos, and chow down on a yummy meal together can be therapeutic for your adolescent Scorp—and set the stage for meaningful bonding.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
Born under the mutable fire sign Sagittarius, your tween or teen is free-spirited, unfiltered, philosophical, fun-loving, funny, and full of wanderlust. Ever since they were tiny tots, we’d bet they’ve entertained you with their big, buoyant personality. Now, as an adolescent, your Archer is bound to be even louder and more gregarious, eager to make the most of life and believing that bigger is usually better (thanks to their ruling planet, Jupiter, which is not only the largest planet in the solar system but one that oversees fortune and abundance). This “more, more, more” perspective could translate to your Sag having a lot of fun wearing over-the-top outfits or enjoying pastimes like comedy that involve entertaining others, signing up for a bevy of diverse extracurriculars (at the risk of probably spreading themselves too thin), or opting to get out in the world and see and do as much as possible. This is one kid who needs to explore and break free from their mundane, everyday routine in order to grow and thrive. While this can’t always involve the globe-trotting they likely daydream about, you can nurture their adventurousness by encouraging them to learn another language or try different types of global cuisine. You’ll find you can easily bond by getting out of your comfort zones as a family.
Born under the cardinal earth sign and ruled by taskmaster Saturn, which oversees commitment and boundaries, your Capricorn tween or teen is serious, goal-oriented, pragmatic, industrious, and jaw-droppingly mature beyond their years. In fact, they might have been talking about college applications and their ideal career trajectory well before their peers. Even if they’re not that laser-focused on their future, it does bear noting that their cardinal quality makes them quite driven and eager to take the initiative to make ambitious aspirations their reality. This trait also sets your Sea Goat kiddo up nicely for being a leader among their friends and peers. They’ll often be the one who proposes starting a new club or entering an academic competition. Unlike fellow cardinal sign Aries, for instance, you’ll notice that your Cap is perfectly fine working toward their goals at a steady, unhurried pace. In fact, they prefer to always have a clear objective and step-by-step game plan or they feel a bit lost. They might also struggle to let loose, move through big emotions, and accept their own mistakes, particularly because they dread the possibility that they may look “foolish.” In turn, you’ll do well to work with them on self-acceptance and embracing “oops” or emotionally intense moments as opportunities to grow and learn. And when it comes to bonding with your Capricorn, you’ll do well to suggest activities that involve working a little bit at a time toward a larger goal, like gardening, tackling an elaborate LEGO project, or learning about investing and saving together.
Aquarius (January 22-February 18)
Traditionally ruled by taskmaster Saturn, the sign of the Water Bearer is also influenced by game-changing Uranus, its modern ruler, producing a tween or teen that can be both resolute and rebellious. They’re also science-minded, super-social, independent, free-spirited, humanitarian, and fired up to strike out against convention. A born people person, you’ve probably noticed that they’re able to make friends with anyone and everyone, yet, as a fixed sign, they do have certain VIPs who they’re closest to. Their fixed quality can also contribute to a particularly stubborn mindset that they’ll “do what they want.” In other words, if you have a weekend plan for family togetherness and they’d rather play video games or see a movie with their besties, you might have to deal with some fireworks. (Uranus’s influence can cause Aquarians to lose their cool out of the blue, so you’ll need to steel yourself for some of that.) But their fierce devotion to marching to the beat of their own drum can also impress you, as they’ll be the first in their class to sign up for a volunteer opportunity to support a local charity or the kid who’s always educating their peers about climate change. You’ll do well to support their desire to be uniquely themselves by complimenting their power-clashing outfits or interest in an up-and-coming indie band. Bond with your Water Bearer by checking out a science museum or getting involved in a philanthropic community effort.
Pisces (February 19-March 20)
Your tween or teen born under the mutable water sign Pisces is deeply empathic, artistic, emotional, eager to help, and in touch with the mystical, spiritual side of life. You could find that your big kid Fish is incredibly intuitive, even a bit psychic, picking up on the emotional subtext of any situation—and then, often, taking on other people’s feelings as their own. This is a case for working with them on recognizing their own feelings and separating them from those of others—and explaining the difference between (and pros and cons of) sympathy versus empathy. As a mutable sign, your Pisces is super adaptable and capable of trying a variety of hobbies and activities, but being ruled by the planet of spirituality and dreams, Neptune, means they’ll be especially eager to dive into fantastical pursuits like theater, filmmaking, or creative writing. They may also love fantasy novels and watching movies that take place in different, ethereal worlds because they have such vivid imaginations and enjoy any chance to step out of their everyday reality. Because they feel so deeply and are so sensitive, they could be easily heartbroken when friendships, or later, romantic relationships don’t work out, so you’ll do well to remind them that you’re there for them and to encourage them to foster self-love, which will serve as a strong foundation for all of their bonds. You can connect with your adolescent Pisces by exploring a wide variety of creative, spiritually fulfilling ways to work through emotions, whether that’s journaling about daydreams, doing yoga, or putting on a whimsical performance.
Your baby’s first year will be a whirlwind of dirty diapers, meeting milestones, and flashing charming, toothless smiles that’ll melt your heart. Amid all that, it’s hard to know when they’re ready for new experiences, like swim classes or their first airplane trip. That’s where we come in. If you’re trying to figure out how to balance what baby can do with places to have fun (we know you’re ready to get out there), simply pull up this list. It matches fun baby activities with the right age to introduce each.
Places to Have Fun: 0-3 months
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Go on a Walk
Strolls around the block, through a nearby park, or in your favorite neighborhood are great at any age for you and your baby. It’s a chance to get out of the house, breathe some fresh air, and maybe even run into a friend or two. Speaking of, this is one of those baby activities that’s best with another parent. That way you can gab and share and get that support that all new parents need.
Take a Baby and Me Yoga Class
If your two-month-old naps easily in a car seat or stroller, you might be ready for a baby and me yoga class, where you can get some exercise and meet some other new parents, too. Some classes are also designed to include babies in the movements. Just make sure your little one is ready to participate before making the switch.
Meet Up with Family
Whether you head out to a coffee shop to meet up with grandparents, or you bring a picnic to a nearby park to meet up with baby’s uncle, those first few months are a great time for family (near and far) to meet your newest addition. The best part? These folks are going to want to hold your baby, and unlike most who ask, we’re pretty sure you’ll let them.
Join a Parent Workout Class
Finding the time to work out in those first few months can be challenging. But if you can bring baby along with you, you’ve at least got a fighting chance. National programs like FIT4MOM include babies in the workout, so you can get out, get exercise, and meet other new parents.
Good to Know: The American College of Obstetrics & Gynecologists (ACOG) gives the green light to working out a few days after giving birth if you had an easy vaginal delivery. But it’s best to consult with your OB-GYN before starting back into a workout routine.
Places to Have Fun: 3-6 Months
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Visit Your Local Zoo or Aquarium
A trip to the zoo offers loads of new sights and sounds for a stroller-bound five- or six-month-old. A petting zoo can be a great sensory experience and a chance to practice farm animal sounds. If there’s not a zoo nearby, you can get some animal time by heading to a local dog park to watch the puppies play.
Most libraries and lots of independent bookstores across the country offer free storytime sessions for babies and toddlers. Many even have special times for the youngest babes. Starting around four months old, your child will love snuggling with you to enjoy rhymes, songs, and super-short stories.
Go for a Hike or a Run
Simple walks are good for those first few months. But when your wee one is a bit more stable around three to four months, you can head out for longer, bumpier treks into the great outdoors. At that age, babies can ride in a solid, structured back carrier, which makes your adorable load easier to carry on extended treks.
Places to Have Fun: 6-9 Months
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Explore the Beach
Around this time, babies are learning to crawl. If you’re lucky to time this developmental stage with summertime, we couldn’t think of a better place to explore than a nearby beach. Sand works surprisingly well as a surface to learn to crawl. And babies this age love the sensation of sand running through their fingers and squishing under their toes.
You’ve been waiting to take your baby to the playground forever, and now is the time. The baby swings at your local playground are perfect for little ones who can sit up on their own and control their head. Try out a swing at six months to see if your baby enjoys it, and expect them to love it by eight or nine months. To make the seat more comfortable for them, tuck a blanket in front of, or behind, your baby to fill out the bucket swing.
Sign Up for a Music Class
Although baby may be too little for an at-home dance party, that doesn’t mean you can’t make music a part of baby’s life. Around seven months, when kids can sit up and bang a rattle, parent and me music class starts to be extra fun for little ones and their grown-ups. Hint: they’re even more fun when you bring a friend.
Visit a Local Children’s Museum
Most children’s museums have set up awesome, interactive centers specifically for babies and toddlers under three. They’re equipped with soft pillows to scramble across and big blocks to stack. Try this when your crawler needs a safe, fun place to explore, starting right around eight months of age.
Places to Have Fun: 9-12 Months
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Try a Swim Class
The American Academy of Pediatrics says kids as young as age one may be ready to start swim lessons—and research suggests that swim lessons for kids under age four reduces the risk of drowning. If you have a water baby on your hands, your child might enjoy splashing around in a parent and me swim class starting around this age.
Take a Baby Gym Class
Active crawlers, usually between eight to ten months, will get a kick out of a gym class. They can scramble over pyramids of pillows and giggle underneath a parachute, all in a super-cushioned play area. All that activity tires kids out, which usually translates into good, long naps.
Get a New Set of Wheels
At age one, your not-so-tiny-anymore baby should be ready to try a ride-on toy. From trikes to toddler-sized fire trucks, anything with wheels and foot-to-floor action is a hit with toddlers. Hint: it makes a great first-birthday present.
Make sure to capture all of your first-year fun—and share it with your family and friends near and far—with the Tinybeans app. The secure platform puts parents in total control of who sees and interacts with photos and videos of their kids.
Ask any parent what it’s like to raise a kid today, and we’d likely tell you modern childhood seems much more complex—and perilous—than when we were young. Thanks to increased peer pressure, massive technological advances, and on-demand access to virtually anything via click or tap, kids today face a wider array of choices and decision-making opportunities than we did when we were their age.
As parents, we hope we’ve instilled strong values and resilience in our children so they’re always able to make good decisions. But how can we be sure they’ll do the right thing, especially when we’re not around? While there’s no magic formula, here are 10 tips to help your kid make smart decisions—even when you’re not there.
1. Start conversations about smart decision-making early.
The earlier parents initiate conversations about how to make good decisions with their kids, the better. Explaining to your child what it means to make a good decision and why it’s important can set them up for future success. Kevin Zoromski, a psychologist and early childhood development expert says, “Give children choices as part of their day and as part of their typical routine. They will look forward to having some say over what they get to do in the household and you will establish their sense of responsibility as important decision-makers.”
2. Role-model smart decision-making behaviors.
Kids learn through observation and patterning the behaviors of people in their lives, especially their parents. Modeling good decision-making behavior will help reinforce your life lessons. Show your kid that you are honest, responsible, and accountable for your choices. “You are your child’s first and most important role model,” said mental health expert Ketsupa Jirakarn. “[Kids] are always observing and learning from you every day—even when you are unaware of it. So, make sure you practice what you preach.”
3. Set clear expectations and boundaries.
Let your kids know what you expect from them in terms of making smart decisions. For older kids, this could include things like always telling you where they are going, not using illicit substances like drugs and alcohol, and staying away from dangerous situations. “Children are more likely to accept the limits you set and are more likely to want to meet your expectations (i.e., be responsible) when you provide a warm, caring, and supportive relationship that underlies the discipline you impose,” according to a report from The Center for Parenting Education.
4. Practice makes perfect.
Give your child opportunities to practice smart decision-making. This could involve giving them small choices, such as what to wear to school or what to eat for dinner. It also could involve giving them bigger choices, such as whether to join a sports team or what to do with their allowance. By empowering your child to learn about the consequences of their choices through smaller actions, they will feel more empowered when making bigger decisions on their own.
When your kid makes a mistake, don’t immediately swoop in to fix the problem or resort immediately to punishment. Help them understand why a misstep was a consequence of not making the best decision, and then talk about how they can make a better choice next time. According to a report from the Harvard Graduate School of Education, “Reframing mistakes as opportunities from which we can learn—rather than failures alone—can help us feel like we are capable and in control. Reframing can also help us handle future mistakes more effectively.”
6. Develop their critical thinking skills.
Learning how to think critically and independently requires self-awareness (i.e., knowing strengths, weaknesses, and values) as well as problem-solving skills. Encouraging your child to think through a decision and come up with a solution can further nurture and develop their critical thinking skills. “In childhood and adolescence, the body goes through many physical changes, but there are also many changes in how we think, feel, and behave, and in our motivations,” according to a report from Frontiers for Young Minds. It’s through repeated trial and error that kids develop the necessary skills to thrive into adulthood.
7. Help them understand risks.
Some decisions have few consequences, while other decisions are highly consequential. Teaching your child the difference between big and small choices, and understanding the risks associated with some decisions will mitigate the chances of bad outcomes. For example, teach young kids about the risks of eating too much junk food or overdoing it with screen time, and teach older kids about the risks of cyberbullying and underage drinking.
8. Nurture emotional intelligence.
Talk to your child about the choices they’re facing and help them understand the different options and the potential consequences of each choice. Teaching them how to evaluate information, identify biases, and make informed decisions as well as helping your child understand and manage their emotions and how to make decisions that are in line with their values will serve them well. “Emotional literacy starts at birth when babies can just bond with [their parents] and connect on just that level. And it continues to evolve,” said Dr. Michele Borba, parenting expert and author of Building Moral Intelligence: The Seven Essential Virtues that Teach Kids to Do the Right Thing.
9. Be supportive and consistent.
As parents, being supportive and consistent with our reactions to our children’s choices will help ensure they make smart ones, even when we’re not present. If you sometimes let your child get away with making a bad decision, they will be less likely to take you seriously when you expect them to make good choices without you. Additionally, when your kid makes a good decision, be sure to praise and validate them. “Youth who experience more positive interactions with parents are better adjusted. Indeed, consistency in parenting—primarily consistency in discipline—has been linked to more positive youth outcomes,” according to a report from the National Institutes of Health.
10. Practice patience and understanding.
It takes time for kids to learn how to make smart decisions. Don’t get discouraged if they don’t always and immediately make the right choices. Even when your kids are old enough to make decisions themselves, they still need your patience and understanding. Be there to talk to them, offer advice, and help them deal with the consequences of their decisions.
At 19 months old, my daughter has the appetite of a fully grown adult. She eagerly downs adult-sized plates of nutritious foods without complaint. How? I owe it all to baby-led weaning (also known as BLW). My husband and I don’t make a habit of spoon-feeding our child, and we’ve never bought baby food. From the beginning, she’s eaten what we eat—all on her own—within reason. Before I get into baby-led weaning and why I think it’s the savior of picky eaters everywhere, let me stress that BLW is a decision you should make after talking with your pediatrician. It may or may not be a suitable introduction to solid foods for your child.
So what exactly is baby-led weaning?
Typically babies start eating solid foods around 4-6 months by being spoon-fed purees. Slowly, they build up to chunkier foods until they graduate to solids. Babies learn to swallow food first and chew later.
With baby-led weaning, babies start no earlier than six months with soft solid foods cut into finger-length spears. Think watermelon, avocado, bananas, cooked veggies, or stewed meat.
Babies are allowed to experiment—i.e., play—with what they eat. Manipulating food teaches them how to deal with different tastes and textures, and how to bite or mash food into swallowable pieces.
Is BLW healthy?
Yes! The onus is on families eating well-balanced meals and sharing those meals with their children.
There are a few things to keep in mind though:
Foods need to be low in salt and sugar, and as with any infant under one, no honey.
While it can take babies a while—up to a few weeks—to swallow anything, they receive the nutrients they need via formula or breastmilk.
Parents can incorporate a mix of BLW and purees, but we opted to stick to a strict BLW and breastmilk diet.
My husband and I took an online infant safety class before our daughter’s first meal. But that’s a safe move regardless of how you choose to feed your child.
Now I don’t want to get into the ins and outs of BLW—you can read up on it here— but I want you to know it’s been one of our favorite parenting decisions.
Why was BLW one of our best decisions ever?
It’s made our daughter more independent. From day one BLW babies eat on their own. The method asks that you don’t spoon-feed your child—ever. (Though some people are more strict than others and we’ve had a few occasions where we’ve been more lenient).
BLW babies are expected to be in charge of their food journey. My daughter chooses what she wants to eat and how much of it—within the options that are in front of her. The implications of that set kids up for a life-long positive relationship with food. If she doesn’t want to eat that much one day? Fine. She’ll more than make up for it the next day.
Today, our friends, family, and her daycare teacher repeatedly tell us how good of an eater she is. And it’s true—we’ve avoided a picky eater which we think is due to her being in control of what she eats from the beginning. My child is happily entertained with whatever you place in front of her. That means veggies, fruit, seafood—you name it.
I think that is because BLW kids are allowed (and encouraged) to experience their food. Because they’re eating on their own, it gives babies a chance to pick up their food, mash it, touch it, look at it, and eventually eat it.
What this encourages (aside from making a mess) is for kids to play with different textures, shapes, tastes, and colors.
But it also allows kids to experience food in the same form we eat it as adults. I don’t eat pureed carrots, or meat, or any mixture thereof. But I do eat solid carrots and meats. BLW allows kids to observe, touch, and taste whole foods the way they will encounter them as they get older.
Fussy eaters often complain about the differences in texture or taste. BLW nips that in the bud by having babies encounter those differences from the get-go.
The Result? We Have Stress-Free Meal Times
Because my daughter devours whatever we give her and because we don’t have to spoon-feed her, mealtimes are family time. There’s no need to feed the baby first and then eat once she’s gone to bed. The three of us get to enjoy our meals at the same time. And as babies learn through observation, BLW has helped our daughter be a part of a daily, communal family dinner.
The Unexpected Part? It Saves Time & Money
Here are the oh-so-fantastic list of things that we appreciate now:
No extra meal prep
No need to bring food when we eat out
No need to buy baby food
To a certain extent, it lets us live like we don’t have a baby. We enjoy our meals, we still eat out, and we eat a healthy, grown-up diet.
I Can’t Imagine Doing It Any Other Way
BLW has made my daughter into the little devourer of food that she is. I’m proud to see her happily munching away at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I’m relieved we can take her virtually anywhere and know she’ll be fine. But my favorite part? Sitting down as a family to a very normal, calm meal.
BLW has changed my whole outlook on getting kids started eating. It boosters a love for a healthy, varied diet while getting kids acquainted with food on their own terms.
Yes, it’s a personal decision, but I’m proud to say baby-led weaning has been a winning choice for our family.
I'm a New Yorker, married to a Texan, living in Spain, and enjoying the mash of cultures that keep us laughing every day. We have a too-smart-for-her-own-good toddler who's already more bilingual than we are. I'm also a teacher and creator of Bilingually Yours, a blog for Spanish teachers and bilingual families.
